You protect us Americans.

The new Afghan war strategy unveiled Friday by US President Barack Obama goes beyond “bullets and bombs” to a plan to overhaul international aid to Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Dismissing past aid efforts as ill-organized and underfunded, it calls for a civilian surge in Afghanistan to match the military one as well as for a 7.5 billion dollar development plan and special economic zones for Pakistan.

Whether you want to admit it or not, the United States came under attack on 9-11-01, and those responsible live in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq.  We cannot allow those 3,000 Americans to die in vain.  We must show the world that attacks on American citizens will not be tolerated.

But why stop there?  Americans are under attack every day.  To be safe, we need to spend  money on everything that’s trying to attack and kill us.  We need to spend:

• 2.1 billion dollars to fight alcohol since 85,000 Americans die from it each year.
• 3.2 billion dollars to fight tobacco  since 435,000 Americans die from it each year.
• 11.9 billion dollars to fight choking since 2,800 Americans die from it each year.
• 57.2 billion dollars to fight cancer since 565,650 Americans die from it each year.
• 9.1 billion dollars to fight murder since 16,137 Americans die from it each year.
• 6.9 billion dollars to fight rape since 94,635 Americans are attacked by it each year.
• 1.8 billion dollars to fight food poisoning since 76 million Americans are attacked by it each year.
• 1.9 billion dollars to fight chronic masturbation syndrome since thousands of lonely teenagers are attacked by it each year.
• 2.89 billion dollars to fight dry vagina syndrome since hundreds of old American women are attacked by it each year.
• 4.9 billion dollars to fight gayness since 957,200 heterosexual marriages are attacked by it each year.
• 3.26 billion dollars to fight those fucking bums who always attacked me for money each year.
• 10.32 billion dollars to fight dwarfism because tiny people always attack me each year.

With President Obama’s leadership and Congress’ funding, Americans will never have to worry about being attacked and killed again.

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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Iraq, Money, Pakistan, War
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Robert Gibbs’ fat ass couldn’t give a straight answer.  What’s so fucking hard with saying, “President Obama doesn’t believe that the legalization of marijuana is a good idea for the economy.  He believes alcohol and tobacco are healthier alternatives, and marijuana would do more harm than good.  Sure Jeffrey A. Miron has  said that the legalization of marijuana would save the federal government 44 billion dollars per year while states would make 33 billion dollars a year in taxes, but what the hell does he know?  He’s just a senior lecturer in economics at Harvard University – the fuckin’ nerd.

Look – as you all know, the President smoked marijuana in college, as did the two previous Presidents, but that doesn’t make it right.  Marijuana is an awful, dangerous, evil drug and shouldn’t be used – period.   That’s why the President is against legalization.  He knows that we need to keep it out of the hands of our children.  Okay, I know some of you are going to ask me about the studies that say it’s easier for teens to purchase marijuana than alcohol, but what do they know – they’re just studies.  It’s not like they’re opinion polls – so they don’t really matter.

Again, this is why the President is against legalizing marijuana, and that’s why he’s going to give 700 million dollars to Mexico.  Now some people will say that the American people could use that money, but can you really put a price tag on safety?  No – no you can’t.  That’s why President Obama is thinking about sending soldiers to the border.

Now I know the ACLU and other civil liberty groups aren’t going to like US soldiers on the ground, and I’m sure they’re going to say it’s unconstitutional but – *chuckle* – remember, the Patriot Act is still in affect, and Attorney General Eric Holder recently called the drug cartels a ‘national security threat’ – and if the Attorney General says we’re under attack and some amendments of the Constitution need to be repealed in the name of National Security, who are we to argue?

Alright – now that I answered this fat guy’s annoying question, who’s next?”

See, that wasn’t so hard – was it?

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Tags: Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Legalize it already, Marijuana, Mexico, Robert Gibbs
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Because it’s Guest Post Friday.  Who’s the guest?  My friend Steve over at Stunatra’s Place.   Visit his site or your whorish mother will give you herpes.

66% Say Obama Likely To Raise Taxes On Those Earning Less Than $250,000 A Year.Two-thirds of U.S. voters (66%) think President Obama is likely to raise taxes on people who less than $250,000 per year. That figure includes 47% who say he is Very
Likely to do so. A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found that just 18% doubt that will happen

This comes as no surprise, does it?  Democrats usually tax and spend and spend some more while Republicans cut taxes, and then borrow the money from China to spend.   So much for fiscal responsibility.   At the rate we’re going, taxes will have to be increased on most Americans, like the 47% of the people polled said, and the spending will have to be drastically decreased as well.  Now that would be fiscal responsibility.  But it won’t happen because neither party cares about fiscal responsibility.  I am willing to bet that taxes will be increased for everyone who makes over $40k a year.

