Canada |

Since this story is on the Drudge Report and the guy who runs that site is fucking crazier than that preacher who screams at college students, you might not believe him. But you can’t deny how badass this sounds:

A leading Russian political analyst has said the economic turmoil in the United States has confirmed his long-held view that the country is heading for collapse, and will divide into separate parts.

Professor Igor Panarin said in an interview with the respected daily IZVESTIA published on Monday: “The dollar is not secured by anything. The country’s foreign debt has grown like an avalanche, even though in the early 1980s there was no debt. By 1998, when I first made my prediction, it had exceeded $2 trillion. Now it is more than 11 trillion. This is a pyramid that can only collapse.”

He predicted that the U.S. will break up into six parts – the Pacific coast, with its growing Chinese population; the South, with its Hispanics; Texas, where independence movements are on the rise; the Atlantic coast, with its distinct and separate mentality; five of the poorer central states with their large Native American populations; and the northern states, where the influence from Canada is strong.

Goddamnit…I’m sporting wood right now.

I hope this happens.

Think about how much fun it will be to watch Fox News while the country tears itself apart.

Bill O’ Reilly would shit his pants on national television while he tried to explain how the secular left is the prolem; Sean Hannity’s head would explode from all the gay bashing he would be doing; and Rush Limbaugh would finally choke to death on his fucking cigar while he told white trash Americans how the ‘liberals’ have won.

And this isn’t the best part of the article. Check this out:

He even suggested that “we could claim Alaska – it was only granted on lease, after all.”

Russia is going to take back Alaska.

Goddamnit I want this to hurry up and happen.

I want to see chaos.

People fleeing from their buring homes, parents leaving their children on the side of the road, children beating their parents to death with metal baseball bats, homeless people killing the rich and jerking off on their corpse, chickens eating cows, cows milking people, vegetables punching rabbits, rabbits flipping off owls, squirrels mocking eagles, dogs fucking cats, cats playing poker with rats, rats playing Scrabble with their fleas.

The possibilities are endless.

The anticipation is killing me. I wonder which state will secede first?

I’m hoping my home state of South Carolina will be the first to secede…again. What about you?