Tue 20 Jan, 2009
Today marks the day that Barack Obama gets sworn in as President of the United States and since this huge jerk-off festival is costing taxpayers 150 million dollars, I feel like I have a say in what goes on. So here is a list of things that better happen today or the next time I travel up to Washington, I’m going to leave a flaming plastic bag of my shit on the front steps of the White House.
- Barack Obama wearing an all white business suit that makes P. Diddy jealous.
- Sean Hannity telling Barack Obama’s kids that Santa Claus isn’t real, then licking their face so he can taste their tears.
- Barack Obama executing whoever hired Garth Brooks to sing on Monday.
- Garth Brooks being beheaded by Lil Wayne and Jack Black.
- A gay transvestite Puerto Rican midget punching Rick Warren in the nuts then announcing they’re lovers.
- Nancy Pelosi stripped of her Speaker of the House status and pushed down the Capital steps.
- Beyonce giving Barack Obama a lap dance while Jay-z weeps in a corner.
- Dick Cheney getting stabbed in the heart by a homeless WWII veteran.
- The announcement that marijuana is now legal.
- George Bush dying in plane crash.
- Bill O’Reilly getting caught on his knees tossing Barney Frank’s salad.
- Glenn Beck getting hit by a bus.
- News that the new bailout money will go directly to the American people.
- And…Barack Obama agreeing to deport my old computer science teacher because he’s a dick.
7 Responses to “Things I want to see happen today
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Tags: Bailout, Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Captial Hill, Fox News, Inauguration, Nancy Pelosi, Rick Warren, Sean Hannity, Washington D.CComments (7)
WhatsYourPlace » Blog Archive » Obamas Road to Presidency says:
[...] Things I want to see happening today [...]
RE Ausetkmt says:
WE gave you a kick today – at badgals-radio.com
go check it,
~RE
At Last.. | BadGalsRadio - RootsRock since 99' says:
[...] Things I want to see happen today [...]
Majase Cyc says:
About half of that list is enough to give a man wet dreams; the other half already made me come; twice.
The new White House website should get a copy of that dude. Barack is claiming all posts will be read before any bill gets signed, so go for it!
Phuck Politics says:
@Ausetkmt – I liked that post. Thanks for including me in it.
@Majase Cyc- That list made me cum buckets but since none of it happened…flaming bag of poo time….
Steve says:
Iʼm confused.. how in the fuck can 2 million blacks get into Washington DC in subzero temps in 1 day when 200,000 couldnʼt get out of New Orleans at 85 degrees
with four days notice.
WTF?
Phuck Politics says:
@Steve – If you’re going to be that guy who makes people feel uncomfortable by telling stolen racist jokes, please steal from someone funnier than Carol Carter.