But I agree with Barack Obama.

In a dramatic, high-profile reversal for his young administration, President Barack Obama is seeking to block the release of 44 photographs depicting abuse of detainees in U.S. military custody in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“The publication of these photos would not add any additional benefit to our understanding of what was carried out in the past by small number of individuals,” the president told reporters Wednesday as he left the White House on a two-day trip to the Southwest.

“In fact,’ he said, “the most direct consequence of releasing them, I believe, would be to further inflame anti-American opinion and to put our troops in greater danger.”

Look, I know I’m going to get a few angry emails about agreeing with Barack Obama, but let’s use logic for a moment.  Once the Muslim world sees these horrific pictures of us waterboarding detainees, slamming their heads into walls, slicing their genitals, and electrocuting them -  they’re going to be pissed.  And who are the Muslims going to take it out on?

That’s right, the men and women overseas protecting the freedoms we take for granted.

Sure, Barack Obama could protect our soldiers by forcing the military to stop bombing small villages and killing hundreds of innocent civilians.  And sure, Barack Obama could also protect our soldiers by forcing the military to stop using chemical weapons against innocent civilians.  And yes, Barack Obama could protect our soldiers by forcing them to stop handing out Bibles.  But come on, let’s be realistic here, if Barack Obama stopped doing any of these things then the terrorist win.

And Barack Obama knows that terrorist cannot be allowed to win.  But he also knows the only way America can win the support of the Muslim world is by not showing these torture pictures.

Because anyone who knows anything about Muslims knows the one thing that pisses them off the most isn’t the unjustified occupation, the murdering of innocent civilians, the raping of innocent women, the torture, the destruction of their villages, and the economic collapse of their nation – it’s photographs of enhanced interrogation techniques….

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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Barack Obama is a pussy, Iraq, Torture, Torture Pictures
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Thank you for your journalistic integrity.  While other news organizations were busy reporting about Goldman Sachs taking over the world and how Nancy Pelosi is trying to block investigations of corrupt Democrats, you were busy reporting stories the American people wanted to know about.  Stories like this:

It’s a first lady faux pas — wearing expensive, high-fashion French designer sneakers to a food bank.

Michelle Obama wore the sneakers, made by Lanvin, while helping feed the poor at a Washington food bank on Wednesday. The pricetag on the footwear? A cool $540.

Where else would Americans learn about the First Lady flaunting her money in the face of the poor?   MSNBC?  Please. Those liberal cunts are too busy trying to make Barack Obama look good so they can make billions of dollars off of  some carbon deal.

And you could’ve tried to spin this story in Michelle Obama’s favor.  You could’ve talked about how she was helping the poor.  Or you could’ve talked about how she was trying to shed light on how the economy is forcing more people into homeless shelters.  Or you could’ve talked about how she was trying to show the world how the poor are getting poorer while the rich are getting richer.

But that’s what those cocksuckers at CNN are for.

And unlike those lefty “news stations” and blogs, you give the other side a chance to comment on your stories.

According to the New York Daily News, the first lady of style likely got her sneakers through Ikram, the Chicago retailer that usually outfits her.

The White House did not return a message seeking comment.

So keep up the good work Fox News.  Because without you, the American people might actually have to learn something.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Fuck Fox News, fuck Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama, Poor People, Who cares about them?
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Because the Democrats are one step closer to a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.

Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter will switch his party affiliation from Republican to Democrat and announced today that he will run in 2010 as a Democrat, according to a statement he released this morning.

Specter’s decision would give Democrats a 60 seat filibuster proof majority in the Senate assuming Democrat Al Franken is eventually sworn in as the next senator from Minnesota. (Former senator Norm Coleman is appealing Franken’s victory in the state Supreme Court.)

Suck on that you stupid fucking Republicans.  With Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats will finally be able to fix the shit George Bush broke while he was in office.

With Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats can finally withdraw all our troops from the Middle East.  What?  Arlen Specter supports the Iraq and Afghanistan wars?  Alright, I guess that’s okay.  I mean, he’s entitled to his opinion.

