Fri 23 Jan, 2009
This man…he’s…he’s fucking retarded. There’s no other way to explain it. He’s a goddamn retard. I mean who the fuck cares if Barack Obama isn’t sworn in on the Bible? Does Glenn Beck think that if Barack Obama swears in on the Bible that he will be forced to follow the Constitution? Because we all know how well that worked with George Bush and Dick Cheney.
The Bible is nothing but a giant book and it won’t protect jackshit. It’s worthless. It’s merely a prop used to help those stupid fucking “religious” people sleep better at night. Want to know how I know that the Bible holds no magical powers over those that place their hand over it and swear to it? I’ve been doing a little experiment.
At 12:01 am, on January 1st, I placed my right hand on the Bible, raised my left hand and swore that I would not wipe my ass with pages torn from the Bible. Guess what? I fucking lied. Each time I take a shit, I rip a page out of the Bible and wipe my ass…and holy fucking Christ does it feel good.
But you want to know what happens?
Not a goddamn thing. Nothing. I haven’t been struck down. I haven’t developed boils on my ass. My asshole hasn’t suddenly disappeared. Not one fucking thing has happened to me since I’ve started this experiment. And you want to know why?
Because the Bible is just a stupid, fucking book. That’s it. A work of fiction that has had many authors add fucked up stories to it so that stupid people will believe it and be easier to control.
So Glenn Beck, would you please shut the fuck up? Because every time your retarded ass says something, you make that retard from Something About Mary seem like a fucking genius.
23 Responses to “Who the fuck listens to this man?
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Tags: Barack Obama, Bible, Fake, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck is a fucking idiot, God, I hope Glenn Beck diesComments (23)
just bob says:
Amen brother. You’re preaching to the choir on Glenn Dreck. Complete raving lunatic.
Phuck Politics says:
@Just Bob – And yet people fucking listen to him. I don’t understand it.
The BoBo says:
Actually, what matters is the oath. I really don’t care if it’s sworn over the bible or not either. He can swear the oath over a comic book or playboy for all I care. What matters is that he swears his allegiance to this country to and swears to protect and defend our constitution against all enemies foreign and DOMESTIC (like, you know, those idiot congressmen and senators)
The BoBos last blog post..A sign of things to come?
Phuck Politics says:
@Bobo – I agree. Leave the swearing in on the Bible alone and let this man get on with his duties.
stunatra says:
George Carlin is God and I own all 3 of his bibles!
stunatras last blog post..President Obama
Phuck Politics says:
@Stunatra – I would have cum buckets if Obama said the oath over “When will Jesus bring the pork chops”.
Majase Cyc says:
I could have sworn I heard rumors last year that they were within weeks of canceling Beck’s show–he must have found enough time to stop babbling and start snowballing the CEO’s load.
Franks and beans!
David says:
Well, Glenn Dreck is on Fox (fairly unbalanced)…need I say more?
Phuck Politics says:
@Majase Cyc – Damn you. Now I can’t get the picture of Glenn Beck on his knees, taking load after load from his bosses right in his mouth. And in my mind he’s smiling the whole time…just like real life….
@David – Fox News was slightly unbalanced with Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity but adding Glenn Beck to the mix…what the fuck where they thinking?
David Leary says:
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! I’m glad somebody said it that wasn’t full of the fear of God if you ‘dis’ the bible. Really, that’s all it is, a book of stories passed way down the line before pen went to paper. The Torah and Koran are proclaimed story books too, but the Jews and Muslims aren’t as hung up about it as the Christians (you know it takes a lot to get over the fear and guilt the church teaches its’ flocks). Rush and Glen need a severe reality check! What has the Bible done for them that they can put their hands on and attribute it solely to the ‘book’. People are starting to come around since having Jesus pushed down their throats since Ron Reagan brought the ‘Religious Right’ into politics for the Jesus votes. What a tool!
Thanks for your insightful essay though, I enjoyed it immensely!
Phuck Politics says:
@David Leary – I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Instead of Rush and Glenn getting severed a reality check, I hope they both die in a single car accident driving home drunk from a gay bar.
David Leary says:
That would be impossible! You are actually unable to operate a motor vehicle doing a Conservative Talk Show 69! That’s where they shove their heads so far up each others assholes that they can accurately state what religiously moral meal they ate the night before. Didn’t you ever wonder why Glenn has short hair and Rush’s is greasy looking? Hmmmm? I say we super-glue them in that position so the world can see them for what they really are…shitheads! Then we drive them onto the freeway!
Phuck Politics says:
@David Leary – That’s how I know we live in a stupid, fucking world. When those two cockcatchers say stupid, fucking things and retards love it; while people like John Lennon, Jesus, Ghandi, MLK, Abe Lincoln, JFK, Robert Kennedy, and Malcolm X get killed for trying to tell people to love one another.
It blows my mind.
Heresy Today says:
An interesting take on the Bible, original? No. But interesting take in an angry sorta way I spose…
Heresy Todays last blog post..In God We Trust…
Phuck Politics says:
@Heresy Today – I’d be lying if I said that I was the only one in the history of the world that realized the Bible was full of shit…
I wish someone would blow up Fox News... | says:
[...] I don’t know what has hurt our society more, reality television or you. Wait…who the fuck am I kidding? Reality TV wasn’t the driving force behind having governor bush steal the election twice. I can’t wait till some deranged person walks into your building and starts shooting at everything that moves. Hopefully the person will do it while Glenn Beck is live on air… [...]
Scott says:
You guys really sound pathetic.
Phuck Politics says:
@Scott – Thanks for the solid comment buddy.
Alucard says:
You know why slam Beck when he is the only one telling the truth. I hate how so meany ppl love Obama that they cant even tell he is fucking everyone ever. Now in 3 years and the damage is done u will look back and slap your self. fuck that black lier.
Phuck Politics says:
@Alucard – Your comment hurt my head.
Billy says:
I totally agree…Glenn Beck is a total raving fucking moron. I’ve hated Rush for years, but never really paid much attention to Glenn Beck-fuck until recently. I mean does anyone even take him seriously? He is just seriously a raving lunatic on his show…The right wingers are making such assholes of themselves. It will be the 90s all over again, where they can’t really find anything that the president is doing wrong, so they will nitpick retarded shit over and over again. I hope the Republican party continues with this trend. Glenn Beck, Rush, Sarah Palin, etc…as their voices because then hopefully they will continue to lose all credibility and not be able to get anyone elected for about the next 40 years or so.
I am glad I found this post tonight. I hadn’t caught this about him ranting about GASP!!! there was no bible used in the swearing in oath. Who gives a flying fuck about that? Like you pointed out, swearing on the bible worked so well to protect the Constitution with Dubbya and Fat Bastard’s administration.
Phuck Politics says:
@Billy – I’ve hated Rush for years, but never really paid much attention to Glenn Beck-fuck until recently. I mean does anyone even take him seriously?
Pretty much everybody in the South takes this man seriously. They watch his show, listen to his radio program, and read his books.
It’s one of the many reasons why I hate the South.
chris says:
I completely understand why he has his own show… He is on fox news and they are “fair and balanced”