Did ya hear the good news? I own a bank now.

The federal government on Sunday night said it would throw its weight toward stabilization of troubled financial-services giant Citigroup Inc. (C) by moving to guarantee $306 billion in troubled assets on the bank’s books, according to a joint statement issued by the Federal Reserve, Treasury Department and Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.

The deal involves Treasury injecting an additional $20 billion in capital into Citigroup. Treasury will charge an 8% interest rate for the first few years, which is higher than the rate charged to other banks participating in the Troubled Asset Relief Program. Citi had already received $25 billion in aid from TARP.

God this is great. I went to sleep last night not owning anything and when I wake up, BOOM, I’m the proud owner of Citigroup.

What should I do first? Buy a car? How about a huge mansion? Oh I know…I’m going to Amsterdam and checking out the ‘Red Light District’.  I’ve always wanted to go but never had the money…until now.

This is so exciting. I still can’t believe I, Ron McKie, own a bank. And my 7th grade teacher said I wouldn’t amount to anything. Fuck you Mr. Northrope. Where’s your bank at jackass?

What? No. He can’t own the same bank I do. That’s impossible.

We all own the bank? Every person who pays taxes? What the fuck. How is that possible?

Do they get a cut of the money like me? No? Good.

Fucking Christ.  We don’t get any money? Only the CEO’s of that bank gets money?  Are you sure?

Goddamnit.

I always get screwed.

Fuck Citigroup and fuck the government. I hope Iran drops their one nuclear bomb on Washington DC and those fucking cunts burn in their 1,000 dollar suits.  Fucking cock swallowing motherfuckers.

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2 Responses to “

Did you hear the good news?

”

1. 5:06 pm, 24 November, 2008 р.
   Happy News | says:

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   [...] today’s news sucks goat balls, I thought I would share some stories that will make you [...]

2. 8:20 pm, 24 November, 2008 р.
   God fucking damnit | says:

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   [...] fucking Lord. If you thought this was bad, you haven’t wait till you see this he U.S. government is prepared to provide more than [...]

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Tags: Amsterdam, Citibank, Citigroup, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, Federal Reserve System, Financial services, Troubled Asset Relief Program, United States Department of the Treasury
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