But anyways, with Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats can finally help the unions.  What?   Arlen Specter’s against helping the unions?  Alright, I don’t understand, but who am I to judge?  I mean, maybe he has a good reason for it, I don’t know.

But, um, with Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats can finally regulate Wall Street.  What?   Arlen Specter’s one of the biggest Wall Street campaign recipients?

Goddammit.  Why the fuck did Arlen Specter switch to the Democratic party when his views are aligned with the Republican party?

Specter told reporters that he received a “bleak” poll Friday from his advisers that showed virtually no chance of him winning in the GOP primary next spring against Pat Toomey, a former Republican House member who recently led the conservative Club for Growth.

Are you fucking serious?  This cock sucker changed parties because he was about to lose his goddamn job?

God-fucking-dammit.

Why can’t normal people get away with the shit politicians do?  Why can’t someone who’s about to get fired go, “You know what?  I don’t feel like losing my job today, so I’ve decided to become the CEO and do the firing.”  Why can’t someone who wants some information go, “You know what?  I think that guy is banging my wife, so I’m going to tell my paperboy to strap him to a table and waterboard his ass until I get an answer.”  Why can’t someone who’s about to go bankrupt go, “You know what?  I don’t feel like being broke, so I’m going to create a failing business and get the government to bail me out with billions of dollars that I don’t have to pay back.”

Why do these rich, white stupid-ass motherfuckers get to make up the rules as they go along to benefit them, while they force every other poor son of a bitch to play by the first set of rules and continue to get fucked over?

For the love of God, could we please, PLEASE, have a crazy person storm the Capital while Congress is in session and blow these motherfuckers away?  For fuck’s sake, these are the assholes who are screwing you over.  Not illegal immigrants.

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Tags: Arlen Spector, Barack Obama, Democrats, Republicans, What a huge pussy
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We’re all fucked.

Health officials around the world worked to contain what appears to be a spreading swine flu outbreak early Monday, while one out of every five residents of Mexico’s most populous city wore masks to protect themselves against the virus.

Mexico seems to be the epicenter of the outbreak, where as many as 103 deaths are thought to have been caused by swine flu, the country’s health minister said. An additional 1,614 reported cases have been reported in the country.

So far, however, only 18 cases have been confirmed by laboratory tests in Mexico and reported to the World Health Organization.

The United States stepped up preparations for a possible epidemic of the virus after 20 cases were confirmed, and Canada announced its first cases of the virus Sunday — six mild cases.

How does this happen?  How does a deadly virus like this spread throughout the world when we’re living in the most medically advanced period in human history?  (I’m sure some people will say the Spanish flu happened during the most medically advanced period in human history, and those people can choke to death on a horse’s cock.)

I have a theory, and it doesn’t involve the Republicans slashing 900 million dollars from the stimulus budget for pandemic preparation.

But before I get to my theory, I need present the facts.

FACT:

On April 16, President Obama went down to Mexico to support the Mexican government in its fight against the drug cartels.  During a break at a press conference, the Mexican President Felipe Calderon leans over and whispers to Obama, “Come on Mr. President, just legalized the goddamn drugs so we can end this stupid fucking war.  For Christ’s sake, you fucking smoked weed.  How bad can it be?”

President Obama laughs and whispers back, “Naw man, I don’t do that anymore.  Besides, this drug war thingy is making a lot of powerful people extremely rich.  If I fuck with them, then they fuck with me and I can’t fucking have that.  But don’t worry about the drug cartels.  I’ve got a plan.”

FACT:

Felipe presses Obama for more information but doesn’t get any.  Felipe calls Obama a “stupid nigger” under his breath.

FACT:

On April 23 the Washington Post informs the public that the military “lost” a horse virus with a Spanish name.   Its symptoms include a mild flu-like illness but can also cause brain inflammation and death.

Now here’s my theory.

