These are the people who voted against gay marriage because their imaginary friend in the sky considers it a “sin” on par with cutting your hair, shaving your beard, having long hair, eating shell fish, eating pork, working on the Sabbath, wearing mix fiber clothes, being around your wife while she’s bleeding from the vagina, cheating on your wife, thinking about cheating on your wife, swearing on the Bible, and masturbating.

Of course these fat, ignorant pieces of shit aren’t going to outlaw any of those “sins” because their pastor/church leader/favorite politician/favorite Fox News media personality hasn’t told them to.  (Which is sad because I would love to see ads against masturbating.)

But if there’s one positive thing I can take away from this it’s that the South doesn’t have a monopoly on fat, ignorant, hateful retards.

Wait, now that I think about it, that’s not positive at all. Because that means fat, ignorant, hateful retards are spreading their seed. Which means they’re slowly taking over the world. Which means NASCAR and Jeff Dunham are going to continue to get popular.

FUCK.

I really wish Hitler would’ve slaughtered fat, ignorant, hateful retards that believe an invisible man wants them to deny civil rights to a group of individuals because they are different instead of slaughtering Jews. Because if he did that then he would have gone down in history as the greatest man that ever lived.

But unfortunately he did slaughter millions of Jews and we’re stuck with NASCAR, Jeff Dunham and these fucking asshats’ stupid fucking invisible man in the clouds.

And that means I’m either going to have to continue to smoke my weed, drink my scotch, and jerk-off to my 80′s porn, or shove my head in a wood chipper.

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Tags: Christians, Gay Marriage, I hate old people, I wish God hated retards
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…all because of some drugs.

As violence continues to grow in Juarez’s drug cartel war, government officials struggle to maintain peace in the region and in it’s borders.

Juárez police chief Roberto Orduña Cruz resigned Friday after the drug cartel killed six city police officers this week and threatened to kill more unless he left the force.

Well folks, I hate to tell you this but terrorism works.  You can’t stop people willing to kill others without remorse until they get their way.  You can’t compete with that.  You’re fucked unless you can find a way to stop their money supply.

But how can you do that?  How can you stop the money drug cartels use to buy guns, bullets, rocket launchers, grenades, policemen, judges, lawyers, and politicians?

Drug legalization.

That’s right you fucking pussies.  Legalize marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, ecstasy, and mushrooms.  Every fucking drug the drug cartel sells should be legal.  If grown men and women want to fuck up their health, let ‘em.  How can we tell someone how bad snorting cocaine off the back of a stripper’s ass is for their health, when we allow people to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol?

And why should we do this?

Because it takes money out of the drug cartels’ hands.  Why would someone pay a creepy old guy hiding in the back of an ally 90 dollars for a quarter of cannabis when they could go to a well-lit grocery store and buy it for 55? Plus, the government could make money by taxing it.  They could turn the nations largest cash crop into a multi-billion dollar industry that would help get us out of this recession/depression.

But it won’t happen.  Why?  Because the War on Drugs benefits rich white businessmen. State and federal prosecutors, trail lawyers, judges, private prisons, politicians, the DEA, the FBI, the CIA, state and local police.  To many people make money off of this war for legalization to help.

They will use the money they’ve stolen to lobby Congress and the White House for tougher drug laws while placing their people on all the major news stations and have them say, “If drugs are made legal, it will be the end of America.  People will be so high on PCP and crack cocaine that they’ll storm into your house and ass fuck your wife and daughter.  If you don’t have a wife and daughter, they’ll ass fuck you and your son.  They’ll ass fuck everybody in your goddamn house.  Not even your fucking pets’ buttholes are safe from the ass fucking that’s going to take place in this country if drugs are made legal.”

So I want this shit to continue.

I want the shootouts to spill over into Texas and catch those fucking Minutemen in the cross fire and kill ‘em.  I want the violence to spread into New Mexico, Arizona, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Oklahoma, and Alabama.  I want people to cry out to the federal government for help but can’t get any because  our soldiers are to busy fighting overseas in a stupid fucking war.

I want all of this shit to happen and I hope I get to watch it on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News while smoking out Juan…my new dealer…

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Tags: Christians, Drug Cartels, Fucking legalize it, Marijuana, Mexico, Politicians, War on Drugs
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Tags: Christians, Funny or Die, Gay Marriage, Prop 8
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…and people are against it?  Hard to believe?  I thought so too…that’s why I had to read the article, “Californians go to war over proposed gay-marriage ban” twice:

There is little suspense over the presidential race here, but a ballot initiative to overturn gay marriage is garnering the attention of politicians, activists and big spenders.

Proposition 8, which would amend California’s constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman, was put on the ballot after a state Supreme Court ruling in May said a ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional.

Why declare war on a group of people who want to be with a person they love for the rest of their life?  Shouldn’t we encourage that?

The charges have stirred grass-roots campaigning by people who aren’t normally involved in campaigns. William Adams, 51, of Irvine has festooned his Chevy pickup with hand-drawn wooden signs urging a vote for Prop 8 and declaring it a matter of parents’ rights to control what kids are exposed to.

Adams says he fears his church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, could be sued for discrimination for not recognizing gay couples.

“We’re not afraid of the homosexual movement; We are afraid of the government,” Adams says.

He has planted more than 50 yard signs and led groups of others in knocking on doors for votes for Prop 8. The door-to-door canvassing, as well as telephone voter-turnout efforts, are organized by his Mormon ward, or local church, Adams says.

Isn’t it funny that the people of California seek marriage advice from a Mormon. Hey, little trivia for you; Did you know that Mormons practiced polygamy?  Yep.  If you were Mormon, you could have one, two, five, or ten wives.  I’m glad they’re helping.  They know a thing or to about a Christ-like marriage.

Brown, the spokeswoman for Yes on 8, estimates 40% or more of the $28 million the group reported raising by Oct. 18 had come from Mormon donors. But she says the coalition to overturn gay marriage is broad and even includes groups that tend to vote Democratic.

“We expect turnout in the African-American community to be an asset to us,” she says.

Who knew that black people are homophobic?  I didn’t.

Brown hopes that after Tuesday, gay marriage will be history in California. “We really are at a cultural crossroads in America where we are going to be forced one way or another to decide whether the rights of children or the rights of gay adults are going to come first,” Brown says.
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I wonder how much would get done around in this country (Health Care, Social Security, Bringing home the troops, etc…) if people didn’t care who was fucking who….

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Tags: Christians, Church, Gay Marriage, Mormons, Who gives a shit
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