www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7WLvVmQvfE

They go and publish this story:

Richard Samuel McCroskey III — a 20-year-old rapper in the underground genre of “Horrorcore” who sang of chopping people into pieces — has been arrested in connection with the slayings. The crime scene was so horrifying police would not even describe it, saying only that the victims died of blunt force trauma.

The victims were Mark Niederbrock, 50, the beloved pastor at Walker’s Presbyterian Church; his 16-year-old daughter, Emma Niederbrock; Melanie Wells, Emma’s 18-year-old friend from West Virginia; and Niederbrock’s estranged wife, Debra Kelley, 53, a professor at Longwood

Ha, the pastor must not have been that beloved since he had an estranged wife, am I right? Right? Err…too soon?

Anyways, here’s the definition of horrorcore music since CNN didn’t put it in the article:

A style of hip hop music that focuses around horror-influenced topics that include Satanism, cannibalism, suicide, murder and rape.

So how did this death-music loving 20-year-old come in contact with the pastor and his family?

Emma (Ed. note – The pastor’s 16-year-old daughter) was described as a fan of Horrorcore and had met McCroskey through their mutual affection for the little-known music genre. Police said she invited McCroskey to fly from his northern California home, stay with her in Virginia and then attend the Strictly for the Wicked Festival, a Horrorcore fest in Michigan featuring bands with names like Dismembered Fetus and Phrozen Body Boy.

Nobody saw what would come next.

People knew this girl invited a guy from California who enjoyed songs called “Maggots”, “Bloody Vomit”, and “Shit on Everybody”, and they’re surprised about the outcome? Don’t these people watch horror movies? Everyone knows what happens when a crazy white guy flies across the country to meet up with a 16-year-old girl who’s father is a beloved pastor of a small town. I mean for fuck’s sake, Wes Craven has made a successful career out of this premise.

Yet CNN doesn’t bring that up. No, they just talk about the guy’s YouTube name, which is Syko Sam, the lyrics to his songs, which include this gem: “Last night I was the murderous rage. Now, I gotta get rid of the bodies before the corpses start to get to rotting.”, and his awesome excuse for killing the entire family: “Jesus made me do it”.

And this is why I can never quit CNN.com. Because they would rather run this story about a fucked up white kid murdering an entire family instead of reporting serious issues like the Senate passing a 636 billion dollar defense bill, or the hissy fit lobbyists are throwing after getting kicked off federal advisory committees, or Rep. Jerry Lewis inserting 3 million dollars into the House Defense appropriations bill to make sure Goldman Sachs made some money on a mine.

John Feehery is the president of Feehery Group, a former aid to Dennis Hastert, and the author of the shittest article on CNN.com. Now I’m not going to bore you like I did with the Peggy Noonan article, I’m just going to highlight some of my favorite parts.

The metric system is the kind of thing that you can expect from the 60-vote filibuster-proof majority Democrats now have in the United States Senate.

In the Senate, they adjusted the rules to make it harder for Republicans to filibuster (reducing the magic number from 67 to 60 to invoke cloture, which ends debate). In the House, they passed all kinds of reforms to take power away from senior members and give it to junior members. And Congress mandated that the American people embrace the metric system.

The metric system idea never really caught on, and although the pain of Watergate afflicted Republicans for another two elections, they eventually pulled themselves out of their deep hole, with some good ideas and a charismatic leader, who promised to restore America to greatness.

Why are Republicans so worried about the metric system? For fuck’s sake, they give away ten percent of their money to some fucking church, and they worship the Ten Commandments. So why are they afraid of a base ten measuring system?

Democrats have once again reached the magic number of 60, as Norm Coleman finally threw in the towel against the one-time joke writer for Saturday Night Live, Al Franken.

Republicans have little reason to laugh, though, as they look at their diminished ranks and wonder how they have put themselves in such a weakened position. It was only four-and-a-half years ago that the GOP was on the top of the world, and some of their more smug strategists were confidently predicting a permanent Republican majority.

Norm Coleman didn’t throw in the towel. Norm Coleman fucking lost.  And why are you ripping on Al Franken for being a Saturday Night Live writer? Is it because Al Franken’s shits have more writing ability in one undigested kernel of corn than you do in your entire body? Or is it because he’s never been a high school wrestling coach like your former douchebag boss Dennis Hastert?