While Obama was getting a sloppy Mexican blow job from Felipe Calderon, a team of Navy Seals parachuted into a small Mexican village where the notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquin Guzman was rumored to be banging some 13-year-old girl.   The Seals administered the “lost” virus to the entire village through some sort of new C4-like explosion device and then left.  The virus takes between 3 to 7 days to infected its victim, giving Obama enough time to cum in  Felipe’s mouth and get home before Michelle suspects anything.

Obama then gives out the antidote to Texas, California, Kansas, Ohio, and New York since he knows people in those states will get infected.  After those states administer the antidote to the people who will get sick, Obama then will create a massive panic and will swiftly move to create an One World Government which will enslave humanity forever.

I’m just fucking with you.  There’s no way Barack Obama would use a chemical weapon to take out a drug lord in Mexico so he could create an one world government.  That’s just crazy.

Everybody knows this swine flu pandemic is just a globial cover-up for the impending zombie apocalypse.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Felipe Calderón, Mexico, Swine Flu, War on Drugs, We're all going to die
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Looks like Iraq is starting to see some improvements.  Naw, I’m just fucking with ya.

Suicide bombers in Iraq launched two deadly attacks Thursday, killing at least 55 people in Diyala province and at least 28 people in Baghdad, an Interior Ministry official said.

Four other people were killed in two other incidents, making Thursday the deadliest day in Iraq this year, with at least 87 dead and more than 120 wounded.

Jesus Christ.  87 people killed in one day?  Do you think those people are counted toward the 87,215 Iraqi citizens that have been killed since 2005?

What am I talking about?  Who the fuck cares about the number of Iraqi citizens killed in this war?  We have a job to do.

We have to continue to pour billions of dollars into Iraq.  We have to continue to risk our soldiers’ lives in a war based on lies.  We have to continue to kick down random Iraqis’ doors and kidnap them.  We have to continue to torture Iraqis for information about upcoming attacks they know nothing about.  We have to continue to spread democracy throughout the Middle East.

We have to continue to fuck over Americans by not providing them with health care, better education, better housing, more food, and more jobs.  We have to continue to sacrifice for those people who are profiting from this war.  We have to continue to give up our freedoms for the illusion of safety.  We have to continue to ignore how much our government doesn’t care about us.

We have to continue to stand by and do nothing as our nation collapses before our eyes.

Update:  Looks like things are continuing to get better.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Iraq, War on Terror, We are so fucked, White House
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We finally have enough information about torture to start arresting motherfuckers.

CIA Inspector General John Helgerson raised concerns in a 2004 top-secret report his office prepared about the legality of the interrogation techniques agency interrogators used against admitted 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

In the report, Helgerson concluded that the CIA’s “enhanced interrogation” program “appeared to constitute cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment, as defined by the International Convention Against Torture” and the interrogation of Mohammed “could expose agency officers to legal liability,” according to a Nov. 9, 2005 report published in the New York Times.

Now, thanks to the release last week of four Justice Department “torture” memos Helgerson’s concerns make sense.

Fuck yeah.  Let’s go after those bitches who did this shit in our name.  Let’s go after those bitches who waterboarded Khalid Sheik Mohammed 183 times in a month.  Let’s go after those bitches who electrocuted detainees’ genitals with car batteries.  Let’s go after those bitches who slammed detainees’ heads into walls.  Let’s go President Obama, I want fucking justice and I want it now.

What?  He isn’t going to go after those bitches who did this shit?  Why not?

“This is a time for reflection, not retribution,” Obama said in a statement. “We have been through a dark and painful chapter in our history. But at a time of great challenges and disturbing disunity, nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past.”

Alright, well um, I’m sure President Obama has a good reason for it.  I mean, if he went after those bitches who did this, then the CIA would withhold important information about future attacks.  And President Obama doesn’t want that to happen because it puts the American people at risk.  Of course he could just tell the CIA how fucking childish they’re acting, but he’s trying to be diplomatic about this.  So I’m going to give President Obama the benefit of the doubt.

But this means Obama’s going to go after the big dogs.   The ones who allowed those bitches to use torture.  Bush, Cheney, Yoo, Bybee, Gonzales, and Rumsfeld.  These are the motherfuckers that allowed this shit to happen.  Let’s go Obama.  Let Lady Justice strap on her 13-inch colorless dildo and  butt fuck these evil, sadistic cunts.

