Fri 23 Jul, 2010
Just been packing. I had know idea how much shit a woman could accumulate. I blame porn for failing to teach me this critical lesson. So I’ll be out of commission until late Thursday night. Sorry, small town internet service sucks goat anus. Until then you should try to catch up on this shit. Trust me.
Tags: I Hate It, Moving, My Wife As Too Much ShitWed 21 Jul, 2010
This man gets my dick hard. I just wish he was in the Senate so he could show Michael Bennet and Mark Udall how not to be huge fucking pussies.
Tags: Alan Grayson, Michael Bennet and Mark Udall Can Go Choke On A Pig CockMon 19 Jul, 2010
I bet Joe Biden loved busting a nut on that boyish face.
Looks like I need to break out the ol’ knee pads.
CNN White House correspondent Ed Henry has won election as the next president of the White House Correspondents Association, FishbowlDC reports. Henry got a whopping 186 votes of the 243 ballots cast (three were ruled invalid. Dangling chads maybe?)
Henry also won the Association’s television seat with 198 votes. This is for the 2012-2013 term.
One of the issues the WHCA has not yet resolved is who gets Helen Thomas’ front row briefing room seat. Both Fox News Channel and Bloomberg News are vying for the seat. As TVNewser reported last month, Henry is going to support Fox News for the seat.
Come on guys, really? You don’t know who Ed Henry is? He’s the guy who took this video of Joe Biden sliding down a water slide, and this picture of Rahm Emanuel playing grab ass with Mrs. Biden. Geez.
Now what I want to know is who gave Ed Henry the idea of supporting Fox News, a major ally of Israel, for Helen Thomas’s front row seat?
Side note: Once Fox News gets the front row seat does this mean they’re officially apart of the Mainstream media?
Tags: Cocking Sucking Assholes, Ed Henry, I'll Be Drinking Some Whiskey If Anyone Needs Me, Joe BidenThu 15 Jul, 2010
Posting is going to be a little off schedule for the rest of the week. Why? Because I’m training for a new job. That’s right. I can finally stop giving 5 dollar hand jobs. Praise Jeebus.
Tags: Goddamn Heather Graham is fine, New Job, Site NewsTue 13 Jul, 2010
The Coast Guard will finally let us see how fucked up the Gulf is:
National Incident Commander Admiral Thad Allen today announced new procedures to allow media free travel within the 20-meter boom safety zones if they have followed simple procedures for credentialing, and provided they follow certain rules and guidelines.
“I have put out a direction that the press are to have clear, unfettered access to this event, with two exceptions — if there is a safety or security concern,” said Allen. “This boom is critical to the defense of the marshes and the beaches.”
“We need to discriminate between media, which have a reason to be there and somebody who’s hanging around when we know that we’ve had equipment vital to this region damaged,” Allen said.Previously, media were required to contact local authorities each time they wished to access booming operations. The 20-meter safety zone was created to prevent boats from going over the top of booms; it is not intended to limit media access.
This step will further expand media access to frontlines of the BP oil spill response, and ensure that media representatives have the access they need to report this historic response-while maintaining the effectiveness of more than 560 miles of protective boom currently deployed to protect sensitive shorelines along the Gulf Coast.
Now instead of reading stories about how reporters aren’t allowed to report on the oil spill (here’s an example, and here’s another one, and another one, and – wait, what’s this? – another one); I can read stories about how fucked we all are.
Isn’t life grand?
Tags: BP, Coast Guard, Oil Spill, The Gulf is FuckedMon 12 Jul, 2010
I don’t know about you but I love how my tax dollars are funding a war where we’re fighting the guys we supported and trained in the 1980s. I also love how we’ve replaced a general that ran secret torture prisons with a general that authorized the use of white phosphorus in a battle that killed hundreds if not thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians.
Tags: Afghan War, America hates brown people, Iraq War, James Mattis, War on TerrorThu 8 Jul, 2010
Hey NSA, good luck trying to find me.
Great, now I have to hide my porn from the government and my wife.
The US National Security Agency (NSA) is embarking on a secret domestic surveillance project dubbed “Perfect Citizen”, intended to monitor and protect important national infrastructure such as power grids and transport systems.
The Wall Street Journal, citing unnamed government and industry sources, says that the NSA has awarded a “black” (classified) $100m contract to defence contractor Raytheon which will see secret monitoring equipment installed within US networks deemed to be of national importance.
According to the WSJ, Perfect Citizen has caused some disquiet among those in the know. It could be seen as the NSA – a military combat support agency whose focus is supposed to be on external threats – carrying out massive automated surveillance of American companies and citizens. The paper quotes an internal Raytheon email as saying that “Perfect Citizen is Big Brother”.
“THEY CAME FIRST for the dirty books at the library,
and I didn’t speak up because I didn’t check out dirty books at the library.
THEN THEY CAME for the phone sex calls,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t making phone sex calls.
THEN THEY CAME for the softcore porn,
and I didn’t speak up because I didn’t watch softcore porn.
THEN THEY CAME for my hardcore Japanese tentacle porn,
and by that time no one was left to speak up.”
