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Awww, Bill-O didn’t like getting called out by Jon Stewart.

The difference between John Ensign and Bill Clinton is John Ensign doesn’t settle for blow jobs. [Democralypse Now]

This is what happens when you watch Glenn Beck. [Zirgar's]

Well that’s one way to get closer to God. [Toy With Me]

The Republican party is a teabag cult…god I love saying teabag. [Hullabaloo]

So how is this not terrorism? [Green Greenwald]

This makes me sad. [From the Left]

People in Virginia like to pretend they’re secret agents. [Mikeb]

Who knew dining room tables could be so stylish? [Middle of Nowhere]

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Blackwater Group Shot

First we find out Blackwater killed a couple of whistle blowers, then we find out they forced little girls to swallow soldiers’ cocks for a buck, and now we find out they were apart of the CIA’s assassination program.

The New York Times quotes current and ex-government officials as saying Blackwater helped the CIA with planning, training and surveillance.

The New York Times reports that the CIA did not have a formal contract with Blackwater for the programme to locate and kill senior members of al-Qaeda.

Instead, they had individual agreements with top officials in the firm, the paper goes on to say.

Where’s the outrage? Where are the angry mobs filling Congressional town halls and asking questions like: “Why do you continue to give my money to these evil, hateful Nazi companies? Why does Obama continue to fund these Nazi-like companies that rape and murder innocent civilians? Why do you support Obama when it comes to his Nazi military plan in Iraq? Why are you a Nazi appeaser? Why do you hate this country?”

Oh, that’s right, it’s because they’re too fucking busy bitching about the government wanting to use their tax dollars to help the sick. They’re too fucking busy screaming random shit about “death panels” and “rationing programs” to care about the billions of dollars being given to companies who are allowed to kill anyone they want without repercussions. They’re too fucking busy bitching about how America has the best health care in the world, if we don’t count France, Italy, San Marino, Andorra, Malta, Singapore, Spain, Oman, Austria, Japan, Norway, Portugal, Monaco, Greece, Iceland, Luxembourg, Netherlands, United Kingdom, Ireland, Switzerland, Belgium, Colombia, Sweden, Cyprus, Germany, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Israel, Morocco, Canada, Finland, Australia, Chile, Denmark, Dominica, and Costa Rica.

And they’re too fucking busy screaming “Heil Hitler” at a Jewish guy who’s talking about how great universal health care is.

Only in America will people scream and shout at their government for wanting to provide health care for poor people, yet sit with their thumbs up their asses when their government hands out billions of dollars in no-bid contracts to companies that smuggle illegal weapons into war zones, force innocent girls into prostitution, and form small assassination squads.

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Except there should be more cussing and you need to call their mother a whore.

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finger

Why do most Americans believe in the conservative philosophy?

Most Americans believe in small government, yet they love big cars, big houses, big explosions, big guns, big muscles, big tits, big dicks, big asses, big bank accounts, big buildings, big roller coasters, big TVs, big trucks, big vans, big dogs, big knives, big steaks, big cigars, big football players, big basketball players, big baseball players, big paychecks, big churches, big airplanes, big tanks, big jets, big bombs, big robots, big spaceships, big car crashes, and big orgasms.

Most Americans believe in being fiscally responsible, yet they waste money on worthless shit like cars, houses, boats, vacations, clothes, jewelry, watches, shoes, prostitutes, dinners, iPhones, iPods, Macs, PCs, porn DVDs, CDs, Jesus dildos, and books written by retards.

Most Americans believe in being pro-life, yet they murder doctors, lawyers, teachers, judges, nurses, homosexuals, heterosexuals, Blacks, Whites, Iraqis, Cubans, Asians, Mexicans,  Afghans,  Iranians, Russians, Germans, and Pakistanis.

Most Americans don’t follow one fucking area of the conservative philosophy, yet there are twice as many Americans who consider themselves conservative than liberal. Why?

Because most Americans would rather help some rich, powerful white Wall Street CEO buy his seventh mansion than help some poor, weak, homeless nigger get health care.

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Now I’ll never have to bath again.

I’ve got to get me one of those. [Politicus.Us]

I can’t wait until the 2012 election. [Democralypse Now]

I wouldn’t hold my breath for any answers. [Pissed On Politics]

So that’s why the DMV is so slow. [Zirgar's]

Catholics love the kids. [From the Left]

Ed. note - I will be out of town until Tuesday, and I know you’ll miss me…because I’ll miss you too :-(

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*sigh* Things were much simpler back then…

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Talking Points

Then let the Liberty Counsel, that wonderful far-right religious group that’s part of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, do it for you.

Sec. 59B, Pg. 170, Line 1 – Any NONRESIDENT alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay for their health care.)

Sec. 1177, Pg. 354 – Government will RESTRICT enrollment of special needs people! “Extension of Authority of Special Needs Plans to Restrict Enrollment.”

Sec. 1233, Pg. 425, Lines 4-12 – Government mandates Advance (Death) Care Planning consultation. Think Senior Citizens and end of life. END-OF-LIFE COUNSELING. SOME IN THE ADMINISTRATION HAVE ALREADY DISCUSSED RATIONING HEALTH CARE FOR THE ELDERLY.

Sec. 2511, Pg. 992 – Government will establish school-based “health” clinics. Your children will be indoctrinated and your grandchildren may be aborted!

It amazes me that somewhere deep in the bowels of Liberty University, a Jesus-loving, poor-people hating white guy is reading one of the seven hundred health care bills and shouts, “Holy Magical Jesus! Frank, the government is going to establish school-based health clinics that will brainwash our children into having premarital  sex in order to have abortions.

“Quick, get on the phone with all the health insurance companies and have them wire us millions of dollars while I write a list of talking points. Then we will e-mail these talking points to every white man and woman over the age of 43 and use the millions of dollars from the health insurance companies to run scary ads during their favorite TV shows.

“Of course these talking points and ads will scare them. We need these people to be scared. Universal health care isn’t something Jesus would approve. He hated helping the poor. Why do you think he threw all those people out of the temple? Exactly, he did it because they were trying to help the poor. And that’s why we need to kill Obama’s health care bill. Because if we don’t Jesus will throw us out of America.”

It must be nice not having to think for yourself….

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