In other words, the brand killed them. And if you look at the latest polls, the GOP brand hasn’t gotten any better in the last six months. In fact, according to Gallup, even 38 percent of Republicans have a negative view of the Republican Party.

That sentence hurts my brain.

Democrats are now making plans to intervene in the health care marketplace, with some liberals insisting on a government-run “public option” health insurer. In any event, many won’t be satisfied until the government basically sets prices for health insurance and prescription drugs.

What are you insinuating by putting public option in quotes? That people don’t welcome it? Because I would welcome a public option like Mark Sanford welcomes foreign pussy.

Another poll showed that while 40 percent of Americans identify themselves as conservative, only 21 percent think of themselves as liberal. The American people voted for change. They didn’t vote for a liberal orthodoxy that promises more government, higher taxes, slower growth, more pork and a liberal social agenda.

Um, yes they did. If Americans didn’t want a liberal in office they would have voted for John McCain.

In 1975, the newly dominant Democratic Congress sent President Gerald Ford a bill that declared that America was going to be metric, which he signed. When Jimmy Carter became president two years later, he signed a law that told Americans that they couldn’t drive faster than 55 mph.

These measures made perfect sense to the liberal sensibilities of the time. But they didn’t make sense to the American people, and are symbols of a philosophy that was out of touch with the people in the 1970s and is still out of touch with the lives of most Americans today.

Most Americans still don’t use the metric system, and most certainly don’t stick to the 55 mile an hour speed limit on the highways of America. And while they may still like Barack Obama and still laugh at jokes written by Al Franken, they will eventually grow weary of the newly dominant liberals who now run Washington.

Jesus Christ, there you go again with the goddamn metric system. Why the fuck do you hate it so much? Is it because the rest of the world uses it, and if we start then it will lead to a one world government?

Someone needs to take this man outside and smash his goddamn face in with a wooden tennis racket. And then they need to go to CNN headquarters, and anally rape the person who put this article online them with an electric cattle prod.

It’s about time you started to show the American people how brutal war is and what’s happening to innocent Iraqi civilians.  That’s why I’m giving you a PhuckPolitics fist pump for reporting, in detail, how Steven Green and his buddies raped an innocent 14-year-old girl and then killed her and her entire family.

Allegedly SGT Paul CORTEZ, SPC James BARKER,PFC Steven GREEN, and PFC Jesse SPIELMAN, were playing cards and drinking alcohol.  The Soldiers are alleged to have gone to the house of an Iraqi Family nearby.  They then allegedly raped a young woman who lived at the residence and set her on fire. They are also thought to have murdered her family.

The American people have a right to know how these American soldiers brutally gang raped this innocent 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killed her by setting her on fire.  The American people have a right to know what American soldiers are doing in the Middle East in their name.  And you’ve finally realized that the American people have a right to know how fucked up this American lead war is, and how it’s affecting innocent Iraqi citizens.

What?

This isn’t from CNN?  Really?  Then where is it from?  It better not be some crazy liberal/conservative/Democrat/Republican blog like Daily Kos/Pajamas Media/Huffington Post/Town Hall.  If it is then you can shove it up your ass because those fuckers are batshit insane.

It isn’t?  Alright, then where is it from?  No shit?  No, no I’m sorry but I don’t believe you.  There’s no way this is from a leaked Army memo telling the media to be passive about reporting this story.  The Army wouldn’t do something like that.  Plus, I remember reading an article about this guy on CNN.com.

You know the article I’m talking about.  The one where it reports on how brutal Steven Green’s crimes were and how he just got convicted.

Yes I’m sure the article said he gang raped this innocent 14-year-old girl and set her body on fire, then killed her entire family which included a 5 year-old.

Sure I’m willing to bet on it.  What do you want to lose?  Oh, you’re so confident about winning that you’re going to let me make the conditions?  Alright.  If I’m right, you have to watch every episode of  Reba that comes on the Lifetime Channel for an entire week without stabbing yourself in the face.  And if you’re right, I have to read every Ann Coulter book without tearing out the pages and wiping my ass with them.  Deal?  Good.  Now show me the article.

“You probably think I’m a monster.”

That’s what FBI agents said former U.S. soldier Steven Green told them nearly three years ago about accusations that he had raped a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killed her and her family.

Oh come on.  That’s it?  That’s all CNN wrote about this guy?  They didn’t talk about how Steven Green and his buddies decided to go to a random Iraqi house and rape an innocent 14-year-old girl, set her on fire, and kill her entire family – all because they were drunk and bored?

