Bill O’Reilly |

Sat 14 Nov, 2009

Phuck Politics’ Weekly Link Dump – Did Bill O’Reilly Really Say That Edition

H/T to Laci the Dog for this amazing Cracked article. [Cracked]

Sarah Palin’s new book is full of lies? Well color me shocked. [Yahoo]

Rick Perry is fucking crazy. [Democralypse Now]

Just another reason why I hate Sesame Street. [Middle of Nowhere]

When will this happen in the South? [Reuters]

This makes no fucking sense. [Progressive Puppy]

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Tags: Bill O'Reilly, link dump, When can I get my own fucking show
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Tue 20 Jan, 2009

Things I want to see happen today

Obama's Inauguration crowd

Today marks the day that Barack Obama gets sworn in as President of the United States and since this huge jerk-off festival is costing taxpayers 150 million dollars, I feel like I have a say in what goes on. So here is a list of things that better happen today or the next time I travel up to Washington, I’m going to leave a flaming plastic bag of my shit on the front steps of the White House.

Barack Obama wearing an all white business suit that makes P. Diddy jealous.
Sean Hannity telling Barack Obama’s kids that Santa Claus isn’t real, then licking their face so he can taste their tears.
Barack Obama executing whoever hired Garth Brooks to sing on Monday.
Garth Brooks being beheaded by Lil Wayne and Jack Black.
A gay transvestite Puerto Rican midget punching Rick Warren in the nuts then announcing they’re lovers.
Nancy Pelosi stripped of her Speaker of the House status and pushed down the Capital steps.
Beyonce giving Barack Obama a lap dance while Jay-z weeps in a corner.
Dick Cheney getting stabbed in the heart by a homeless WWII veteran.
The announcement that marijuana is now legal.
George Bush dying in plane crash.
Bill O’Reilly getting caught on his knees tossing Barney Frank’s salad.
Glenn Beck getting hit by a bus.
News that the new bailout money will go directly to the American people.
And…Barack Obama agreeing to deport my old computer science teacher because he’s a dick.

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Tags: Bailout, Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Captial Hill, Fox News, Inauguration, Nancy Pelosi, Rick Warren, Sean Hannity, Washington D.C
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Fri 26 Dec, 2008

Did you hear that?

Jesus just made the Christian Right cum in their pants.

Israel moved closer to invading Gaza, saying Thursday it had wrapped up preparations for a broad offensive after Palestinian militants fired about 100 rockets and mortar shells across the border in two days.

Fuck yea baby. Jews versus Muslims. Armageddon. It’s about fucking time Pat Robinson, Jerry Falwell, Rob Parsley, John Hagee, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, John McCain, George Bush, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Rudy Giuliani, and Rush Limbaugh were right.

I want to see chaos. I want to see Israelis soldiers beat the shit out of innocent Palestinians while suicidal Palestinians blow up innocent Israelis. I want to see tanks and airplanes flying everywhere blowing shit up. I want to see houses burst into flames and bodies flying through the air.

Why? Because I’m all for people blowing themselves up in the name of a peaceful, loving god. Plus I want to see how the Right Wing will act.

I want to see them crowd around their brand new 47-inch LCD TV listening to whoever is on Fox News talk about how this is the end of the world. I want to see religious men struggle to run home with their pants around their ankles while they masturbate so fast that their dicks start to smoke as they think about the destruction their God is doing. I want to see female Sunday school teachers knuckle deep in their snatch as they get on their knees to tell God how proud they are of Him and ask Him to kill all those who don’t believe that He is the supreme ruler of the universe.

I want this to happen because I’m going to cum buckets when I see the look on a religious person’s face when he/she finally realize that their fucking God is a fake and they brought this stupid, fucking, petty war on themselves.

Then I hope they kill themselves because they’re worthless pieces of shit. Stupid fucking cunts…

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Tags: Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney, Fox News, Israel, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Palestinian, Rudy Giuliani, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity
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Wed 24 Dec, 2008

Happy Birthday

Since it’s Jesus’ birthday, I thought I would share with you a list of people I hope die in an electrical fire as they sing O Come, All Ye Faithful.

Bill Clinton

Hillary Clinton

Sean Hannity

Alan Comes

Pope Benedict

Sarah Palin

Chris Berman

Kurt Herbstreit

Zac Efron

Stephenie Meyer

The creator, cast and crew of Grey’s Anatomy

My 5th grade teacher