Fri 31 Jul, 2009
At least Obama doesn’t tell the world he talks to God. [...by Jeff Tompkins]
It’s sad we live in a world where a president is judged by his choice of beer, and not by his policies. [Democralypse Now]
Fuck Bill Kristol. [Salon]
Career Day was never this cool when I was growing up. [Amazing Super Powers]
The best Goldman apology yet. [Matt Taibbi]
Who the fuck reads Politico? [Glenn Greenwald]
Tags: link dump, That guy looks funnyThu 30 Jul, 2009
The consumption of cannabis, even long-term, has a “minimal” impact on brain function, according to a systematic literature review just published online by the journal Psychological Medicine.
Investigators concluded, “Minimal evidence of major effects of cannabis on brain structure has been reported,” noting that marijuana users and controls perform similarly on cognitive tasks
That’s right you limp dick son of a bitch. Looks like you have to take back this stupid fucking statement:
“Marijuana is dangerous and has no medicinal benefit,” Kerlikowske said in downtown Fresno while discussing Operation SOS — Save Our Sierra — a multiagency effort to eradicate marijuana in eastern Fresno County.
I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I didn’t mean to call you a son of a bitch and tell you to blow me. I was just excited about this news because I think marijuana should be legal. Can we put this ugly incident behind us? Good.
Now, let’s get down to business. Since this study proves that marijuana isn’t that harmful, when can we expect it to be legalized? I mean, if you legalize and tax marijuana it would help create jobs and stimulate the economy.
“Legalization is not in the president’s vocabulary, and it’s not in mine,” he said.
Oh goddammit. This fucking country is ass backwards. For fuck’s sake, we throw people in jail for smoking a goddamn plant, but do nothing to the people who illegally started two wars, tortured thousands of innocent civilians, gave no-bid contracts to their buddies, illegally wiretapped the country, developed secret assassination squads, spend trillions of dollars on the military, and funded death squads.
And that’s just from the Bush II administration. I won’t even get into all the illegal bullshit that happened during the Clinton administration, the Bush I administration, the Reagan administration, and the Nixon administration.
But Americans don’t give a shit. They don’t call out their politicians’ bullshit. They take everything at face value. They never question a goddamn thing. They just sit on their fat asses watching some fat asshole find the girl of his dreams.
You know, it’s true what George Carlin said: “When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.”
Tags: Fuck Gil Kerlikowske, Fuck the War on Drugs, I can't believe there's a fucking fat bachelor show, MarijuanaWed 29 Jul, 2009
President Barack Obama approved adding some 17,000 U.S. troops for the flagging war in Afghanistan, his first significant move to change the course of a conflict that his closest military advisers have warned the United States is not winning.
“To meet urgent security needs, I approved a request from (Defense) Secretary Gates to deploy a Marine Expeditionary Brigade later this spring and an Army Stryker Brigade and the enabling forces necessary to support them later this summer,” Obama said in a statement issued by the White House.
Let’s see…there’s currently 34,000 troops fighting now, plus the22,000 Obama approved earlier this week, plus the 17,000 he just approved…carry the two…and that gives us… 73,000 troops in Afghanistan. Add in the 128,000 troops currently deployed in Iraq and WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY GETTING THESE PEOPLE?
Honestly, who the fuck still believes we’re fighting for 9-11? Who the fuck still believes Iraq is to blame? And who the fuck wants to risk their life fighting in a war that’s unwinnable?
And why are we pissing away trillions of dollars on these stupid fucking wars when we could use that money for creating jobs, improving education, fixing health care, improving our transportation and electric grids, finding alternative fuels, fixing global warming, and solving world hunger?
Yet nobody asks these questions. Nobody asks Obama about wasteful war spending. Nobody asks Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, or any other piece of shit Congressperson why they’re increasing the militrary budget. Nobody from MSNBC, CNN, or Fox News talks about the damage these wars are doing to our economy.
Why?
Because it’s un-American. Because questioning those in power means you hate the troops. Because questioning the war means you’re a pussy faggot commie terrorist-loving secert Muslim jerk-off.
Not me. I’m not afraid to say fuck those wars, fuck Obama, fuck Congress, fuck the Pentagon, fuck the CIA, fuck the Military, and fuck any of you cocksuckers who thinks those wars are a good goddamn idea.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go wait outside for that special black van full of Special-Ops soldiers because I don’t want them to break down my door, rape my loved ones, and kill my dog.
Tags: Afghanistan, Fuck the CIA, Fuck the Government, Fuck these stupid wars, War on TerrorTue 28 Jul, 2009
I wish I had a direct line to Sarah Palin like my friend Zirgar, but I’m not that well connected. So I have to rely on William Shatner’s reading of Sarah Palin’s speech in order to understand what the fuck that beautiful crazy bitch said.
But to be honest, I still don’t have a fucking clue what she said. I mean, what the shit does this mean?
And I promised that we would get a natural gas pipeline underway and we did. Since I was a little kid growing up here, I remember the discussions, especially the political discussions just talking about and hoping for and dreaming of commercializing our clean, abundant, needed natural gas.
