Why do I waste each Sunday by watching David Gregory, Bob Schieffer, and George Stephanopoulos give Washington and Big Business a sloppy blowjob? Why do I allow my blood pressure to rise when I see John McCain being interviewed for the 37th time since he lost the presidency? Why do I cut myself every time I see George Will and his goofy fucking bowtie talking about the deficit? Why do I punch the wall every time I hear David Gregory quoting some anonymous Republican source talking about the need to increase the troops in Afghanistan by 200,000 percent?

Am I punishing myself for shoving that 78-year-old woman out of the way so I could get the last $199 laptop at Walmart during last year’s Black Friday? Or is my subconscious getting back at me for pissing on that Mercedes Benz that was blocking the entrance to my favorite strip club The Hairless Peach?

To be honest I don’t care what the reason is. I just need it to stop. I need to be able to sleep past Meet the Press , eat breakfast long enough to skip Face the Nation, and watch enough porn to miss This Week with George Stephanopoulos.

Because if I continue to watch these awful, cocksucking Sunday morning talk shows then I’m going to stab myself in the eyeballs with a rusty ice pick.

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Tags: Face the nation, Meet the Press, Sunday Talk Shows, This Week, Why do I watch these fucking shows
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I’ll be out of town for the rest of the week celebrating the genocide of Native Americans. Enjoy the links while I enjoy some scotch.

AIG cares about the little people. [Alternet]

Matt Taibbi is my hero. [Taibblog]

You’re only supposed to support the president if he’s a Republican. [Pissed On Politics]

I knew there was something I didn’t like about the Family Research Council. [The Rude Pundit]

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Tags: Does anyone else find it weird that we celebrate the Native American holocaust, link dump, Thanksgiving
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And they don’t even care about it:

NBC News chief Pentagon correspondent Jim Miklaszewski aired a clip of NBC News military analyst and retired Gen. Barry R. McCaffrey’s criticism of a “definitive exit strategy” from Afghanistan “with a timeline.” At no point during the segment did McCaffrey, Miklaszewski, or guest anchor Lester Holt disclose McCaffrey’s ties to DynCorp International — a company under contract to provide support to U.S. bases in Afghanistan for up to five years, as well as to train the Afghanistan National Police and the Ministry of Interior.

This is worse than Fox News asking John Bolton or Michelle Malkin’s opinion on Afghanistan. Why? Because everyone with half a brain knows that John Bolton and Michelle Malkin’s opinions don’t sway the American people as much as a retired general’s.

You see, most Americans are taught that people who serve in the military are heroes and they can do no wrong, tell no lies, and are always looking out for the countries best interest.

So when NBC brings this  corporate whore on to talk about Obama’s alleged Afghan strategy without disclosing his ties to DynCorp (the same DynCorp that sells and fucks little children) or explaining to their viewers his part in the propaganda program the Pentagon used to drum up support for the second Gulf War or reminding their viewers that during the first Gulf War he murdered retreating Iraqis after a cease fire was declared or informing their viewers that he was responsible for offering millions of additional advertising dollars to networks that embedded anti-drug messages in their programming then they are worse than Fox News.

So remember this the next time you’re sitting on your couch watching MSNBC and thinking how you’re more informed than the ignorant fucks that watch Fox News because you’re getting information about Afghanistan from a respected retired general while they’re getting information about Afghanistan from some crazy foreign looking woman.

Because both of you are getting false information, but only one of you has something nice to jerk-off too.

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Tags: Barry McCaffery, Everything on TV is bullshit, Fox News, NBC
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I wonder what they were talking about:

President Barack Obama called his war council together Monday as he moves toward a decision on whether to add more U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said he’s not aware of any more such strategy sessions being scheduled, the latest signal that Obama is closing in on a revamped war strategy after several weeks of review. Gibbs said the soonest Obama would announce a decision would be next week.

Commanding Gen. Stanley McChrystal has said more U.S. forces were needed to head off a U.S. failure in the fight against Taliban militants in Afghanistan. He has recommended about 40,000 additional troops.

I like to think that Obama and company were coming up with clever ways of telling Gen. McChrystal to go blow a homeless tranny while making plans for getting our soldiers out of Afghanistan.  I also like to think that they were discussion how to spend the trillions of dollars they’re going to save by pulling out of Iraq and Afghanistan on social programs like health care, education, feeding the hungry, and providing housing for the houseless.

Damn, I really need to stop smoking and drinking, because it makes me sound like an annoying idealist.

This is how the meeting really went: Obama got down on his knees and took a load of Gen. McChrystal’s troops right in the mouth. Then he snowballed those salty fuckers into Hillary’s mouth while approving 34,000 additional troops. After Hillary swallowed Gen. McChrystal’s soldiers, Obama and company wrote the speech he’s going to give the American people next week. Then once the speech was finished everybody went home and burned a sack of thousand dollar bills the defense industry gave them in front of thirty homeless people, because the tears of the homeless helps them sleep better at night.

Christ, I need another drink.

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Tags: Afghanistan, Each soldier we send over to Afghanistan costs the taxpayer 1 million dollars, Obama, Troop Increase, War on Terror
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Because I thought they hated shit like this:

Leading Indian outsourcers such as Tata Consultancy (Bombay:TCS.BO – News), Infosys (Bombay:INFY.BO – News) and Wipro (Bombay:WIPR.BO – News) stand to gain contracts worth about $1 billion in the next one or two years as U.S. banks emerge from the troubled asset relief program, the Economic Times reported on Monday.

he newspaper said JPMorgan (NYSE:JPM – News), Goldman Sachs (NYSE:GS – News) and Morgan Stanley (NYSE:MS – News) that received approval to buy back government stake worth $68 billion earlier this year are among the firms seeking operational efficiencies by outsourcing non-core IT and back-office projects to India.

Oh, that’s right, they’re too busy protesting health care. And death panels. And communism. And socialism. And Marxism. And anarchism. And Islamofascism. And Nancy Pelosi. And  Harry Reid. And CNN. And MSNBC. And global warming. And the cap-and-trade bill. And the hate crime bill. And gay marriage. And illegal immigrants. And closing Gitmo. And withdrawing from Afghanistan. And trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in New York. And the mistreatment of Sarah Palin by the ‘Liberal Media’.

Did I leave anything out?

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Tags: Bailouts, Goldman Sachs, I wonder if those crazy fucks bitched about trying Timothy McVeigh in Oklahoma, JPMorgan, Teabaggers
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I have a new favorite musician.

Lou Dobbs is crazier than my grandfather. [Democralypse Now]

Sarah Palin’s made out of meat. Does that mean we get to eat her too? [Zirgar's]

Geithner won’t resign, and Obama won’t fire him. I wish I had his job. [From The Left]

I’m surprised I didn’t see this before. [The Middle Of Nowhere]

I can’t stand those goddamn liberals at The Washington Times. [Crib From This]

Elizabeth Warren is fucking amazing. [Digby]

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Tags: I hope everyone that watches the new Twilight movie dies of AIDS, Katy Perry, link dump
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Because my life would be so empty without them.

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Tags: I can't believe that dude went out in public like that, I wonder if that girl puts out on the first date, Sarah Palin, Stupid Americans
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