The Augusta Chronicle is running a section in their paper were elementary, middle and high school students write letters to  Barack Obama, telling him what they hope he will do once he gets into office on January 20th. Since Barack Obama is an amazing person, he decided to write back.  This is why he’s going to be a better president than George Bush.

Dear Mr. President,
My name is Dasani Gates and there are a few things I would like for you to do as president. One thing I would like for you to do is improve the salary of working people. If you would improve the salary of working people, my mom wouldn’t have to work two jobs to support me and my family. The next thing I would like for you to do as president is to lower prices for gas, food, and taxes. If you would lower the prices for these things my mom would have more money to buy me more clothes to wear and more toys to play with. I would also like you to improve the health care benefits for everyone in America. If you improve the health care benefits, everyone would have better dental and medical care for their families. The last thing I would like you to do as president is to improve the learning environment for all students in America. If you improve the learning environment, we would have better schools to learn in, new books to learn with and better after-school activities so everyone will be well rounded students. I believe if you do these things you will be the best president in the United States of America.
Sincerely,
Dasani Gates
Second-grader at Lord House of Praise
Christian School; Waynesboro, Ga.

Dear Ms. Gates,
I want to start off this letter by thanking you for writing.  I know how hard it is to sit down and put words on paper and I’m glad that your second grade teacher forced you to do this.  This shows that you can follow orders and I value that.  But what the fuck are you thinking telling me what to do?  Have you forgotten who I am already?  I’m BARACK OBAMA bitch.  Don’t you think I’ve already thought up of ways to improve people’s salary?  What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing since I slapped that old white guy in the face with my big black dick?  I’ve got shit under control.

Instead of worrying about people’s salaries, you should be worrying about how selfish you are.  Asking me to raise your mother’s salary so she can buy you clothes and toys and shit.  You’re lucky you aren’t my daughter or I would beat the shit out of you for being selfish and disrespecting your mother like that.  I’m sure she doesn’t want you writing me to complain about how poor you are.  You’ve lost your goddamn mind.  You know what?  Because you’ve insulted your mother, I’m going to make sure your school doesn’t get any funding and your second grade teacher is fired.  How do you like that bitch?
Thanks again for writing me and letting me know how you feel. Hope you have a great year.

God bless you and God bless America,
President Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President,
I want you to keep companies in America so my dad will stop looking to see if it’s made in China. It is important to keep jobs because one of my friend’s dad does not have a job.
Get better schools for your kids. Please get a better facility and supplies for your kids. We only have two computers in our classroom. We could learn more with more computers. Send us some money please.
Sincerely,
Savannah Makowski
Third-grader at
Roy Rollins Elementary School, Augusta

Dear Ms. Makowski,
I want you to do something for me, alright?  I want you to walk up to your dad and tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP.  Why the hell is he complaining about China now?  I don’t see any letters written to Ronald Regan from him about this China problem.  I wonder why? Oh that’s right, it’s because I’m black. I’m that Magical Negro and I’m supposed to use my magical powers to make all the white people feel better.  Ain’t that right masta’?

Your father he can go fuck himself in his deer stand.  I hope him and your best friend’s dad go hunting, get drunk and kill get other…stupid fucking rednecks.

As far as my kids go, you’re goddamn right they will have the best of everything. I’m not stupid enough to send them to a poor school like your worthless father did to you.  You can forget me sending you money because your dad will take it and spend it on Bud Light and chewing tobacco.  One second thought..I will send you some money because I hope your dad gets drunk and beats the shit out of you and your mom.

God bless you and God bless America,
President Barack Obama

Dear President Obama,
Congratulations on being the next president of the United States! I hope you will make the best decisions for our country. One of the most important things I think you should reconsider is this: Every time you make a decision, think about how it will affect everyone and put yourself in their position. I find that helps me to make the right decisions. For example: abortion. What if you were the baby? If you could fast forward in time and defend yourself, would you? ONly you can make this decision for yourself. I hope you choose wisely for this country. God bless.
Sincerely,
Will Skelton
Eighth-grader at
Stallings Island Middle School, Evans

Dear Will Skelton,
Thank you for congratulation me on becoming the new President.  I’m not going to lie…I was shocked that I won.  I thought that old man and his super hot, stupid bitch would steal the election from me like George Bush did to Al Gore and John Kerry.  But I was wrong…and that will be the only time I’ll ever be wrong again.

