Mon 31 Aug, 2009
If you had the chance to interview Dick Cheney after the IG Torture report came out, what would you ask him? Would you ask him how he felt about tarnishing the country’s image? Would you ask him how he felt about the hundreds of prisoners that died while in American custody? Would you ask him how scared he was about the possibility of becoming a war criminal?
If you’re Chris Wallace you don’t ask any of these hard-hitting questions. Instead you ask him these questions:
Why are you so concerned about the idea of one administration reviewing, investigating the actions of another one?
Do you think this was a political move not a law enforcement move?
The inspector general’s report which was just released from 2004 details some specific interrogations — mock executions, one of the detainees threatened with a handgun and with an electric drill, waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times. First of all, did you know that was going on?
So even these cases where they went beyond the specific legal authorization, you’re OK with it?
That’s right, instead of asking Dick Cheney about being the mastermind of America’s torture program, Chris Wallace decided to get on his knees and do his best Jenna Haze impression.
Of course Chris Wallace didn’t think he was being soft on Dick Cheney. I’m sure he thought he asked all the right questions. And I’m sure after the interview he went back to his room, turned on his TiVo, unzipped his pants and jerked off to Dick Cheney answering his tough questions.
Just like every white, redneck, stupid fucking American who thinks Dick Cheney is a true patriot.
5 Responses to “Hey Chris, how does Dick Cheney’s balls taste?
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Tags: Fuck Chris Wallace, Fuck Dick Cheney, Fuck Fox News, TortureComments (5)
ZIRGAR says:
FOX is both fair and balanced…in conveying the conservative worldview…
cft says:
In moments like this, I’m sure glad that I don’t have cable…
If I may indulge in some arm-chair analysis”
You know, for the foreseeable future (i.e.: in terms of short-term political positioning), this shit with Dick Cheney I think works largely in the Dem’s favor: the whole standing-up-for-torture thing in and of itself is not the sort of thing that majority political movements hang their hats on.
It seems like there is the serious potential, however, that problems will arise from this phenomenon in terms of long term strategy. Specifically, what I mean is that the Democratic response to Cheney’s ludicrous, self-serving cant is simply to
(1) point the finger at Cheney for being a sub-human neo-Nazi who should by all rights be six feet under just like his spiritual/intellectual/cardio-vascular forbear Hermann Goering, and
(2) proclaim the superiority of the ‘expertise’/competence of Obama administration national security oversight/appointees.
Neither of these things is bad in and of itself. They are good points and deserve to be repeated every time that Dick raises its scrotum-head. (Heh…?)
Nevertheless, they are both flawed if not supplemented sufficiently with other, stronger responses. Here are some reasons why:
a) With respect to (1), playing off of the public’s disdain/revulsion for this man risks losing a foothold in the debate once a more “palatable” candidate rears its head. For example: In the wake falsifying evidence of “WMD” leading into Iraq, the widely hated William “War Criminal & Liar” Kristol is able to continue accomplishing his goals by putting his words into the mouth of Sarah Palin. Without a strong substantive and forward-thinking Dem response, the Eichmanns at GOP Central Command will simply pull the same trick w/ VinDICKtive Cheney.
b) With respect to (2), proclaiming its superior “expertise” is basically the same fucking trap that the Dems crawl into time and time again. Again, not bad in itself, but when you lean on it too much, you’re basically asking for something to go wrong, and then lo and behold, your “experts” weren’t so “expert.”
c) As usual, the Dems are completely fucking pathetic/lackluster about explaining and celebrating opposition to the torture shit as a PATRIOTIC necessity. In other words, they’re no good at painting a picture of what democracy should look like, what moral values inform this view and, for god’s sake, the historical/Constitutional necessity of preventing the Executive Branch from accumulating sweeping autonomy/powers.
d) Lastly, instead of just talking about ‘expertise’ and whatever, they should be explaining, over and over, WHY it makes us SAFER to not have some trigger-happy cowboy like Bush or a sinister, walking, talking iron lung like Cheney. WHY it’s better not to be a bunch of fanatical pricks.
I can’t believe I’m going to use this word, because it is such a ‘management-speak’ crock of shit, but: Why can’t the Dems just be proactive, just for once??
Okay, I’ve said it. Phew.
ZIRGAR says:
Come over and get your Honest Weblog Award
Phuck Politics says:
@cft – This entire torture “debate” is complete bullshit, because this shouldn’t be a debate. We need to have a full investigation into who ordered the torture, who started the torture program, who knew about the program, and how far the program went.
But of course none of that is going to happen because everybody was in on it. Everybody knew that the orders were coming from the White House. Everybody knew what was happening to the people in Gitmo and Bagram. Everybody knew how much money was going to companies like Blackwater and Lockheed Martin and Boeing.
Everybody was in on this fucking thing and that’s why there’s not going to be an investigation. And that’s why the Democrats can’t be proactive, because they are just as guilty as the Republicans.
@Zirgar – Thank you sir for popping my award cherry.
cft says:
Everybody was in on this fucking thing and that’s why there’s not going to be an investigation. And that’s why the Democrats can’t be proactive, because they are just as guilty as the Republicans.
That’s true. I have no expectation that there’ll be a “real” investigation of anyone.
So, I guess what I mean is that it seems as though the Dems could win political points for simulating a firmer stance. Just like, say, Obama’s successful calculation re: Iraq.
Well, never mind, because it ain’t gonna happen anyway. Apart from Obama, the Dems aren’t great in the credibility department, and by these I mean even tactically/politically. Unless Obama pulls something off, the “only Nixon could go to China” principle continues to hold force:
http://cribfromthis.blogspot.com/2009/09/mccain-to-cheney-youre-wrong-asshole.html