If you had the chance to interview Dick Cheney after the IG Torture report came out, what would you ask him? Would you ask him how he felt about tarnishing the country’s image? Would you ask him how he felt about the hundreds of prisoners that died while in American custody? Would you ask him how scared he was about the possibility of becoming a war criminal?

If you’re Chris Wallace you don’t ask any of these hard-hitting questions. Instead you ask him these questions:

Why are you so concerned about the idea of one administration reviewing, investigating the actions of another one?

Do you think this was a political move not a law enforcement move?

The inspector general’s report which was just released from 2004 details some specific interrogations — mock executions, one of the detainees threatened with a handgun and with an electric drill, waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times. First of all, did you know that was going on?

So even these cases where they went beyond the specific legal authorization, you’re OK with it?

That’s right, instead of asking Dick Cheney about being the mastermind of America’s torture program, Chris Wallace decided to get on his knees and do his best Jenna Haze impression.

Of course Chris Wallace didn’t think he was being soft on Dick Cheney. I’m sure he thought he asked all the right questions. And I’m sure after the interview he went back to his room, turned on his TiVo, unzipped his pants and jerked off to Dick Cheney answering his tough questions.

Just like every white, redneck, stupid fucking American who thinks Dick Cheney is a true patriot.

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Tags: Fuck Chris Wallace, Fuck Dick Cheney, Fuck Fox News, Torture
Comments (5)

You stay classy Glenn Beck.

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Tags: Awkward, Creepy Old Man, Glenn Beck
Comments (12)

We need to pool our money together and put this on TV.

Rush Limbaugh getting caught at a male strip club explains so much. [Zirgar's]

So let me get this straight….your dick can prove you were born in America, but not your birth certificate? [From the Left]

I like this man’s style. [The Middle of Nowhere]

Bill Gates is a racist? [Crib From This]

Wait, did we ever find the first Great White Hope? [Hullabaloo]

Black people make Glenn Beck piss his pants. [Crooks and Liars]

First George Bush led us into two wars, then he bailed out Wall Street, and now he’s ending Reading Rainbow. [Think Progress]

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Tags: Health care, link dump, Reading Rainbow was my favorite show
Comments (3)

God-fucking-dammit. Is this really the shit that’s keeping us from getting health care? Obama’s after our cocks? Really? Is this why Republican Senator Mike Enzi said, “It’s not where I get them to compromise, it’s what I get them to leave out. If I hadn’t been involved in this process as long as I have and to the depth as I have, you would already have national health care”? Is this why I have to go to Wal-mart to buy over the counter cold & flu medicine instead of seeing a doctor ?

This is un-fucking-believable. I can’t wrap my head around how people can listen to this guy. I mean, do they honestly think the President of the United States wants to reform health care just so he can force every man to cut his dick off?

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Tags: Barak Obama, Health care, Rush Limbaugh, Why won't Rush Limbaugh die
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But thankfully I’m not as sick as this woman’s husband. Lucky for her Tom Coburn is such a compassionate man, because otherwise her husband would be fucked.

Of course I don’t except you to click on that link, so I’m going to quote one of my favorite Tom Coburn stories:

A sterilization Coburn performed on a 20-year-old woman in 1990 became what was called “the most incendiary issue” of his Senate campaign.[35] Coburn performed the sterilization on the woman during an emergency surgery to treat a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy, removing her intact fallopian tube as well as the one damaged by the surgery. The woman sued Coburn, alleging that he did not have consent to sterilize her, while Coburn claimed he had her oral consent. The lawsuit was ultimately dismissed with no finding of liability on Coburn’s part.

The state attorney general claimed that Coburn committed Medicaid fraud by not reporting the sterilization when he filed a claim for the emergency surgery. Medicaid did not reimburse doctors for sterilization procedures for patients under 21, and according to the attorney general, Coburn would not have been reimbursed at all had he not withheld this information. Coburn says since he did not file a claim for the sterilization, no fraud was committed. No charges were filed against Coburn for this claim.

I wonder if that women would have asked Tom Coburn for help if she’d known he sterilized a young woman and committed Medicaid fraud?

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Tags: Fuck Tom Coburn, Health care, How is Tom Coburn a senator, Old people
Comments (2)

And here I was thinking that American citizens were leading the charge against the public option plan.

A spokesman for America’s Health Insurance Plans, the industry’s trade group, admitted in an article published Monday that as many as 50,000 industry employees are involved in an effort to fight back against aggressive health care reform.

“The health-insurance industry is sending thousands of its employees to town-hall meetings and other forums during Congress’s August recess to try to counter a tide of criticism directed at the insurers and remain a player — and not an outsider — in the debate over the future of the health-care system,” the Journal’s Vanessa Fuhrmans and Avery Johnson wrote Monday.

Well that’s just fucking great. So not only are the corporations spending millions of dollars bribing Congress, they’re now sending their employees to these town-hall meetings to shout things like “Death panels” and “Old people are going to die” and “Old people won’t be able to get knee replacements.”

And why are those corporate whores shouting these things during town-hall meetings? Because old people are fucking stupid.

There has to be some rule that says once you turn 55 you must turn into a racist, sexist piece of shit that has to believe everything you hear on TV. I mean, why else would old people believe Barack Obama is a secret Muslim, this country is turning into a socialist nation, liberals hate America, if we don’t fight terrorist overseas they will come to America, waterboarding isn’t torture, and universal health care will bring about the end of the world?

That’s why we need to either start drop kicking these old fuckers right in their goddamn head every time they say something stupid or tell their nurse to stop giving them their chocolate pudding during lunch. Because I’m getting sick of these gullible old twats shouting incoherent things during town-hall meetings and making white people look bad.

Plus, we need these fuckers to hurry up and die so we can get our inheritance money.

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Tags: ageism is fun, Corporate whores, Fuck you, Health care, Old people, Why can't we kill them all
Comments (8)

I don’t know if it’s swine flu or the all night stripper and cocaine party I had on Thursday, but I’m a bit under the weather . So instead of my usual post talking about how corrupt our government is, I’m going to post this video of my hero Jeremy Scahill telling Representative Jan Schakowsky and NBC’s Chuck Todd they suck at their jobs.

Side note -- I really really really fucking hate Chuck Todd. Why do I hate him? I don’t know. Maybe I’m jealous of his goatee. Or maybe it’s because he’s Robert Gibbs’s Press Secretary. Either way, I hope the guy’s plane crashes into an active volcano.

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Tags: Fuck Chuck Todd, Jeremy Scahill is my fucking hero
Comments (2)