Now about your question on if I was a baby would I defend myself from abortion.  Who put you up to that?  I bet it was your mom, wasn’t it?  Or was it your grandma?  It couldn’t have been your father because he would have made you ask me about China like Savannah’s dad did since I’m sure he is a huge fucking redneck.  Let me ask you something…why do you care about abortion?  Does it affect you in any way?  Is it your body?  Does it even concern you?

Fuck no it doesn’t, so how about you mind your own goddamn business. When you give birth three or four times and have to go through everything a woman has to go through, then I will take your question into consideration. Until then, you and your goddamn  family can shut the fuck up.

Goddamn I wish your mother would have aborted you. Then I wouldn’t have had to read your stupid fucking letter…you dumb shit.

God bless you and God bless America,
President Barack Obama

Dear President Obama,

America is ready for change. I am very glad you are going to be our next president because there have been too many Republicans in the presidency. I think there should be less conflict between the Republicans and the Democrats. Please lower taxes and take the troops out of Iraq; we are ready for them to come home. I hope that you will lower gas prices and that you will help the economy get back in shape as only you can.

Sincerely,
Benjamin Allen
Eighth-grader at
Stallings Island Middle School, Evans

Dear Benjamin Allen,
I too believe America is ready for a change and that’s why I made it my motto during the election. I just kept repeating “Change we can believe in” and soon enough people thought I could change things and they elected me.  Ha…people are so goddamn stupid.

Do you really think I’m going to change anything?  I’m not going to lower taxes, I’m going to raise them.  I’m not going to withdraw troops from Iraq, I’m going to send more.  I’m not going to give people universal health care, I’m going to help the insurance companies.  I’m going to do what ever other president has done before me, make the rich, richer and poor, poorer.  The only difference is I’m a nice looking black man with a mouthful of pearly white teeth and washboard abs.

I hope you like the ass fucking because it isn’t going to stop anytime soon.

God bless you and God bless America,
President Barack Obama

Technorati Tags: Augusta Chronicle, Barack Obamaa, Health care, Iraq, Politics, Ronald Reagan, United States, United States President

Tags: Augusta Chronicle, Barack Obamaa, Health care, Iraq, Politics, Ronald Reagan, United States, United States President
Comments (0)

I’m getting a tingling sensation in my groin area and I’m pretty sure it isn’t a STD.

Rocket attacks from Gaza have forced Israelis to flee in ever greater numbers, escalating the belief among Israel’s military chiefs that Hamas missiles could threaten the nation’s top secret nuclear facility at Dimona.

Israeli officials say that Hamas has acquired dozens of Iranian-made Fajr-3 missiles and with it, an even longer range than previously seen. Many fear that as the group acquires ever more sophisticated weaponry it is only a matter of time before the nuclear installation at Dimona, 20 miles east of Beersheba, falls within its sights.

Fuck yea.  Now that is a way to end a war.  Forget how the London Times and Fox News know where Israel’s top secret nuclear base is or how hypocritical Israel is to even have a secret nuclear base, if Hamas pulls this off it will be the greatest upset the world as ever seen.

Think about it, Israel is bombing the fuck out of the Gaza strip.  Shit they just used a 1 ton bomb that killed a leader of Hamas, his four wives and nine kids.  Why did they have to use a 1 ton bomb?  Fuck if I know. I’m guessing that the leader and his family had super human strength and could regenerate their health so Israel had to use a huge bomb to make sure they  killed them.   But I’m not a major or general or whatever the fuck they call a high ranking official in the military, so I don’t know.

But can you imagine the look on ever world leader’s face if Hamas  blows up Israel’s nuclear base?

The thought of a single missile fired from a Hamas solider as he is being shot at by seven Israeli soldiers and it lands on top of Israel’s nuclear base, which causes a gigantic chain reaction that blows up every nuclear missile that Israel is secretly hiding, which destroys Israel and forces them to surrender while causing radioactive fallout that kills everyone on the Gaza strip, gets my dick hard.

Hollywood couldn’t write a better ending for the world…

Technorati Tags: Beersheba, Dimona, Gaza, Gaza Strip, Hamas, Israel, Israelis, Missile, Nuclear Weapons, War

Tags: Beersheba, Dimona, Gaza, Gaza Strip, Hamas, Israel, Israelis, Missile, Nuclear Weapons, War
Comments (4)

Or they wouldn’t have given themselves a raise.

A crumbling economy, more than 2 million constituents who have lost their jobs this year, and congressional demands of CEOs to work for free did not convince lawmakers to freeze their own pay.

Instead, they will get a $4,700 pay increase, amounting to an additional $2.5 million that taxpayers will spend on congressional salaries, and watchdog groups are not happy about it.

