How many dicks did this man have to suck to become the 25th United States Ambassador to the United Nations because he makes Sarah Palin’s baby look like a genius.

Yesterday, on Fox’s Hannity and Colmes, Iran war hawk John Bolton said that Israel’s recent bombing campaign in Gaza is all the more reason for the United States to bomb Iran now. “So while our focus obviously is on Gaza right now, this could turn out to be a much larger conflict,” he said, adding that “we’re looking at potentially a multi-front war here.”

How can he expect people to take him seriously with a mustache like that? Look at it.  It looks like someone took a gray, fuzzy shit on his face and he doesn’t have the balls to wipe it off.  No wonder he has been calling for war with Iran for so long now, he’s pissed that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has better facial hair than him.  Stupid bastard.

And why is it the only show that will speak to him is Hannity and Colmes?  Is it because everyone else knows how fucking stupid he is? Sorta like Sean Hannity….

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Tags: Fox News, Gaza, Iran, Israel, John Bolton, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Middle East, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, United States, United States Ambassador
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Role playing time. Let’s say you have a 17 year-old daughter and she runs to you crying because she just found out she’s pregnant.  After calming her down by punching her in the face several times because she didn’t make the guy wear a condom or at least pull out, you ask her who the father is and she tells you he’s an 18 year-old high school drop out who’s mom just got arrest on felony drug charges. What do you do?

If you’re Sarah Palin, you pop open a bottle of your favorite beer and celebrate.

The daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave birth to a son this past weekend.

Bristol Palin, 18, gave birth to Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston on Saturday. He weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces.

Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, have five children ranging in age from son Trig, 7 months, to son Track, 19. In between are daughters Willow, 14; Piper, 7; and Bristol.

Why the fuck is Tripp spelled with two p’s?   Is that supposed to be cute?  Are they trying to make the name stand out? And why name him that?   Isn’t there enough people in the family who’s name begins with the letter T? Todd, Track, Trig, and now Tripp.  I’m at a loss of words on how fucking stupid those names are.

Goddamnit I hate babies.  People want to pretend like it’s a miracle when they are born but it isn’t. A dick threw up in a vagina.  That’s it.  Any retard can make a baby.  Watch the movie I Am Sam if you don’t believe me.

Fuck I’m so pissed right now.   Not at the baby.  I’m pretty sure if the baby knew he was going to be born to a 17 year-old mom and her 18 year-old high school drop out fuck buddy, he would have tried to strangle himself with the umbilical cord. No I’m pissed because retards are reproducing.

This is the beginning of the end folks…retards are fucking…Christ this blows….

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Tags: Alaska, Bristol Palin, Executive Branch, GILF, Government, High school, MILF, Red Neck, Sarah Palin, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, United States
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Our government doesn’t like sex in America but they want to spread the love overseas.

In an effort to win over fickle warlords and chieftains in Afghanistan and get information from them, CIA officials are handing out Viagra pills in exchange for their cooperation, the Washington Post reports.

“Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people – whether it’s building a school or handing out Viagra,” an agency operative, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told the Post.

That’s right people, we have spent over one trillion dollars and sacrificed over 4,000 American lives so  men who can’t get it up in the Middle East can fuck.

Jesus Christ.

Do they really think this will help with the “War on Terror”?  Do they think those men are going to come together and say, “Guys, we might have been wrong about America.  They knew our dicks weren’t working and instead of taking away our heroin and forcing us to exercise, like they do to their own people, they’ve decided to give us a pill that allows us to stay hard up to four hours.  And it isn’t that cheap ass Cialis they’re always showing during Monday Night Football.  I say we just stop fight and start fucking.  Who’s with me?”

Our soldiers are fucked and you can except the number of their deaths to go up.  Why?  Because we’ve just told the entire world that the men we are fighting can’t get hard.  Do you have any idea how damaging that is to the male ego?  They are now the laughing stock of the world.

Plus this shows us how fucking stupid our government is.  They want us to believe that these evil, ruthless, godless men will someone how get a nuclear weapon on the black market and blow up a good portion of our great nation,  yet they don’t know where to go to get an erection pill?

Give me a fucking break.  Our “elected” officials are nothing more than  rich, arrogant, stupid, pussified, pieces of shit and they should be taken out back, skull fucked and shot at the base of the neck.

If there was a God this would happen but since there isn’t, I’ll settle for an underage sex sting…

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Tags: Afghanistan, Central Intelligence Agency, CIA, Elected Officals, India, Israel, Middle East, Nuclear weapon, Pakistan, Sildenafil, United States Government, Viagra, Washington Post
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Jesus just made the Christian Right cum in their pants.

Israel moved closer to invading Gaza, saying Thursday it had wrapped up preparations for a broad offensive after Palestinian militants fired about 100 rockets and mortar shells across the border in two days.

Fuck yea baby.  Jews versus Muslims.  Armageddon.  It’s about fucking time Pat Robinson, Jerry Falwell, Rob Parsley, John Hagee, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, John McCain, George Bush, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Rudy Giuliani, and Rush Limbaugh were right.

I want to see chaos.   I want to see Israelis soldiers beat the shit out of innocent Palestinians while suicidal Palestinians blow up innocent Israelis.  I want to see tanks and airplanes flying everywhere blowing shit up. I want to see houses burst into flames and bodies flying through the air.

