How can Sean Hannity say that the main stream media is ignoring things about the Obama administration when he’s reporting on them?  Isn’t that the same as saying I don’t sleep with hookers while I pay for sex?  And how can Hannity say that the main stream media is bias?  Does he not know what the fuck comes out of his mouth?

And what’s up with Rebecca Hagelin? When Sean Hannity introduced her I was thinking to myself, “Damn, that old lady has some nice tits.” But when she began to talk I couldn’t concentrate anymore because I was afraid that her head was going to fall off.  How much does that cunt’s head weigh?  It was always tilting to her left.  Hanging there.  I just wanted Sean Hannity to stick his hands through the screen and fix it for her so I could get back to jerking off to her tits.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and yes….I had it on mute and a sheet covering half of the TV so I wouldn’t lose my erection looking at Hannity.  I always make sure to take the appropriate steps to maximize my masturbation time…

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Tags: Fox News, Fucked up head, Great tits, Main Stream Media, Rebecca Hagelin, Sean Hannity
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Because he’s whining like a worthless bitch.

While President Obama’s special envoy tries to broker peace in the Middle East and the White House dangles an olive branch before a near-nuclear Iran, a new foreign policy confrontation is in the making — with the Vatican.

After he ended a ban last week on federal funding to international groups that perform or promote abortions, Obama is taking heat from the Roman Catholic Church, that political powerhouse based overseas.

“Among the many good things that he could have done, Barack Obama instead chose the worst,” said Monsignor Elio Sgreccia, a top official with the Vatican’s Pontifical Academy for Life.

“If this is one of President Obama’s first acts, I have to say, in all due respect, that we’re heading quickly toward disappointment,” said Monsignor Rino Fisichella, who heads the Academy.

Get the fuck out of here with that shit.  The worst he could do?  The Catholic Church has the balls to say that?  After the boy fucking issue? They honestly think they can sit there and tell Barack Obama what to do?

Hey Pope whatever the fucking number you are now, how about you do something worthwhile with your power instead of  complaining like that hooker who didn’t want to do anal with me last night?  Like changing the churches stance on condoms so all those horny bastards in Africa can stop spreading AIDS.  Or how about you kick out all of those child fuckers from the church instead of relocating them.  Or how about you allow homeless people to live in those big fucking churches you build instead of on the streets.

I’m sick and tired of people talking about the Pope as if he’s the smartest man in the world. Look at that fucking picture.  He looks retarded.  I don’t believe in God but if I did, I think He’d pick someone who didn’t invoke the image of that special kid in second grade who pissed his pants every time he looked in the mirror to be His go to guy on Earth.

This guy is a fucking joke. He sits around all day in white robes and wears a stupid ass hat and tells people that God has spoken to him.  What a bunch of shit.  If I tell people that God spoke to me, I’d be in a fucking nut house.  Yet this stupid old cock has millions and millions of followers.  How is that possible?

The sole reason why the Pope cares about abortion is if people do it, it cuts into the Catholic Church’s supply of little boys.  So fuck the Catholic Church and their stupid fucking views. Maybe if there aren’t anymore kids to fuck, the Catholic Church will have to reverse their stupid fucking stance on masturbation…

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Tags: Barack Obama, Catholic Church, Fox News, Fuck the Pope, Pope, Republicans
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…you just made me shit myself.

As President Obama pushes for the closure of Guantanamo Bay prison, the debate over where to house the terror detainees being held there is heating up.

An exclusive video of a former Gitmo detainee’s martyrdom tape, obtained by FOX News, is a reminder of the concerns that terror suspects — who have been held but released from Guantanamo Bay — are increasingly returning to the fight against the United States and its allies.

Abdallah Ali al-Ajmi was transferred back to his home country of Kuwait after his release from Guantanamo in 2005. Last April he blew himself up in a homicide attack that killed 12 people in Mosul, Iraq.

Al-Ajmi, known in Guantanamo as Detainee 220, made his martyrdom tape before the attack.

“In the name of Allah, most compassionate, most merciful and prayers and peace be upon our Prophet,” al-Ajmi says in the video. “I thank Allah, Lord of the Worlds, who freed me from Guantanamo prison and, after we were tortured, connected me with the Islamic State of Iraq [ISI]. And it is the gift of Allah to follow the path of this nation, the ISI.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  Hold up now.  This guy blew himself up in April 2005?  What the fuck Fox News?  Why didn’t you mention that somewhere in the picture?  You made it seem like this guy blew himself up today.

