Wed 20 May, 2009
Because I want to show Jenna Fischer how much I care.
Ted Haggard is on Twitter. [From the Left]
Harry Reid is a fucking retarded. [Bob Cesca's Awesome Blog]
I love Jesse Ventura. [Zirgar's Fresh New Brain Squeezin's]
I’d let Meghan McCain shoot my gun any day. [Democralypse Now]
Rich people scare me. [In Case You Missed It]
That’s one way to getting out of jail. [Bums Jungle News]
Tags: Weekly Link DumpTue 19 May, 2009
Why is the only person making sense about torture a former WWF wrestler? And why is he arguing with this worthless cunt about it?
Why are people in this country pissed off at Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid for being briefed on torture, but not pissed off at George Bush and Dick Cheney for authorizing torture? Why is Barack Obama not willing to prosecute CIA agents who tortured, but isn’t willing to free soldiers from jail who tortured?
Why is waterboarding considered an enhanced interrogation technique when our government does it, but considered torture when the Vietnamese government does it?
Why has there been more outrage over Micheal Vick torturing dogs, than there has been over the Bush administration torturing humans?
Tags: Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, George Bush, Harry Reid, I don't understand this fucking country, Jesse Ventura, Michael Vick, Nancy Pelosi, The ViewMon 18 May, 2009
Can you spot the difference between these two pictures? If you said no because both pictures are religious propaganda then give yourself a fucking hand.
In a lengthy article on Donald Rumsfeld’s rocky tenure as Defense Secretary, GQ published never-before-seen cover sheets from top-secret intelligence briefings produced by Rumsfeld’s Pentagon. Starting in the days surrounding the U.S. invasion of Iraq, the cover sheets featured inspirational Bible verses printed over military images, “and were delivered by Rumsfeld himself to the White House” to the president, “who referred to America’s war on terror as a ‘crusade,’” GQ writes. (view the images here)
Not only were our soldiers handing out Bibles while slaughtering hundreds of innocent civilians, but our former president was getting daily military briefings with retarded Bible Verses and military images on the front page. What retarded Bible Verses were used you ask? These award winners:
Teir arrows are sharp, all their bows are strung; their horses’ hoofs seem like flint, their chariot wheels are like a whirl wind. Isaiah 5:28
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3
But the award for “Most Retarded Bible Verse That Graced the Cover of a Top Secret Military Briefing Given to George W. Bush” is:
It is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. 1 Peter 2:15
This is a bad dream right? I mean, there’s no way the former President of the Untied States and his administration used the deaths of 3,000 American citizens to justify torture and use it to get suspected terrorist to provide a false link to a shitty third world country so we could invade it and give billions of taxpayers’s dollars to their political friends while sacrificing thousands of American lives – right?
Tags: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Fuck God and Religion, George W. Bush, God, ReligionFri 15 May, 2009
Because House told me to do it.
I don’t want to seem like a conspiracy nut, but why isn’t the media reporting about this? [Harretz.com]
‘Dick Cheney’ and ‘hard-on’ should not be used in the same sentence. [Democralypse Now]
That is very suspicious. [In Case You Missed It]
This whole situation confuses me. [Pissed On Politics]
I’m going to agree with number 1, but where is the love for lube? [The Afternoon Break]
The day America has a single-payer health care system is the day I jizz on Megan Fox’s tits. [Jeff Likes To Rant]
Does Sarah Palin really talk like that? [Zirgar's Fresh New Brain Squeezin's]
Update: This has to be the funniest shit I’ve read in a month. [Deadspin]
Tags: link dumpThu 14 May, 2009
But I agree with Barack Obama.
In a dramatic, high-profile reversal for his young administration, President Barack Obama is seeking to block the release of 44 photographs depicting abuse of detainees in U.S. military custody in Iraq and Afghanistan.
“The publication of these photos would not add any additional benefit to our understanding of what was carried out in the past by small number of individuals,” the president told reporters Wednesday as he left the White House on a two-day trip to the Southwest.
“In fact,’ he said, “the most direct consequence of releasing them, I believe, would be to further inflame anti-American opinion and to put our troops in greater danger.”
Look, I know I’m going to get a few angry emails about agreeing with Barack Obama, but let’s use logic for a moment. Once the Muslim world sees these horrific pictures of us waterboarding detainees, slamming their heads into walls, slicing their genitals, and electrocuting them - they’re going to be pissed. And who are the Muslims going to take it out on?
That’s right, the men and women overseas protecting the freedoms we take for granted.
Sure, Barack Obama could protect our soldiers by forcing the military to stop bombing small villages and killing hundreds of innocent civilians. And sure, Barack Obama could also protect our soldiers by forcing the military to stop using chemical weapons against innocent civilians. And yes, Barack Obama could protect our soldiers by forcing them to stop handing out Bibles. But come on, let’s be realistic here, if Barack Obama stopped doing any of these things then the terrorist win.
And Barack Obama knows that terrorist cannot be allowed to win. But he also knows the only way America can win the support of the Muslim world is by not showing these torture pictures.
Because anyone who knows anything about Muslims knows the one thing that pisses them off the most isn’t the unjustified occupation, the murdering of innocent civilians, the raping of innocent women, the torture, the destruction of their villages, and the economic collapse of their nation – it’s photographs of enhanced interrogation techniques….
Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Barack Obama is a pussy, Iraq, Torture, Torture PicturesWed 13 May, 2009
It’s about time you started to show the American people how brutal war is and what’s happening to innocent Iraqi civilians. That’s why I’m giving you a PhuckPolitics fist pump for reporting, in detail, how Steven Green and his buddies raped an innocent 14-year-old girl and then killed her and her entire family.
