Tue 31 Mar, 2009
The new Afghan war strategy unveiled Friday by US President Barack Obama goes beyond “bullets and bombs” to a plan to overhaul international aid to Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Dismissing past aid efforts as ill-organized and underfunded, it calls for a civilian surge in Afghanistan to match the military one as well as for a 7.5 billion dollar development plan and special economic zones for Pakistan.
Whether you want to admit it or not, the United States came under attack on 9-11-01, and those responsible live in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq. We cannot allow those 3,000 Americans to die in vain. We must show the world that attacks on American citizens will not be tolerated.
But why stop there? Americans are under attack every day. To be safe, we need to spend money on everything that’s trying to attack and kill us. We need to spend:
- 2.1 billion dollars to fight alcohol since 85,000 Americans die from it each year.
- 3.2 billion dollars to fight tobacco since 435,000 Americans die from it each year.
- 11.9 billion dollars to fight choking since 2,800 Americans die from it each year.
- 57.2 billion dollars to fight cancer since 565,650 Americans die from it each year.
- 9.1 billion dollars to fight murder since 16,137 Americans die from it each year.
- 6.9 billion dollars to fight rape since 94,635 Americans are attacked by it each year.
- 1.8 billion dollars to fight food poisoning since 76 million Americans are attacked by it each year.
- 1.9 billion dollars to fight chronic masturbation syndrome since thousands of lonely teenagers are attacked by it each year.
- 2.89 billion dollars to fight dry vagina syndrome since hundreds of old American women are attacked by it each year.
- 4.9 billion dollars to fight gayness since 957,200 heterosexual marriages are attacked by it each year.
- 3.26 billion dollars to fight those fucking bums who always attacked me for money each year.
- 10.32 billion dollars to fight dwarfism because tiny people always attack me each year.
With President Obama’s leadership and Congress’ funding, Americans will never have to worry about being attacked and killed again.
7 Responses to “That’s right Obama
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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Iraq, Money, Pakistan, WarComments (7)
stunatra says:
# 1.9 billion dollars to fight chronic masturbation syndrome since thousands of lonely teenagers are attacked by it each year.
# 2.89 billion dollars to fight dry vagina syndrome since hundreds of old American women are attacked by it each year.
rofl, what?
Great post!
stunatras last blog post..Questions fer ya!
Phuck Politics says:
@Stunatra – It’s true. People are suffering and we need to do something about it.
rory says:
Toss in a few billion for anti farting treatment.Too many suffer from it,and waaay too many innocent people have to endure the toxic effects.
Tazeen says:
10.32 million to fight Dwarfism?
Can you actually fight dwarfism? and while you are at it, can you please try and fight super fit people who always give the rotund me killing looks?
Tazeens last blog post..Looking for a scapegoat at G20
Phuck Politics says:
@Rory – Man, how the fuck did I forget about that? Two of my good friends died from the toxic effects of farts.
@Tazeen – Not 10.32 million, 10.32 BILLION. Those tiny bastards scare the shit out of me.
And I’m all for funding ways to make super fit people stop giving rotund people killer looks. Is 7.3 billion dollars enough?
Tina says:
I so agree!!! US is going to get sucked in by Afganistan like the Vietnam War.
This is a great site!
Tinas last blog post..Charmed by "Secessionists"
Phuck Politics says:
@Tina – Thanks for the complement. If you enjoy it so much, please subscribe to my feed.