Oh..I get it. You’re trying to scare me.   Make me think that the moment we release those people from Guantanamo Bay  they’re going to start blowing themselves up like fireworks, right?  Fox News, you almost had me,  you tricky, slimy, dirty twat, you.

I mean this guy wouldn’t have decided to blow himself up because he was tortured, right?   I mean I’m sure he wanted to be tortured so he could get some street cred.  Yeah I know, blowing yourself up isn’t cool anymore.  To be part of the cool gang, you have to go to Gitmo and get tortured.  Because everyone knows that unless you’re tortured at Gitmo you’re living a pretty sweet life there.  You get free room and board.  Free clothes.  Clean air.  It’s a great place to be forced to live at.

Fuck you Fox News.  I know the main stream media isn’t telling us the whole truth but the shit that comes out of your mouth would embarrass Satan.  What’s worse is that people out there believe you.  They listen to the worthless bags of cum that you employee and honestly think they’re well informed.

Goddamnit.

I don’t know what has hurt our society more, reality television or you.  Wait…who the fuck am I kidding? Reality TV wasn’t the driving force behind having governor bush steal the election twice.  I can’t wait till some deranged person walks into your building and starts shooting at everything that moves.  Hopefully the person will do it while Glenn Beck is live on air…

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Tags: Barack Obama, Fox News, Fox News sucks, Guantanamo Bay, President Obama, Someone please blow them up, Terrorist
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Every once in a while I like to link to posts I think are kick ass. Today is one of those days.

A World of Progress writes about the illegal wiretapping that governor bush did while in office and how she had some readers who enjoyed her blog from the Pentagon, CIA and the NSA.  She’s lucky…I’ve only had DOT come to my site.

The good people over at Politicus.Us talk about the Federal Reserve and how it came about.   Thank god I don’t have any money for them to steal or I’d be pissed at how bad they’ve fucked up our country.

Politics By Satire talks about the hiring process over at the NSA.   My dreams where crushed when I learned that they don’t hire people who illegally download videos.  I’d love to pay for my porn but I’m just too cheap.

Pterodactly Puke talks about John Thain and his 35,000 dollar shitter.  I value my ass as much as the next guy but at 35,000 dollars?  Jesus Christ, this guy must be shitting gold.

If you don’t like any of these sites then you’re fucking retarded and I hope you shit your bed tonight….

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Tags: Democrats, Federal Reserve, Government, John Thain, NSA, Republicans, White House
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Goddamnit…I hate my state.

A law being proposed by a state Senator in South Carolina that would make it a felony to use profanity in a public forum, whether written or spoken (so assume the internet is included). Punishment could include fines up to $5000 or prison sentences up to 5 years in length.

This guy is a fucking idiot.  What was his thought process when he introduced this bill?  Why didn’t someone pull him aside and say, “Hey Robert, don’t you think it would be better to try and pass a law that helped out the schools or our health care or try to get more jobs in our state or, I got it, why don’t you pass a law that will let us take down that fucking rebel flag from atop the capital?”

Nobody told him that because everyone is fucking stupid.  They honestly think they can control cuss words?  These fuckers can’t even control the budget.

But it gets worse than that.  There’s a club in Southern California that was started by a 14 year-old boy and it’s now become popular with adults.  It’s called the No Cussing Club.  That’s right.  The No Cussing Club.  They have a website and everything.  The club even has a fucking motto:

I won’t cuss, swear, use bad language, or tell dirty jokes. Clean language is the sign of intelligence and always demands respect. I will use my language to uplift, encourage and motivate. I will Leave People Better Than I Found Them!

Jesus fucking Christ.  What’s wrong with kids today?  I remember the first time I cussed, I shat my pants with excitement.  It freed up my vocabulary.  Instead of telling a kid to “Shut up, you stupid fat butt”, I was screaming “Fuck you, you retarded fat ass”…and it felt good.

But now we have big, fat, pussies for kids and I blame their big, fat, pussy parents.  I mean, what do you except when pussified parents reproduce?  Tough, mature, kids?  Please.  You get kids who make stupid ass clubs when they’re young and pointless fucking laws when they’re old.

