Naw, I’m just fucking with you. He’s probably embarrassed :

There’s a new slogan making its way onto car bumpers and across the Internet. It reads simply: “Pray for Obama: Psalm 109:8”

A nice sentiment?

Maybe not.

The psalm reads, “Let his days be few; and let another take his office.”

Presidential criticism through witty slogans is nothing new. Bumper stickers, t-shirts, and hats with “1/20/09” commemorated President Bush’s last day in office.

But the verse immediately following the psalm referenced is a bit more ominous: “Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.”

Someone please help me out, because I’m confused with this religion stuff. Alright, now if you’re a Christian then that means you believe in Jesus Christ, right? And if you believe in Jesus Christ then you follow the New Testament, right? Then why the fuck are these Christians quoting the Old Testament?

See, I always thought that Jesus taught his followers to love their enemies. But I’m not getting that vibe from these people. They seem to get off on the whole ‘eye for an eye’ thing. Which is fine if they practiced Judaism. But they don’t, and that pisses me off.

Why? Because they’re able to do/say awful things to people they don’t like because of the Old Testament while not feeling guilty about it because of the New Testament. And it’s fucking bullshit.

Either pick the Old Testament or the New Testament, Judaism or Christianity, you crazy fucks, because you can’t have both. You can’t claim gay people are evil because of some verse in Leviticus and then say you’re free from sin because of some verse in Mathew…wait, I’ve never heard those shitheads quoting Matthew. Or any other New Testament verse besides Revelation.

So how the fuck do these people claim to be Christians? And why the fuck do people call them Christians?

Goddammit, this shit is a thousands times more confusing than watching Lost on LSD.

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Tags: I don't understand religion, Obama, Religion, Stupid people piss me off, White People
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Here’s the transcript for those who can’t watch the video:

Hi, my name is Robert Erickson and Im really excited to be here. Its people like all of you, and events like this that make our country great! Give yourselves a round of applause!

I just want to talk about a couple themes this afternoon because I love this country and I want to see America be the best place it can be.

Mr. Gutierrez is getting ready to propose an immigration bill in just a few short days, and we have to make sure he knows that we want a bill thats tough on immigration. Now is the time for us to stand up and make our voices heard!

In Minneapolis, where Im from, we have a huge immigrant population thats been causing a number of problems. With the economy in recession, and so many people getting laid off, and unable to find work, immigrants should not be competing for the few jobs that are out there. Its just not fair to the folks who have a claim to this land and the right to be here. All across America, they are contributing to the flooding of our job markets making it hard for Americans to find jobs. Well Im fed up and its time to let our politicians know that enough is enough, and were not gonna take it any more!

We need to secure our borders to protect our country. We need to restore order and put an end to the anarchy thats sweeping the nation. We need tougher immigration laws to make sure that we send these people back where they came from. We need to protect the sovereignty of the real Americans. We need to hold our politicians accountable.

Its no secret that with an invasion of immigrants, comes waves of crime. We see them involved in massive theft, in murder, and bringing diseases like smallpox, which is responsible for the death of millions of Americans. These arent new problems though, they have been going on for hundreds of years, and continue to this day.

I say its time for us to say enough is enough! Are you with me? Are you with me? Lets send these European immigrants back where they came from! I dont care if they are Polish, Irish, English, Italian, or Norwegian! European immigrants are responsible for the most violent and heinus crimes in the history of the world, including genocide and slavery! Its time to restore the sovereignty of people native to this land! I want more workplace raids, starting with the big banks downtown. There are thousands of illegals working in those buildings, hiding in their offices, and taking Dakota jobs. Let’s round them up and ship them out. Then we need to hit them at home where they sleep, I dont care if we separate families, they should have known better when they came here illegally!

If we aren’t able to stand up to these European immigrants, who can we stand up to? We need to send every one of them back home, right now.

Thank you very much, and well see you in the streets!

Columbus go home! Columbus go home! Columbus go home!

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Tags: Illegal immigration, Robert Erickson, Stupid white people, Tea Baggers
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So invading two countries on false pretenses, slaughtering hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, increasing infant birth defects by 15 percent, and holding civilians for years without charges doesn’t endanger American soldiers, but releasing 21 torture pictures will?

Defense Secretary Robert Gates has blocked the public release of any more pictures of foreign detainees abused by their U.S. captors, saying their release would endanger American soldiers.

Jesus Christ Gates, do you think we’re that fucking stupid? We know that every person that lives in the Middle East wants to chop off an American soldier’s head and shit down his/her neck because of the damage they’re doing. Which means the release of these photos has nothing to do with endangering American soldiers’ lives, and has everything to do with covering up the war crimes our government has committed.

And you can’t let that happen, because then our government won’t be able to continue its favorite pastime: telling other countries they need to prosecute their citizens for war crimes.

That’s why you can’t release these pictures of our soldiers raping men, women, and children with broom sticks, gun barrels, and cocks. Because once the world sees those horrific pictures then our government would have to investigate.

And if there’s one thing our government hates it’s doing its fucking job.

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Tags: Afghanistan War, Iraq War, Obama's a pussy, Robert Gates, Robert Gates is full of shit, Torture
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H/T to Laci the Dog for this amazing Cracked article. [Cracked]

Sarah Palin’s new book is full of lies? Well color me shocked. [Yahoo]

Rick Perry is fucking crazy. [Democralypse Now]

Just another reason why I hate Sesame Street. [Middle of Nowhere]

When will this happen in the South? [Reuters]

This makes no fucking sense. [Progressive Puppy]

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Tags: Bill O'Reilly, link dump, When can I get my own fucking show
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Tags: CNN, How did this silver cum rag get a show, Wolf Blitzer
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Is it sad that this doesn’t surprise me?

Top executives at Blackwater Worldwide authorized secret payments of about $1 million to Iraqi officials that were intended to silence their criticism and buy their support after a September 2007 episode in which Blackwater security guards fatally shot 17 Iraqi civilians in Baghdad, according to former company officials.

Of course it isn’t. Why? Because this is what Blackwater does. They take billions of taxpayers’ dollars in no-bid contracts, kill hundreds of innocent Iraqi civilians, and then bribe those Iraqi civilians they didn’t kill with, you guessed it, taxpayers’ dollars.

But they aren’t alone. KBR, Halliburton, Dyncorp, and Boeing do it too. They all use taxpayers’ dollars to get rich and fuck over Americans.

Yet people don’t care. They don’t care about the billions given to all of these corrupt business. They don’t care about human trafficking, gun trafficking, child prostitution, torture, rape, and murder being committed in their name.

But they do care about ACORN. And they do care about a retarded Alaskan politician that says the government is trying to kill old people.

Which is sad, because I find killing old people a fantastic idea.

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Tags: Blackwater, Iraqi War, Sarah Palin, War on Terror
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How else would you explain this?

Defense contractor KBR may have exposed as many as 100,000 people, including US troops, to cancer-causing toxins by burning waste in open-air pits in Iraq, says a series of class-action lawsuits filed against the company.

The plaintiffs filing the lawsuits say they have suffered from health problems ranging in seriousness from shortness of breath to cancer. Russell Keith, a paramedic from Huntsville, Alabama, told the Senate Democratic Policy Committee his doctors believe his development of Parkinson’s disease was triggered by 15 months of daily exposure to the burn pits at Joint Base Balad in Iraq. Another plaintiff claims to have developed kidney disease as a result of exposure.

So, when will the teabaggers cry out to their corporate masters about passing legislation revoking KBR’s federal funding?

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Tags: Iraq, KBR, Stupid shits, Teabaggers
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