Since Congress gave themselves a raise, the Supreme Court wants one too

Chief Justice John Roberts said Wednesday that Congress should be as generous to judges as it already has been to itself, by approving an inflation-related increase in their pay. “I must renew the judiciary’s modest petition: Simply provide cost-of-living increases that have been unfairly denied,” Roberts said in his annual year-end report on the federal judiciary.

Federal trial judges are paid $169,300 a year. Appellate judges make more, ranging up to Roberts’ salary of $217,400. The salaries pale in comparison to what top lawyers earn in private practice.

Jesus fucking Christ.  Two million people have lost their jobs since December 2007 and these cunts give themselves a raise.  47 million people are living without health insurance and the Supreme Court bitches about inflation.

Why do we listen to these greedy motherfuckers?  Why do we continue to bend over and take it in the ass as they steal our money and give it to their Wall Street friends?

Where is the outrage?  Where is the news coverage from CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC?  Where are the hard hitting questions from the seasoned reporters who have the people’s best interest in mind?  Where are the honest politicians who strive to make a difference in Washington?

Oh that’s right…they don’t exists because they don’t care about you.  They don’t care if you’ve lost your job.  They don’t care if you’ve lost your house.  They don’t care if you can’t afford health care for your kid.  They wouldn’t piss down your throat if your heart was on fire.

Why?

Because you aren’t rich and white.  If you were, our government will bend over backwards to give you money so you could afford that 36 million dollar apartment in New York.  If you were rich and white, our government will rush to approve a 800 billion dollar bailout so you will get your bonuses this year.  If you were rich and white, our government will let you fuck any part of their body you want.

But you’re not so they don’t give a shit about you.  So just continue to  pull down your pants, bend over, and enjoy the ass fucking since you aren’t going to change anything…happy new year you fucking pussies…

Technorati Tags: CNN, Congress, Fox News, Fox News Channel, John G. Roberts, John Roberts, MSNBC, Supreme Court, United States, United States Government

Tags: CNN, Congress, Fox News, Fox News Channel, John G. Roberts, John Roberts, MSNBC, Supreme Court, United States, United States Government
Comments (6)

How many dicks did this man have to suck to become the 25th United States Ambassador to the United Nations because he makes Sarah Palin’s baby look like a genius.

Yesterday, on Fox’s Hannity and Colmes, Iran war hawk John Bolton said that Israel’s recent bombing campaign in Gaza is all the more reason for the United States to bomb Iran now. “So while our focus obviously is on Gaza right now, this could turn out to be a much larger conflict,” he said, adding that “we’re looking at potentially a multi-front war here.”

How can he expect people to take him seriously with a mustache like that? Look at it.  It looks like someone took a gray, fuzzy shit on his face and he doesn’t have the balls to wipe it off.  No wonder he has been calling for war with Iran for so long now, he’s pissed that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has better facial hair than him.  Stupid bastard.

And why is it the only show that will speak to him is Hannity and Colmes?  Is it because everyone else knows how fucking stupid he is? Sorta like Sean Hannity….

Technorati Tags: Fox News, Gaza, Iran, Israel, John Bolton, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Middle East, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, United States, United States Ambassador

Tags: Fox News, Gaza, Iran, Israel, John Bolton, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Middle East, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, United States, United States Ambassador
Comments (2)

Role playing time. Let’s say you have a 17 year-old daughter and she runs to you crying because she just found out she’s pregnant.  After calming her down by punching her in the face several times because she didn’t make the guy wear a condom or at least pull out, you ask her who the father is and she tells you he’s an 18 year-old high school drop out who’s mom just got arrest on felony drug charges. What do you do?

If you’re Sarah Palin, you pop open a bottle of your favorite beer and celebrate.

The daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave birth to a son this past weekend.

Bristol Palin, 18, gave birth to Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston on Saturday. He weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces.

Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, have five children ranging in age from son Trig, 7 months, to son Track, 19. In between are daughters Willow, 14; Piper, 7; and Bristol.

Why the fuck is Tripp spelled with two p’s?   Is that supposed to be cute?  Are they trying to make the name stand out? And why name him that?   Isn’t there enough people in the family who’s name begins with the letter T? Todd, Track, Trig, and now Tripp.  I’m at a loss of words on how fucking stupid those names are.

Goddamnit I hate babies.  People want to pretend like it’s a miracle when they are born but it isn’t. A dick threw up in a vagina.  That’s it.  Any retard can make a baby.  Watch the movie I Am Sam if you don’t believe me.

