I wish I had a powerful imaginary friend... |

Maybe I need to rethink this whole Christianity thing.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching on that front. What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily, he fell in very very significant ways. But then picked up the pieces and built from there.

I remain committed to rebuilding the trust that has been committed to me over the next 18 months, and it is my hope that I am able to follow the example set by David in the Bible — who after his fall from grace humbly refocused on the work at hand. By doing so, I will ultimately better serve in every area of my life, and I am committed to doing so.

Welp, I’m becoming a crazy Christian now because I can get away with anything as long as a famous Bible character did it.

So it’s okay for me to fuck my own daughters because Lot did it. And it’s okay for me to kill 42 children because Elisha did it. And fuck yeah, I can become a mass murderer just like Samson.

Damn this is so fucking cool. What are some other awesome things I can do?

I can sleep with thousands of women while I’m married because of Solomon. I can commit genocide like King David. And I can persuade a group of people to kill someone I don’t agree with like Paul. I can do all of these things because the Bible is my “Do Whatever The Fuck You Want And Get Away With It” card.

How can you not love this deal? Sure I’ll have to live in constant fear of pissing of God, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. Besides, my boy Jesus is controlling my life now, and he’s never lead anyone astray.

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5 Responses to “

Religion FTW!!!

”

9:43 am, 30 June, 2009 р.
ZIRGAR says:

Personally, I love how Elisha had a she-bear rip those 42 kids to pieces because they had the audacity to say to him, “Go thou up, thou bald head.” Man, that’s harsh. I mean, those little fuckers had it coming! I’m sure those mean words had Elisha crying for days. I be that’s why he was chosen, being a man of thin skin and psychotic temperament and all – things one obviously looks for in a man of the cloth.

ZIRGARs last blog post..MOTIVATIONAL POSTER
12:07 pm, 30 June, 2009 р.
mikeb302000 says:

Thanks for your comment over on my blog to the kooks who think the Bible says they should be armed. Those gun nuts are too much.

mikeb302000s last blog post..The Famous 10%
11:50 pm, 30 June, 2009 р.
businessclix says:

my powerful imaginary friend tells me to cheat and steal from the rich, retarded religious fucks in this world any way i can

because of those assholes the world has turned out the way it is

fuck all those jesus pussies, i just got through desacrating one of their churches with my girl )

i also grew some dank at one of their fuckin stupid churches, ha ha dumb asses didnt even realize it )

i cant wait until some random kiddo starts burnin down churches again, i love those stories, that would be a good post for your blog, we could congratulate and thank the kidd )

businessclixs last blog post..The best PTR and PTC sites of 2008 – 2009
6:27 am, 1 July, 2009 р.
Phuck Politics says:

@Zirgar – Those little shits got what they deserved. If they would have read the Bible, they would have seen the 14th commandment, “Thou shall not make fun of a bald prophet.”

@Mikeb- Don’t mention it. I don’t see how you can put up with those crazy fucks.

@Businessclix – I can’t wait until some crazy guy walks into a mega church and blows himself up. And it’s going to happen, just wait.
6:59 am, 6 July, 2009 р.
Goddammit God... | says:

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