There has to be some more quotes about this sick fuck and what he did.  He had to have said something else or the prosecutor had to have said something  about this sick crime…right?

There are?  Good.  Because I was starting to get pissed off at CNN for doing a shitty job reporting this story.  Now show me those quotes so my  faith in CNN’s reporting can be restored.

“All of my buddies were getting killed over there. My lieutenant got his face blown off. … George Bush and Dick Cheney ought to be the ones that are arrested.”

Prosecutors said he and others in his unit plotted an attack on an Iraqi family. Green herded the parents and younger sister of 14-year-old Abeer al-Janabi into another room of a house while two accomplices raped her. He then gunned down her parents and her 6-year-old sister, before joining in the rape and killing the teenager.

Oh goddammit.  The kid was 5, not 6.  And they didn’t gun down the 14-year-old girl.  They poured gasoline on her and lit her on fire.

Fuck it, I’m done with CNN.  They’re just as bad as Fox News and MSNBC.  They don’t care about reporting the facts because they’re too busy standing in a corner jerking-off  to the government and their corporate buddies Eiffel Towering the American people .

Of course they stop pleasuring themselves the moment Rush Limbaugh is made fun of and rush to his defense.  But once they stop congratulating themselves for protecting his honor, they go back to slowly stroking themselves as the American people get tag teamed by CNN’s government and corporate heroes.

This just shows you how the media doesn’t care about the American people.  They only care about being close to those in power.

I’m pretty sure you’re wrong on this one Hillary.

The United States shares the blame for Mexican drug trafficking and the attendant violence that has killed thousands in the past year alone, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Wednesday.

“Our insatiable demand for illegal drugs fuels the drug trade,” she said en route to Mexico City, according to pool reports.

I find it a little hypocritical that your stupid ass says something like this when you clearly used drugs when you were younger.  I mean Jesus Christ, look at that fucking picture of Bill and you.  Look at that goofy grin on your face.  And those glasses – you’re stoned out of your goddamn mind.

I guess since you’re the Secretary of State you have to say stupid shit like this.  But fuck you for trying to place the blame on us.

All the government has to do is legalize all drugs and this retarded problem goes away.  But no, the government can’t do that because it would mean they lost this stupid fucking war.  And if there’s one thing our government hates more than helping its citizens, it’s admitting defeat.  So if you’re looking for someone to blame about this goddamn problem, blame the fucking government.

Because of the government, we have the highest prison population in the world.  Because of the government, hardworking Americans are turned into criminals for smoking a goddamn plant.  Because of the government, Americans are forced to buy the buds of a beautiful plant from some creepy drug dealer instead of going to a local dispensary.  Because of the government, drug cartels are becoming more powerful.  Because of the government, we’re spending hundreds of billions of dollars we don’t have to fight a war we’re never going to win.

So fuck you, you creepy old bitch.  I’m about to go supply my local drug cartel by buying an ounce of the stickiest of the ickiest.  And I’m going to take a huge bong hit in your honor – you stupid whore.

You expect me to feel sorry for this guy?

Ernie Casillas lived the good life as he doled out millions of dollars in loans in California. The former banker drove fancy cars and took extravagant vacations.

But with the banking industry in crisis, his job is gone — as is his lavish lifestyle. Desperate for work, he recently swallowed his pride and posted a message on Craigslist: “Unemployed I need a job.”

Get the fuck out of here.  This fucking guy doesn’t deserve my sympathy.  He was a glorified bitch.  Look at his fucking job skills:

“I have over 20 years of experience in sales, telephone sales in a call center, customer service, administrative assistant, cash handling, teller, and many more skills and abilities. Great personality, very friendly, hard worker, very responsible,” it said. “I will be happy to e-mail you my resume. I need a job now. Please call my cell phone.”

A fucking retard can answer phone calls, count money, and suck enough dick to get a sale.  It’s fucking easy.  And how much did this dumb fuck make a year?

Casillas says, he was successful, making about $70,000 a year in the banking industry.

Jesus fucking Christ.  This cunt got paid 70,000 dollars a year  for answering a fucking phone and stroking off a couple of wealthy people? That’s more than teachers in South Carolina make in two years.  What the hell did he do with his money?

I was just living a very good life,” he said. “My daughter would ask me to take her to Las Vegas for her birthday, and we would stay at the most expensive hotels. Every year, this is what she wanted.”