Why?  Because I’m all for people blowing themselves up in the name of a peaceful, loving god.  Plus I want to see how the Right Wing will act.

I want to see them crowd around their brand new 47-inch LCD TV listening to whoever is on Fox News talk about how this is the end of the world. I want to see religious men struggle to run home with their pants around their ankles while they  masturbate so fast that their dicks start to smoke as they think about the destruction their God is doing.  I want to see female Sunday school teachers knuckle deep in their snatch as they get on their knees to tell God how proud they are of Him and ask Him to kill all those who don’t believe that He is the supreme ruler of the universe.

I want this to happen because I’m going to cum buckets when I see the look on a religious person’s face when he/she finally realize that their fucking God is a fake and they brought this stupid, fucking, petty war on themselves.

Then I hope they kill themselves because they’re worthless pieces of shit.  Stupid fucking cunts…

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Tags: Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney, Fox News, Israel, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Palestinian, Rudy Giuliani, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity
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Since it’s Jesus’ birthday, I thought I would share with you a list of people I hope die in an electrical fire as they sing O Come, All Ye Faithful.

Bill Clinton

Hillary Clinton

Sean Hannity

Alan Comes

Pope Benedict

Sarah Palin

Chris Berman

Kurt Herbstreit

Zac Efron

Stephenie Meyer

The creator, cast and crew of Grey’s Anatomy

My 5th grade teacher

The guy who fucked my girlfriend in 11th grade while I was in the other room

My 11th grade girlfriend

Everyone who works on Wall Street

George H. Bush

George W. Bush

Laura Bush

Nancy Reagan

Ronald Regan’s corpse

Rush Limbaugh

Bill O’Reilly

Everyone who works for the DEA

Miley Cyrus

Bill Ray Cyrus

The creators of Real World/Road Rules and Real World vs Road Rules

People on Facebook who update their status on Facebook with “it’s almost the weekend” when it is only Wednesday

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Tags: Bailout, Bill Clinton, Bill O'Reilly, Facebook, George H. Bush, George W. Bush, Grey's Anatomy, Hillary Clinton, History, Laura Bush, Miley Cryus, Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, United States, Wall Street
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I honestly thought Barack Obama was going to change Washington and that scared me the shit out of me. I didn’t know what would happen if a politician followed through on their promises.  Would the world stop turning?  Would there be peace on Earth?  Would I get laid more?  Lucky for me he’s just like the rest of those slimy pussies.

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates is asking many of the Bush administration’s 250 Pentagon political appointees to remain on the job until the incoming Obama administration finds replacements — a move designed to prevent a leadership vacuum with U.S. troops engaged in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Washington Times reported Tuesday.

The unusual request ensures that key policy positions will not be left to “acting” subordinates as typically occurs when political appointees are directed to resign during a presidential transition, according to the Times.

Man, Barack Obama fooled a ton of people. He made millions off of false promises to stupid people.  He will continue the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.  He will continue to bailout worthless companies with our money. He will continue to do the same stupid shit that George Bush has been doing for the past 8 years.

And I love it.  It’s about time a black man fucked this country up.  At least this man will sound intelligent giving a speech tricking us into a war with Iran and Russia. I can’t wait until he does…

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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Iran, Iraq, Iraq War, Presidency of George W. Bush, Russia, United States, War
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Today’s post is written by a wonderful author named  Aoi who writes at Politics By Satire. If you don’t check out her site, I will hunt each and every one of you down and cock/cunt punch you so hard that your unborn child will cry.

There is no fundamental theory of economics. No one knows how the economy works. A Ph.D. in economics doesn’t mean you can predict the economy. You might as well have a Ph.D. in fortune-telling. The two “sciences” are about as accurate. Both make predictions, and once in a while they are right, in the same way that a broken clock is right twice a day.

But amazingly, economists get six-figure salaries, and some make millions per year. And without every being right about anything. Imagine if other industries were held to the same low standard of performance.

• Airline pilots who occasionally manage to land an airplane
• Surgeons who once in a while don’t kill a patient
• Computer programmers whose software works once per month

All these people would be fired immediately. Or prosecuted. Or even lynched. But economists have created a mystique around themselves similar to what psychics have. Never mind that even the allegedly great Alan Greenspan recently admitted that he was essentially wrong for his entire career.

Despite their dismal track record, many economists are still claiming to have the perfect solution to the current crisis. I guess they magicked it up from their textbook Economic Spells and Incantations acquired while studying at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Economic Theory. And they claim to have the only workable idea for rescuing the economy, an idea that not coincidentally guarantees them even bigger salaries and fatter bonuses.

The latest report on TARP and executive pay at banks that received bailout money neatly proves that currently economists and similar experts can fail miserably and still be grossly overpaid. Some of the salaries are more than a typical person makes in 20 years, and the bonuses are often double or even triple what an average person makes in a lifetime.

So I want two things. First, a plan for economists in which pay matches performance. Of course, economists would then go unpaid, and that would free up a lot of money for people who actually do useful work.

Second, I want a job in which I can be wrong all the time and still get paid huge gobs of cash. But since in my line of work, things tend to explode, that is to say explode at the wrong time, if I make a mistake, I’m not likely to get that deal.

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Tags: Alan Greenspan, Doctorate, Economic, Economists, Kids and Teens, People, People and Society, Social Sciences, United States
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