Who dreams about commercializing natural gas? And what little kid remembers political discussions involving dreaming about commercializing natural gas?
I’ll tell you who can remember stupid shit like that: autistic savants.
Which means Sarah Palin has just told the world that she’s a fucking retarded genius. And if there’s one thing the American people love more than a gun-loving Christian politician…it’s a retarded gun-loving Christian politician.
Goddammit, we are so fucked.
Tags: Crazy Bitch, Man I would do her, Retarded Governor, Sarah Palin, William ShatnerMon 27 Jul, 2009
Thank you for enlightening us.
President Obama’s rhetoric last night summoned the memory of “1984,” George Orwell’s novel of a nightmarish future — where the slogan of the rulers is “War is peace; freedom is slavery; ignorance is strength.”
The president assures us that he will cut health-care spending . . . by adding $1 trillion to health-care spending.
He says that “health-care decisions will not be made by government” . . . while he sets up a new Federal Health Board to tell doctors what treatments they can offer and to whom and under what circumstances.
Obama told the media, “I will free doctors to make good health-care decisions” . . . by telling the physicians what to do.
The rest of Dick’s bullshit article is a rehash of the same old talking points: the elderly will be euthanize, medical treatments will be rationed, and the government will tell you which doctors to see.
(Except he throws in a sentence about TARP. I don’t know what the fuck TARP has to do with health care, but who am I to question Dick “Necks-are-overrated” Morris?)
Hey, you want to hear a cool story about Dick Morris? Okay, but first a little background information: in 1996 Dick Morris used to work for Bill Clinton’s re-election campaign when a story broke involving himself, a hooker, and a telephone call.
Still with me? Good.
So anyway, here’s the story: One day, in a cheap run down hotel, Dick Morris was banging a woman who gets paid for sex. Let’s call her Hooker. Well after Dick’s small dick finished coughing up its tiny white soliders on Hooker’s chest, he had a brilliant idea. He looks Hooker in her eyes and says, ” I’m about to call the President of the United States of America to discuss political strategy after you finish wiping off your chest. Now usually I do this alone since it’s highly classified, but I feel like we have a connection and I can trust you. So you can listen in, but only if you promise not to tell anyone, okay?” Of course Hooker couldn’t keep her mouth shut, and poor Dick had to quit his lucrative job of telling Bill Clinton what to do.
Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking what the fuck does this story have to do with Dick Morris’s article on health care? And to be honest, this story has nothing to do with Dick Morris shitting on a health care system that would benifit millions of Americans.
But what this story does do is tell you something about Dick Morris’s character. It tells you how he is willing to jeopardize his reputation, his career, and his marriage in order to impress a fucking hooker. It tells you how he needs people to see how connected he is. And it tells you how fucked up our country is when a fat sack of shit like Dick Morris is able to influence the President of the United States and the country.
Tags: Dick Morris, Dick Morris loves hookers, Health care, Why would you want to impress a hookerFri 24 Jul, 2009
This is the most fun Jesus has had since the Crucifixion.
If I could go back in time and put all my money into Goldman Sachs, like Warren Buffet, I would. [Politicus.US]
Goddammit. I know there’s a killer Jewish joke about this story but I can’t think of one. [Democralypse Now]
Honestly, who the fuck watches Lou Dobbs? [From the Left]
I really, really hate drug czars. [Fesnobee]
Why does Fox News hate our America? [Raw Story]
There’s something creepy about a secret and powerful political group called The Family. [Atheist Revolution]
Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could always get your way like Goldman Sachs? [Matt Taibbi]
Tags: link dump, Mickey and Jesus are about to make sweet sweet loveThu 23 Jul, 2009
Why aren’t any Americans doing stuff like this?
A former Justice Department official who wrote controversial memos authorizing the Bush administration to conduct torture was the object of a prank by an Australian comedian during one of his recent law class lectures.
John Yoo, a former deputy assistant attorney general who has faced intense criticism for authoring constitutionally-questionable memos justifying torture and the government’s warrantless wiretapping program, was confronted last week during a lecture he was giving on international law at Chapman University School of Law, a private school in Southern California.
After Yoo mentions the Constitution during his lecture, and asks the students if they have any questions, an Australian comedian from the show Chaser’s War on Everything is seen wearing a black-hooded robe and standing on top of his desk with his arms outstretched, recalling one of the most iconic images of U.S. torture captured in the now-infamous Abu Ghraib photos.
The comedian says, “Actually, professor, I’ve got one question. Uhm, how long can I be required to stand here ’til it counts as torture?”
Yoo cuts his lecture short and replies, “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to end class,” as he packs up his lecture notes.
As Yoo apologizes to the class for the interruption, the comedian replies, “If this is awkward for you, it’s very uncomfortable for me, I can tell you…. I’d love to move but every time I do my balls get buzzed.”
Goddammit, it’s a sad fucking day when an Australian flies halfway around the world to pull off this magnificent prank while John Yoo’s teaching, only to have the American students stand up and applaud the jerk-off who justified torture.
Tags: Fuck John Yoo, Fuck those students, Torture, Torture Memos