The 18% that doubt Obama would do such a thing must be the Obamabots.  The Obamabots eat up whatever Obama says and think he’s the second coming of Christ or something.  There’s no way in hell  Obama could do any wrong.   And if he does, they will make excuses for him or justify his actions in some way.  Which reminds me of a brief conversation I had with a friend of mine, who happens to be an Obamabot.  He gets a hard-on whenever Obama shows his face on the TV or wherever, like I’m sure most Obamabots do.  I informed him of Obama’s plans of making our veterans pay for their own service related injuries.

(Well it might not be his plan, but I am pissed at him for even thinking of putting such a plan on the table).

So anyway, my friend justified this “plan” by saying, “Well, you guys don’t have conscription…so if the people sign up to go into harm’s way then they should have to pay if they get hurt…plain and simple.  Makes sense what he’s doin’ then.”

Makes sense?

In what world are you living in?  Our soldiers are putting their lives on the line to protect this country.  I think they’ve paid enough.  Don’t you?  Well, my friend doesn’t agree. I don’t think I’ve ever been so pissed at my friend in the time that I’ve known him.  It is worthy to note that he is not an American, but this just goes to show that the insanity of the Obamabots has no end.

When will the Obamabots realize that Obama is just another asshole politician?  I am tired of the ass-kissing and hearing about their hard-ons.  I don’t give a shit if you like Obama.  You can like Obama, I don’t care.  What I don’t like is the justification of his bad decisions.  But I guess they will love Obama regardless of what he does.  I’m waiting for the day that he does something to piss them off.  Now that will be fun.  Then the honeymoon will officially be over.  Or not.  They’ll probably kiss his ass regardless.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Guest Post Friday, High Five Jesus
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I’m pretty sure you’re wrong on this one Hillary.

The United States shares the blame for Mexican drug trafficking and the attendant violence that has killed thousands in the past year alone, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Wednesday.

“Our insatiable demand for illegal drugs fuels the drug trade,” she said en route to Mexico City, according to pool reports.

I find it a little hypocritical that your stupid ass says something like this when you clearly used drugs when you were younger.  I mean Jesus Christ, look at that fucking picture of Bill and you.  Look at that goofy grin on your face.  And those glasses – you’re stoned out of your goddamn mind.

I guess since you’re the Secretary of State you have to say stupid shit like this.  But fuck you for trying to place the blame on us.

All the government has to do is legalize all drugs and this retarded problem goes away.  But no, the government can’t do that because it would mean they lost this stupid fucking war.  And if there’s one thing our government hates more than helping its citizens, it’s admitting defeat.  So if you’re looking for someone to blame about this goddamn problem, blame the fucking government.

Because of the government, we have the highest prison population in the world.  Because of the government, hardworking Americans are turned into criminals for smoking a goddamn plant.  Because of the government, Americans are forced to buy the buds of a beautiful plant from some creepy drug dealer instead of going to a local dispensary.  Because of the government, drug cartels are becoming more powerful.  Because of the government, we’re spending hundreds of billions of dollars we don’t have to fight a war we’re never going to win.

So fuck you, you creepy old bitch.  I’m about to go supply my local drug cartel by buying an ounce of the stickiest of the ickiest.  And I’m going to take a huge bong hit in your honor – you stupid whore.

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Tags: Bill Clintion, CNN, Hillary Clinton, Legalize the shit already, Marijuana, Mexico, War on Drugs
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I know everyone is talking about Timothy Geithner’s new banking plan and how it’s a rehash of George Bush’s “Trash for Cash” plan, but not me.  I don’t want to talk about that stupid shit.  I want to talk to about how we got in this mess, and to do that I’m going to take you on a magical trip back in time.  Where are we going?  We’re going back to 1999.

You remember 1999 right?  Will Smith was on top of the Billboards, Star Wars: Episode I was on top of the Box Office, and America was on top of the world.  It was a magical time where people were making millions of dollars because of the internet, and the nation was in an uproar over Bill Clinton getting a blow job in the Oval Office.

Goddammit I miss that time.

