CEO |

What a bunch of shit.

As part of its plan, Ford announced that the salary of Ford CEO Alan Mulally would be cut to $1 a year if Ford (F, Fortune 500) actually borrowed money from the government.

General Motors (GM, Fortune 500) said that CEO Rick Wagoner also will accept a $1 salary. Chrysler LLC CEO Robert Nardelli is already being paid only $1 a year, according to the Chrysler plan.

Mulally had a base salary of $2 million and total compensation of $21.7 million last year, according to the company’s filings. Wagoner received base pay of $1.6 million and total compensation of $14.4 million. Closely-held Chrysler does not disclose executive pay.

Fuck that.

They have to do more than work for a dollar if they want to steal my money. They need to prove to me they need the money.

How can they do that? Simple,they need to take 535 money shots.

Here’s the plan. All 535 members of Congress have to line up single file down Pennsylvania Avenue, dicks in hand. Pussy in palm for the women. Then the three CEO’s Alan Mulally, Rick Wagoner, and Robert Nardelli get on their knees and stick out their tongues.

Once everyone is in place, the cum part begins.

Every member of Congress has to shot their load on each CEO in order for the bailout to pass.

(I know some of you are thinking: “Ron, how do you expect the women of Congress to shoot their load?” It’s not my fucking problem. I’ve seen pornos where women squirt so much I have to dry my computer off, so it can be done. They want to give away my money, they must play by my rules.)

Now if every member of Congress does the deed and the bill gets passed, then George W. Bush has to sign it into law. But before he can do that, each CEO must perform fellatio on him and swallow all of his children.

It sounds gross but let’s be honest…he’s the President. You can’t expect this man to jack his own dick. He needs help. This is where the CEOs prove to me they need my money.

Also we have to have checks and balances, so if he can’t cum three times in a row, the bailout gets vetoed and Congress has to cum again.

But wait there’s more. How about I have a way were America can earn money from this cum fiesta. Televise it.

Think about it.

Millions of people watch washed up actors/actresses dance in front of gay looking judges, why wouldn’t they watch Congress jackoff on rich, corporate faces?

Imagine the advertising.

Companies piss away 2 million dollars for a 30 second ad during the Super Bowl. They’d easily pay twice that for half the time. And to make sure the government gets the money, we only allow PBS the broadcasting rights.

With that money, Barack Obama can bailout California, Washington, Mississippi, South Carolina, New York, Utah, North Carolina, Georgia, Florida….