Goddammit.  Are you serious?  What excuse has he given now?

President Barack Obama does not intend to prosecute Bush administration officials who devised the policies that led to the harsh interrogation of suspected terrorists, White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said Sunday.

Asked Sunday on ABC’s “This Week” about the fate of those officials, Emanuel said the president believes they “should not be prosecuted either and that’s not the place that we go.”

This man is a fucking pussy.  The Democrats are fucking pussies.  The Republicans spent an entire decade prosecuting a Democratic president for getting a blow job in the Oval Office, yet the Democrats shove their thumbs up their asses when a Republican president signs off on the torture of thousands of people.

And why hasn’t the media done anything about this?  Why hasn’t some reporter ask, “Yeah, um, Mr. President – these guys broke the law and tortured the shit out of a bunch of colored people.  Why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

Oh that’s right, it’s because the media is to busy talking about Obama shaking hands with some dickbag.

But let’s be honest, this nation really doesn’t care about how we treat colored people during war.  I mean, out of the many wars we’ve fought, this nation only cares about how we treat our enemies when they’re white.  Like in the American Revolution, the Civil War, WWI, WW2, and the Cold War.

The rest of the wars – the Indian Wars, the Mexican-American War, the Spanish-American War, the U.S. Intervention in Samoan Civil War, the U.S.-Philippine War, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the U.S. Invasion of Grenada, the U.S. Invasion of Panama, the first Iraq War, the Kosovo War, and the second Iraq War – were against colored people, and we did some really fucked up things to those color people.

So I don’t know why I’m upset about Obama’s decision.  I guess it’s because instead of a white man not caring about what we do to colored people, it’s a black man that doesn’t care about what we do to colored people.

But what the fuck can I do about it?  Not a goddamn thing.  So instead of getting angry at how fucked up our government is, and how they don’t give a shit about anyone who isn’t rich, white, and powerful – I’m going to go smoke a bowl and jerk off to some internet porn. You know, to relieve some anger….

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Tags: Barack Obama, CIA, Torture, What a bunch of pussies, White House
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First the bad news.

Five men dead in an apartment. In a county that might see five homicides in an entire year, the call over the sheriff’s radio revealed little about what awaited law enforcement at a sprawling apartment complex.

The five dead men lay scattered about the living room of one apartment in a complex of hundreds.

Some of the men showed signs of torture: Burns seared into their earlobes revealed where modified jumper cables had been clamped as an improvised electrocution device. Adhesive from duct tape used to bind the victims still clung to wrists and faces, from mouths to noses.

As a final touch, throats were slashed open, post-mortem.

The drug war, with the savagery it brings, knows no bounds. It had landed in his back yard, in the foothills of the Appalachians, in Alabama’s wealthiest county, around the corner from The Home Depot.

Holy shit.  Torture, murder, and drugs?  All in Alabama’s wealthiest and whitest county?  This can’t be good.  How the fuck are we going to defeat these evil drug dealers?

Good news, President Obama has the solution.

The White House and Congress want to see more drug courts, and increased funding for the program 250 percent in the spending bill signed in March.

It’s a campaign pledge that the Obama administration thinks will give nonviolent offenders “a chance to serve their sentence, where appropriate, in the type of drug rehabilitation programs that have proven to work better than a prison term in changing bad behavior,” according to the White House Web site.

That’s right.  The Obama plan does not call for legalizing marijuana and ending the drug war.   It calls for more spending and forcing people into rehab.

This man is a fucking genius.  I mean, who cares if the typical success rate in the drug rehab field is between 2 and 20 percent?  Who cares if the average cost of rehab is 7,000 dollars a month?  And who cares if the 12-step program is just another way for religious fanatics to force Christianity down your goddamn throat?

We’ve got to stop this drug war, and Barack Obama has the plan.  And you know what?  I trust him.  Because he’s not like George Bush.  He actually cares about America.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Drug War, George Bush, What a stupid asshole
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