Well what’s so special about 1999?  This:

Congress approved landmark legislation today that opens the door for a new era on Wall Street in which commercial banks, securities houses and insurers will find it easier and cheaper to enter one another’s businesses.

The measure, considered by many the most important banking legislation in 66 years, was approved in the Senate by a vote of 90 to 8 and in the House tonight by 362 to 57. The bill will now be sent to the president, who is expected to sign it, aides said. It would become one of the most significant achievements this year by the White House and the Republicans leading the 106th Congress.

What legislation is this?  What could’ve possibly brought Democrats and Republicans together?  Did they finally agree to help out the poor?  Did they finally decide to help the homeless?   Did they finally decided to become more like Jesus and help the sick?

Fuck no.

They came together to repeal the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933.  What’s the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933?

The original idea behind Glass-Steagall was that separation between bankers and brokers would reduce the potential conflicts of interest that were thought to have contributed to the speculative stock frenzy before the Depression.

I don’t know what the fuck that means, but I trust Congress.  I know they wouldn’t fuck me over.  Let’s see what our elected officials  had to say about this historic legislation.

”The world changes, and we have to change with it,” said Senator Phil Gramm of Texas, who wrote the law that will bear his name along with the two other main Republican sponsors, Representative Jim Leach of Iowa and Representative Thomas J. Bliley Jr. of Virginia. ”We have a new century coming, and we have an opportunity to dominate that century the same way we dominated this century. Glass-Steagall, in the midst of the Great Depression, came at a time when the thinking was that the government was the answer. In this era of economic prosperity, we have decided that freedom is the answer.”

Senator Phil Gramm – where have I heard that name before?  I know it sounds familiar.  Wasn’t he somebody’s top financial adviser this past election?  I know he was, but who’s?  Goddammit, it’s on the tip of my tongue – wait, I know – he was John McCain’s financial adviser.  Yeah.  This was the cunt who said America was a nation of whiners.  What a fucking dick.

But who gives a fuck about what Phil Gramm has to say?  I don’t.  What I give a fuck about is what the Treasury Secretary had to say about this law, since he is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt.

”Today Congress voted to update the rules that have governed financial services since the Great Depression and replace them with a system for the 21st century,” Treasury Secretary Lawrence H. Summers said. ”This historic legislation will better enable American companies to compete in the new economy.”

Again, another name that sounds familiar.  Lawrence Summers…Lawrence Summers.   It rings a bell, and I’m getting this image of a smug, fat, no chin, white asshole, but I just can’t quite put my finger on it – wait a minute.  I know who this guy is.  This guy is Director of the White House’s National Economic Council for President Barack Obama.

Well suck my dick and shove a finger up my ass.  The two candidates running for office last year were getting financial advice from the people who caused this fucking mess.  And now one of them is the Director of the White House’s National Economic Council.

There had to be a member of Congress or someone in President Clinton’s administration that stood up for the American people, and said this was a bad idea.   Let’s go, someone please stand up for the people and restore our faith in the government.

”The concerns that we will have a meltdown like 1929 are dramatically overblown,” said Senator Bob Kerrey, Democrat of Nebraska.

Goddammit. How the fuck did this a child killing motherfucker get elected to the Senate?

Fuck this shit.

No wonder our country is so fucked up.   We had a dumbass, a fatass, and a child killer making these goddamn laws.  I hope all these motherfuckers die from a massive heart attack after doing lines of Columbian cocaine off a male prostitute’s hard cock.

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Tags: Barack Obama, John McCain, Larry Summers, New York Times, Phil Gramm, Timothy Geithner, We are so fucked
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Really?

President Barack Obama said he believes the global financial system remains at risk of implosion with the failure of Citigroup or AIG, which could touch off “an even more destructive recession and potentially depression.”

His remarks came in a“60 Minutes” interview in which he was pressed by Steve Kroft for laughing and chuckling several times while discussing the perilous state of the world’s economy.

“You’re sitting here. And you’re— you are laughing. You are laughing about some of these problems. Are people going to look at this and say, ‘I mean, he’s sitting there just making jokes about money—’ How do you deal with— I mean: explain. . .” Kroft asked at one point.

“Are you punch-drunk?” Kroft said.

Does this man look like he’s been punched repeatedly in the head?  Is he slurring his words?  Is there fresh blood dripping from an open head wound? Fuck no.  So this man isn’t punch-drunk.

He’s fucking stoned.

