Dick Cheney's Scary Face Made Me Poop My Pants

Tell me the New York Times is lying.

The Central Intelligence Agency withheld information about a secret counterterrorism program from Congress for eight years on direct orders from former Vice President Dick Cheney, the agency’s director, Leon E. Panetta, has told the Senate and House intelligence committees, two people with direct knowledge of the matter said Saturday.

You know what? This can’t be the whole story. I’m sure Dick Cheney has a good reason for doing this. I’m going to withhold judgment until I see what he has to say.

Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney were unsuccessful.

Okay, Dick was busy. Maybe him and his daughter went to see that new Bruno movie and he turned off his cell phone because he didn’t want to ruin the movie for everybody. Yeah, that’s something Dick would do. He would make sure that his cell phone was off because he respects people too much, and that’s why they couldn’t get in touch with him. Besides, I’m sure he told his family what to say when the New York Times called.

Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney through relatives were unsuccessful

Okay, maybe they were busy too. Maybe they were out on the beach, or at some horse ranch. I mean, they can’t sit around all day waiting on the New York Times to call. They’ve got shit to do. But again, I’m sure Dick knew that. That’s why he left a message with his associates to give  to the New York Times.

Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney through associates were unsuccessful.

Oh goddammit. Really Dick? Really? Your fucking ass as been all over the goddamn place talking about how this country is unsafe, and how Obama is a pussy, and how gay people should be allowed to marry, but when a major story comes out saying you’ve been running a secret CIA program that you’ve kept from Congress you suddenly drop off the face of the earth?

You know what you are Dick? You’re a big, fat, wart covered pussy that sits around all day signing off on torture techniques and secret assassination squads, and telling everyone that you can do whatever the fuck you want because the country is under attack. Until someone calls you out on all your bullshit. Then you shove a tampon up your fucking twat and run off crying like Michael Jackson’s daughter.

I cannot wait until some fat hung motherfucker bends you over his prison bed and ass fucks you so hard that every time you cough you taste his children.

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10 Responses to “

Say it ain’t so Dick


  1. ZIRGAR says:

    Why are all the appropriate people named Dick?

    ZIRGARs last blog post..Brown Haired Guy Who’s Not Steve Doocy, You’ve Convinced Me That My Genes Can Have An Agenda!


  2. Phuck Politics says:

    @Zirgar – One of life’s many mysteries.


  3. ZIRGAR says:

    Twitter is kinda of fun. Thanks for finding me on there. I’ve been getting all smartass with John Boehner, but I doubt that he’s read either one of my tweets or twats or what the fuck ever they’re called. It’s fun.

    ZIRGARs last blog post..Brown Haired Guy Who’s Not Steve Doocy, You’ve Convinced Me That My Genes Can Have An Agenda!


  4. businessclix says:

    i cant believe half these elected pussies hang out on twitter

    this place is a goddamn joke, we got fuckin politicians on twitter

    i hope real hardcore terrorists use twitter and send viruses to their comps or cell phones and they explode in their goddamn face

    businessclixs last blog post..Britebux is a scam


  5. Phuck Politics says:

    @Zirgar – Ha, I saw you giving Boehner shit. My favorite person to fuck with is Jim DeMint and John McCain. I can’t stand those assholes.

    @Businessclix – I’ve always wondered if terrorists were monitoring our politicians’ tweets.


  6. ZIRGAR says:

    I twittered McCain that I would never forgive him for shining a light on Palin. Also been giving Palin shit on her stupid aphorisms, which she so clearly googles and then tries to spin her own way, stupid fucking cow. I hope she can read German!

    ZIRGARs last blog post..Brown Haired Guy Who’s Not Steve Doocy, You’ve Convinced Me That My Genes Can Have An Agenda!


  7. businessclix says:

    @ phuckpolitics, i read an article online a while ago , where they were discussing terrorists, and their new love of twitter :)

    apparently twitter is becoming their favorite:)

    businessclixs last blog post..Britebux is a scam


  8. businessclix says:

    P.S. might be just hype or more fear mongering by government

    businessclixs last blog post..Britebux is a scam


  9. rory says:

    Obviously this prize dick,called Dick,has a very small dick.


  10. Phuck Politics says:

    @Businessclix – I’m going to go with 90% truth, 10% fear mongering.

    @Rory – That would explain why Dick has to act so tough.

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