Mon 9 Mar, 2009
You know how much I like it when you put things in perspective.
Unemployment statistics don’t usually leap off the page, but the latest report from the Department of Labor offers some astounding figures. More than 651,000 jobs were cut in February, continuing a steep drop that has raised the unemployment rate to 8.1 percent, its highest level since 1983.
Matched up against some of the latest stats made available by the Census Bureau, those numbers really do begin to add up.
Man I can’t wait. I wonder what Fox will compare 12.5 million people to? The number of sperm in one groundhog ejaculation? The number of pills Rush Limbaugh has to take before his dick gets hard? Goddammit, I’m so fucking excited. Let’s go Fox. Show me what you got.
651,000 jobs were axed in February, a number larger than the populations of:
- Baltimore
- Seattle
- Denver
- El Paso
- Washington, D.C
Dammit, that’s not special. Large city populations mean nothing to me, but I understand. Don’t want to give away the good stuff early. I respect that. Let’s see what else you got.
12.5 million people are unemployed in the U.S., which is more than the number of:
- people watching ABC’s “Lost” this season
- women attending college
- male scientists and engineers
- Americans who grow herbs
- people who played tackle football in the past year.
Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about Fox. Those are some great fucking stats. I mean I didn’t know any of this shit. Who knew there were less than 12.5 million Americans growing herbs? I thought everyone in the United States grew herbs. I do. I’ve been growing herbs since I could wipe my own ass.
This blows my mind. I’m starting to realize how big a number 12.5 million is. Jesus Christ, I’m worried about the economy. We’re losing jobs at an incredible rate. People are losing their homes. Little kids are having to miss meals because their parents can’t afford food. God this is awful.
You’ve got me Fox. I’m worried, scared, and I think I just shat myself a little bit. I know you have one more comparison to drive home your point…so hit me with it.
2.6 million jobs have been lost in the past four months, which is like every Presbyterian in America getting the ax in one winter
Holy fucking shit. We’ve axed 2.6 million Presbyterians in the past four months? Jesus Christ that’s awful. I really don’t know why you chose Presbyterians or why we’re axing them in winter and not spring or summer, but I know that it’s bad because Presbyterians go to church and worship Jesus Christ and if you worship Jesus Christ than you’re a good person and bad things shouldn’t happen to good people.
Shit. Our economy is fucking awful. Somehow I know this is Obama’s fault. He’s caused this mess with his radical socialist agenda and he needs to fucking fix it.
Goddammit…I thought I was done taking strange men’s loads in my mouth for 5 dollars so I can provide for my family…guess not…
6 Responses to “Dammit Fox News
”
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Tags: Depression, Fox News, Job loss, Jobs, PresbyteriansComments (6)
Sweet Tart says:
You Socialists and all of your smart talking. Gaah
Sweet Tarts last blog post..Stem Cells Replace Stroke-damaged Tissue In Rats
Phuck Politics says:
@Sweet Tart – I’m sure a lot of people won’t agree with your kick ass comment.
stunatra says:
Those are some impressive stats…
stunatras last blog post..Daylight Savings Time Begins
Matt Oxley says:
I didn’t know that Herb growing had made such a major decline
this saddens me
Matt Oxleys last blog post..The Watchmen: A Review
Matt Oxley says:
stumbled for you btw…
if you wanted to stumble my watchmen review…you know…you can
Matt Oxleys last blog post..The Watchmen: A Review
Phuck Politics says:
@Stunatra – Leave it to Fox for some kick ass stats.
@Matt Oxley – The decline in herb growing saddens me too. I don’t understand why more Americans won’t grow their own herbs.