Allegedly SGT Paul CORTEZ, SPC James BARKER,PFC Steven GREEN, and PFC Jesse SPIELMAN, were playing cards and drinking alcohol. The Soldiers are alleged to have gone to the house of an Iraqi Family nearby. They then allegedly raped a young woman who lived at the residence and set her on fire. They are also thought to have murdered her family.
The American people have a right to know how these American soldiers brutally gang raped this innocent 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killed her by setting her on fire. The American people have a right to know what American soldiers are doing in the Middle East in their name. And you’ve finally realized that the American people have a right to know how fucked up this American lead war is, and how it’s affecting innocent Iraqi citizens.
What?
This isn’t from CNN? Really? Then where is it from? It better not be some crazy liberal/conservative/Democrat/Republican blog like Daily Kos/Pajamas Media/Huffington Post/Town Hall. If it is then you can shove it up your ass because those fuckers are batshit insane.
It isn’t? Alright, then where is it from? No shit? No, no I’m sorry but I don’t believe you. There’s no way this is from a leaked Army memo telling the media to be passive about reporting this story. The Army wouldn’t do something like that. Plus, I remember reading an article about this guy on CNN.com.
You know the article I’m talking about. The one where it reports on how brutal Steven Green’s crimes were and how he just got convicted.
Yes I’m sure the article said he gang raped this innocent 14-year-old girl and set her body on fire, then killed her entire family which included a 5 year-old.
Sure I’m willing to bet on it. What do you want to lose? Oh, you’re so confident about winning that you’re going to let me make the conditions? Alright. If I’m right, you have to watch every episode of Reba that comes on the Lifetime Channel for an entire week without stabbing yourself in the face. And if you’re right, I have to read every Ann Coulter book without tearing out the pages and wiping my ass with them. Deal? Good. Now show me the article.
“You probably think I’m a monster.”
That’s what FBI agents said former U.S. soldier Steven Green told them nearly three years ago about accusations that he had raped a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killed her and her family.
Oh come on. That’s it? That’s all CNN wrote about this guy? They didn’t talk about how Steven Green and his buddies decided to go to a random Iraqi house and rape an innocent 14-year-old girl, set her on fire, and kill her entire family – all because they were drunk and bored?
There has to be some more quotes about this sick fuck and what he did. He had to have said something else or the prosecutor had to have said something about this sick crime…right?
There are? Good. Because I was starting to get pissed off at CNN for doing a shitty job reporting this story. Now show me those quotes so my faith in CNN’s reporting can be restored.
“All of my buddies were getting killed over there. My lieutenant got his face blown off. … George Bush and Dick Cheney ought to be the ones that are arrested.”
Prosecutors said he and others in his unit plotted an attack on an Iraqi family. Green herded the parents and younger sister of 14-year-old Abeer al-Janabi into another room of a house while two accomplices raped her. He then gunned down her parents and her 6-year-old sister, before joining in the rape and killing the teenager.
Oh goddammit. The kid was 5, not 6. And they didn’t gun down the 14-year-old girl. They poured gasoline on her and lit her on fire.
Fuck it, I’m done with CNN. They’re just as bad as Fox News and MSNBC. They don’t care about reporting the facts because they’re too busy standing in a corner jerking-off to the government and their corporate buddies Eiffel Towering the American people .
Of course they stop pleasuring themselves the moment Rush Limbaugh is made fun of and rush to his defense. But once they stop congratulating themselves for protecting his honor, they go back to slowly stroking themselves as the American people get tag teamed by CNN’s government and corporate heroes.
This just shows you how the media doesn’t care about the American people. They only care about being close to those in power.
Tags: Ann Coulter, Army, CNN, Fuck the Media, Main Stream MediaMon 11 May, 2009
Today’s post comes from Zirgar over at Zirgar’s Fresh New Brain Squeezin’s. Go check out his site. If you don’t then I will hunt you down and force you to watch every episode of Gray’s Anatomy.
On a recent edition of Hardball with Chris Matthews guest Michelle Malkin in an effort to lower the bar for conservative outrageousness reinforced her reputation by actually eating a live bat during a commercial. According to Chris Matthews, “We had just gone to break when Michelle reached into her purse, pulled out a small squeaking bat, threw it up in the air and snagged the poor animal with her long sticky prehensile reptilian tongue.”
When asked to explain this cold-blooded behavior, Malkin simply stated, “I was hungry. I had a bat, so I ate it. End of story. What’s the big deal?” When told that this wasn’t the usual behavior exhibited by political pundits, Ms. Malkin reportedly said, “Oh, right. Like conservatives are the only ones who eat snacks. Typical! Looks like another smear campaign to make me look bad. I can see the headlines now, ‘Michelle Malkin Eats Too Much, Getting Fat’. I bet you never berate Michelle Obama for eating between meals, you liberal ass.” Enraged she stormed off of the set.
According to one source, at that point, Matthews was overheard saying, “Bat goes in, bat shit comes out. God, I fucking hate that stinky, drippy skunt.” Amen, Chris. Amen, buddy.
On a side note, it’s believed that upon hearing about the amount of attention Malkin garnered with the bat eating incident that Glenn Beck began looking for a way to insert several ICBM missiles into his vagina for his appearance on Donahue later that week.
Tags: Chris Mathews, Guest post, Michelle Malkin