Christ these people are stupid people.  If you don’t like cuss words, don’t talk to people who cuss.  Or you could just walk the other way.  Or you could  grow a fucking pair and tell them to shut the fuck up.

Goddamnit.

I hope both of these assholes get into an accident and are turn into slobbering vegetables and the only person who can take care of them is some old, wrinkly, bald fuck who has a serious case of tourettes syndrome and shouts, “GODDAMNIT MY ASSHOLE FEELS LIKE IT’S ON FUCKING FIRE” every three minutes.

Bunch of pathetic cock strokers….

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Tags: Fucking pussies, Government, I hate little kids, McKay Hatch, No Cussing Club, Robert Ford, Senator, South Carolina
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This man…he’s…he’s fucking retarded.  There’s no other way to explain it.  He’s a goddamn retard.   I mean who the fuck cares if Barack Obama isn’t sworn in on the Bible?  Does Glenn Beck think that if Barack Obama swears in on the Bible that he will be forced to follow the Constitution?   Because we all know how well that worked with George Bush and Dick Cheney.

The Bible is nothing but a giant book and it won’t protect jackshit.  It’s worthless.  It’s merely a prop used to help those stupid fucking “religious” people sleep better at night.  Want to know how I know that the Bible holds no magical powers over those that place their hand over it and swear to it?  I’ve been doing a little experiment.

At 12:01 am, on January 1st, I placed my right hand on the Bible, raised my left hand and swore that I would not wipe my ass with pages torn from the Bible.  Guess what?  I fucking lied.  Each time I take a shit, I rip a page out of the Bible and wipe my ass…and holy fucking Christ does it feel good.

But you want to know what happens?

Not a goddamn thing.  Nothing.  I haven’t been struck down.  I haven’t developed boils on my ass.   My asshole hasn’t suddenly disappeared.   Not one fucking thing has happened to me since I’ve started this experiment.  And you want to know why?

Because the Bible is just a stupid, fucking book.  That’s it.  A work of fiction that has had many authors add fucked up stories to it so that stupid people will believe it and be easier to control.

So Glenn Beck, would you please shut the fuck up?  Because every time your retarded ass says something, you make that retard from Something About Mary seem like a fucking genius.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Bible, Fake, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck is a fucking idiot, God, I hope Glenn Beck dies
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You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

President Obama retook his oath of office Wednesday after Chief Justice John Roberts flubbed while delivering it at Tuesday’s inauguration.

The do-over was aimed at dispelling any confusion that might arise from Tuesday’s take — in which “faithfully” was said out of sequence — and erase any question that Obama is legally the president.

“But the oath appears in the Constitution itself. And out of an abundance of caution, because there was one word out of sequence, Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath a second time,” the statement read.

Jesus fucking Christ.  We’ve got some stupid people in this goddamn country. The man said one word wrong and now people are worried about the Constitution?  Where were these defenders of the Constitution when it was getting bent over and double penetrated by George Bush and Dick Cheney?  Where were the defenders of the Constitution when the Patriot Act was pass? Where were the defenders of the Constitution when warrantless wiretapping was made legal? Where were the defenders of the Constitution when our leaders admitted to torturing prisoners?

I guess the defenders of the Constitution were too busy watching how Brittany Spears treated her kids and researching if Barack Obama was a Muslim. Even goddamn “reporters” are talking about this stupid shit.

Fox News anchor Chris Wallace said: “We’re wondering here whether or not Barack Obama in fact is the president of the United States. They had a kind of garbled oath. It’s just conceivable that this will end up going to the courts.”

What the fuck Chris?  What the fuck?  Shouldn’t you be reporting something more important than this?  Like, and this is just off the top of my head, where all the bailout money has gone, why are we going to give banks another bailout; what is happening to Bernie Madoff; the Supreme Court now allowing illegally obtained evidence in court; what the auto industry is doing with all that money we gave them; the slaughtering of Palestinian people in Gaza; and is that your real fucking hair? Any of those stories are more important to the people than this stupid shit but you don’t give a fuck, do you?

I hope that one day while you’re giving a report about a protesting midget clown who doesn’t have a left leg, your fucking fake hair catches on hair and the flames burn your pale, droopy, fucking face off…you stupid, worthless twat.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Constitution, Full of shit, John Roberts, Oath, President, Stupid white people
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