How else would you explain his infectious laugh, his constant smiling, and his cheerfulness during this boring ass interview?  Our President smoked a big ass blunt with the Secret Service before going on 60 minutes.

And why shouldn’t he?

He has the shittiest job in the world.  He’s inherited a failing economy, two wars, rampant unemployment, falling housing prices, rising homelessness, and a Main Stream Media who’s trying to vindicate themselves over the shitty job they did when Bush was in office by reporting every goddamn rumor they hear about Barack Obama as fact.

So who can blame him if he’s a little drugged up?  I can’t, because I know if I was in his position I’d be so fucked up on marijuana and xanax that I’d make Sloth sound like a fucking Rhodes Scholar.

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Tags: 60 Minutes, Barack Obama, God I want some drugs, Marijuana, Xanax
Comments (8)

You expect me to feel sorry for this guy?

Ernie Casillas lived the good life as he doled out millions of dollars in loans in California. The former banker drove fancy cars and took extravagant vacations.

But with the banking industry in crisis, his job is gone — as is his lavish lifestyle. Desperate for work, he recently swallowed his pride and posted a message on Craigslist: “Unemployed I need a job.”

Get the fuck out of here.  This fucking guy doesn’t deserve my sympathy.  He was a glorified bitch.  Look at his fucking job skills:

“I have over 20 years of experience in sales, telephone sales in a call center, customer service, administrative assistant, cash handling, teller, and many more skills and abilities. Great personality, very friendly, hard worker, very responsible,” it said. “I will be happy to e-mail you my resume. I need a job now. Please call my cell phone.”

A fucking retard can answer phone calls, count money, and suck enough dick to get a sale.  It’s fucking easy.  And how much did this dumb fuck make a year?

Casillas says, he was successful, making about $70,000 a year in the banking industry.

Jesus fucking Christ.  This cunt got paid 70,000 dollars a year  for answering a fucking phone and stroking off a couple of wealthy people? That’s more than teachers in South Carolina make in two years.  What the hell did he do with his money?

I was just living a very good life,” he said. “My daughter would ask me to take her to Las Vegas for her birthday, and we would stay at the most expensive hotels. Every year, this is what she wanted.”

Fuck me backwards.

He took his spoiled cunt of a daughter to Las Vegas every year for her birthday?  He was rewarding her for surviving a whole year by taking her to a city where the murder rate is 1.5 times higher than the national average?  What a fucking moron.   I’m glad this cock sucker is forced to live with his 75 year-old mother.  I’m glad his wife left him.  I’m glad he’s forced to cry himself to sleep each night.  Serves him right for acting like a rich business asshole.

But I don’t want to fucking read about him.

Instead of reading about pussified bank assholes and how bad they’re doing in this economy, I want to read about important shit.

Like how Sarah Palin is rejecting funds that would help teachers and special education, even though the stupid cunt has a retarded child.  Or how Mark Sanford is rejecting stimulus money for education and forcing South Carolina to cut 7,500 teaching jobs.  Or  how stupid Timothy Geithner’s plan is, and how fucked we are as a nation.  Or how AIG’s counterparties are getting paid back in full.  Or how fucking pathetic the American people are for doing nothing about this major ass fucking.

Of course I won’t read about any of these stories on CNN because they’re fucking worthless.  But they aren’t alone.  The entire Main Stream Media is fucking worthless.  Fox News, MSNBC, CNBC, The New York Post, The Washington Post, LA Times, Chicago Tribune, Newsweek, Time, and the Wall Street Journal are as useful as a homeless man’s cum stained boxers.

And do the American people care?  Hell no.  There too busy talking about the new iPhone’s copy and paste feature.

So I’m fucking glad this shit is happening.  I’m glad that AIG gets to hide behind their fucking “We have a contact” excuse when handing out millions of dollars to their executives.   I’m glad that Citigroup and Bank of American are going to need more taxpayer money.   I’m glad that Republicans and Democrats are having a dick waving contest over who is tougher on corruption.   I’m glad that we are sending more troops overseas to fight an unwinnable war.  I’m glad all this shit is happening because you fucking people are to goddamn lazy to get off your fat asses and do something.

And those stupid, gay ass tea parties don’t count.  I hope everybody who goes to those fucking things die from a toxic nerve gas attack – you stupid pussies.

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Tags: AIG, Bailout, CNN, Fox News, Fuck this stupid shit, MSNBC, Sarah Palin
Comments (6)