Mon 16 Mar, 2009
Knowing these people have got my back.
When her baby girl takes an afternoon nap, or on those nights when she just can’t sleep, Sarah Andrews, 32, tosses off her identity as a suburban stay-at-home mom and becomes something more exotic: a “virtual deputy” patrolling the U.S.-Mexico border.
From her house in a suburb of Rochester, New York, Andrews spends at least four hours a day watching a site called BlueServo.net.
I know I don’t get personal with my readers, all five of you, but I feel like divulging some information today. I don’t sleep well. I usually get two to four hours of sleep each night, and I’ve tried everything to get more. I’ve tried sleeping pills, warm milk, no caffeine after five, no eating after five, reading the Bible, smoking a joint, reading the Bible while smoking a joint, choking myself, masturbating, choking myself while masturbating, and nothing works.
Why can’t I go to sleep?
Because I’m worried. I’m worried about all the drug dealers crossing the US/Mexico border. I’m worried about the gang violence that’s going on, and how thousands of people have been killed because of it. I’m worried that my house will get shot at during a gang war, and I will lose my loved ones. I’m worried that someone will kidnap my four year-old cousin, and force her into the sex trade , unless I give them 400, 000 dollars in unmarked bills.
I’m so worried about this, that all I can do is sit and stare into the cold, dark, starless night; while counting down the days until my town is overran by evil, dirty, vile drug dealers.
But not anymore. Not with people like Sarah Andrews and Rob Abernethy motoring surveillance videos for me. Not with the state of Texas spending two million dollars on security cameras set up along the border. These brave, patriotic people are risking their lives to protect mine.
Now I can sleep, because I know these people are doing everything they can from the comfort of their home to protect me. I know their index finger is ready to send an email to alert Texas authorities when something is wrong. I know they don’t want anything bad to happen to me, and they are going to do everything in their power to watch the border.
Shit, I feel so safe that I’m going to take a nap, because goddammit – I know there are average Americans out there watching videos from a 2 million dollar web cam, and that makes me proud to be an American.
5 Responses to “I can sleep better at night
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Tags: Border Protection, Citizen watch, CNN, Government, Texas, We are fuckedComments (5)
RE Ausetkmt says:
Well Lah di Dahhh – you are gonna lay down and snooze; whilst we burn like kittens in an oven with malcolm x bakin ? hey where is that cam tht’s trained on your house, so I can help you keep your cousin safe from the mexican pimps.. I notice you neglected to post the url for that one.
hot damn !
Shit, I feel so safe that I’m going to take a nap, because goddammit – I know there are average Americans out there watching videos from a 2 million dollar web cam, and that makes me proud to be an American.
RE Ausetkmts last blog post..Let Us Bust Your Windows Out – Take The Monday Mornin Color Test Here
Phuck Politics says:
@RE Ausetkmt – Good thing I got up to piss, and read your comment. I added the link. Let me know if you see anything, because I’m going back to sleep.
Aoi says:
Great find. Reminds me of the middle-aged women in the Midwest in 2003 who were using machine translation software to convert what they thought was chat on Al Qaeda websites to help the U.S. gov’t get Osama bin Laden. See how well that worked?
Aoi says:
Oh, and hope you’re actually sleeping comfortably. Have you tried hitting yourself over the head with the Bible?
Phuck Politics says:
@Aoi – I haven’t tried the Bible over the head thing. I don’t know why? Thanks, hopefully this well help.