Fuck I’m so pissed right now.   Not at the baby.  I’m pretty sure if the baby knew he was going to be born to a 17 year-old mom and her 18 year-old high school drop out fuck buddy, he would have tried to strangle himself with the umbilical cord. No I’m pissed because retards are reproducing.

This is the beginning of the end folks…retards are fucking…Christ this blows….

Technorati Tags: Alaska, Bristol Palin, Executive Branch, GILF, Government, High school, MILF, Red Neck, Sarah Palin, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, United States

Tags: Alaska, Bristol Palin, Executive Branch, GILF, Government, High school, MILF, Red Neck, Sarah Palin, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, United States
Comments (2)

Our government doesn’t like sex in America but they want to spread the love overseas.

In an effort to win over fickle warlords and chieftains in Afghanistan and get information from them, CIA officials are handing out Viagra pills in exchange for their cooperation, the Washington Post reports.

“Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people - whether it’s building a school or handing out Viagra,” an agency operative, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Post.

That’s right people, we have spent over one trillion dollars and sacrificed over 4,000 American lives so  men who can’t get it up in the Middle East can fuck.

Jesus Christ.

Do they really think this will help with the “War on Terror”?  Do they think those men are going to come together and say, “Guys, we might have been wrong about America.  They knew our dicks weren’t working and instead of taking away our heroin and forcing us to exercise, like they do to their own people, they’ve decided to give us a pill that allows us to stay hard up to four hours.  And it isn’t that cheap ass Cialis they’re always showing during Monday Night Football.  I say we just stop fight and start fucking.  Who’s with me?”

Our soldiers are fucked and you can except the number of their deaths to go up.  Why?  Because we’ve just told the entire world that the men we are fighting can’t get hard.  Do you have any idea how damaging that is to the male ego?  They are now the laughing stock of the world.

Plus this shows us how fucking stupid our government is.  They want us to believe that these evil, ruthless, godless men will someone how get a nuclear weapon on the black market and blow up a good portion of our great nation,  yet they don’t know where to go to get an erection pill?

Give me a fucking break.  Our “elected” officials are nothing more than  rich, arrogant, stupid, pussified, pieces of shit and they should be taken out back, skull fucked and shot at the base of the neck.

If there was a God this would happen but since there isn’t, I’ll settle for an underage sex sting…

Technorati Tags: Afghanistan, Central Intelligence Agency, CIA, Elected Officals, India, Israel, Middle East, Nuclear weapon, Pakistan, Sildenafil, United States Government, Viagra, Washington Post

Tags: Afghanistan, Central Intelligence Agency, CIA, Elected Officals, India, Israel, Middle East, Nuclear weapon, Pakistan, Sildenafil, United States Government, Viagra, Washington Post
Comments (0)

Jesus just made the Christian Right cum in their pants.

Israel moved closer to invading Gaza, saying Thursday it had wrapped up preparations for a broad offensive after Palestinian militants fired about 100 rockets and mortar shells across the border in two days.

Fuck yea baby.  Jews versus Muslims.  Armageddon.  It’s about fucking time Pat Robinson, Jerry Falwell, Rob Parsley, John Hagee, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, John McCain, George Bush, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Rudy Giuliani, and Rush Limbaugh were right.

I want to see chaos.   I want to see Israelis soldiers beat the shit out of innocent Palestinians while suicidal Palestinians blow up innocent Israelis.  I want to see tanks and airplanes flying everywhere blowing shit up. I want to see houses burst into flames and bodies flying through the air.

Why?  Because I’m all for people blowing themselves up in the name of a peaceful, loving god.  Plus I want to see how the Right Wing will act.

I want to see them crowd around their brand new 47-inch LCD TV listening to whoever is on Fox News talk about how this is the end of the world. I want to see religious men struggle to run home with their pants around their ankles while they  masturbate so fast that their dicks start to smoke as they think about the destruction their God is doing.  I want to see female Sunday school teachers knuckle deep in their snatch as they get on their knees to tell God how proud they are of Him and ask Him to kill all those who don’t believe that He is the supreme ruler of the universe.

I want this to happen because I’m going to cum buckets when I see the look on a religious person’s face when he/she finally realize that their fucking God is a fake and they brought this stupid, fucking, petty war on themselves.

Then I hope they kill themselves because they’re worthless pieces of shit.  Stupid fucking cunts…

Technorati Tags: Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney, Fox News, Israel, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Palestinian, Rudy Giuliani, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity

Tags: Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney, Fox News, Israel, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Palestinian, Rudy Giuliani, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity
Comments (0)