Fuck me backwards.

He took his spoiled cunt of a daughter to Las Vegas every year for her birthday?  He was rewarding her for surviving a whole year by taking her to a city where the murder rate is 1.5 times higher than the national average?  What a fucking moron.   I’m glad this cock sucker is forced to live with his 75 year-old mother.  I’m glad his wife left him.  I’m glad he’s forced to cry himself to sleep each night.  Serves him right for acting like a rich business asshole.

But I don’t want to fucking read about him.

Instead of reading about pussified bank assholes and how bad they’re doing in this economy, I want to read about important shit.

Like how Sarah Palin is rejecting funds that would help teachers and special education, even though the stupid cunt has a retarded child.  Or how Mark Sanford is rejecting stimulus money for education and forcing South Carolina to cut 7,500 teaching jobs.  Or  how stupid Timothy Geithner’s plan is, and how fucked we are as a nation.  Or how AIG’s counterparties are getting paid back in full.  Or how fucking pathetic the American people are for doing nothing about this major ass fucking.

Of course I won’t read about any of these stories on CNN because they’re fucking worthless.  But they aren’t alone.  The entire Main Stream Media is fucking worthless.  Fox News, MSNBC, CNBC, The New York Post, The Washington Post, LA Times, Chicago Tribune, Newsweek, Time, and the Wall Street Journal are as useful as a homeless man’s cum stained boxers.

And do the American people care?  Hell no.  There too busy talking about the new iPhone’s copy and paste feature.

So I’m fucking glad this shit is happening.  I’m glad that AIG gets to hide behind their fucking “We have a contact” excuse when handing out millions of dollars to their executives.   I’m glad that Citigroup and Bank of American are going to need more taxpayer money.   I’m glad that Republicans and Democrats are having a dick waving contest over who is tougher on corruption.   I’m glad that we are sending more troops overseas to fight an unwinnable war.  I’m glad all this shit is happening because you fucking people are to goddamn lazy to get off your fat asses and do something.

And those stupid, gay ass tea parties don’t count.  I hope everybody who goes to those fucking things die from a toxic nerve gas attack – you stupid pussies.

Knowing these people have got my back.

When her baby girl takes an afternoon nap, or on those nights when she just can’t sleep, Sarah Andrews, 32, tosses off her identity as a suburban stay-at-home mom and becomes something more exotic: a “virtual deputy” patrolling the U.S.-Mexico border.

From her house in a suburb of Rochester, New York, Andrews spends at least four hours a day watching a site called BlueServo.net.

I know I don’t get personal with my readers, all five of you, but I feel like divulging some information today.  I don’t sleep well.   I usually get two to four hours of sleep each night, and I’ve tried everything to get more.  I’ve tried sleeping pills, warm milk, no caffeine after five, no eating after five, reading the Bible, smoking a joint, reading the Bible while smoking a joint, choking myself, masturbating, choking myself while masturbating, and nothing works.

Why can’t I go to sleep?

Because I’m worried.   I’m worried about all the drug dealers crossing the US/Mexico border.  I’m worried about the gang violence that’s going on, and how thousands of people have been killed because of it.  I’m worried that my house will get shot at during a gang war, and I will lose my loved ones.  I’m worried that someone will kidnap my four year-old cousin, and force her into the sex trade , unless I give them 400, 000 dollars in unmarked bills.

I’m so worried about this, that all I can do is sit and stare into the cold, dark, starless night; while counting down the days until my town is overran by evil, dirty, vile drug dealers.

But not anymore.   Not with people like Sarah Andrews and Rob Abernethy motoring surveillance videos for me.  Not with the state of Texas spending two million dollars on security cameras set up along the border.   These brave, patriotic people are risking their lives to protect mine.

Now I can sleep, because I know these people are doing everything they can from the comfort of their home to protect me.  I know their index finger is ready to send an email to alert Texas authorities when something is wrong.  I know they don’t want anything bad to happen to me, and they are going to do everything in their power to watch the border.

Shit, I feel so safe that I’m going to take a nap, because goddammit – I know there are average Americans out there watching videos from a 2 million dollar web cam, and that makes me proud to be an American.

…but we can’t afford to close Gitmo.  Why?  Because we can’t let those terrorist go or more shit like this will happen.

By the time Michael McLendon ended his rampage, he had fatally shot his mother and set fire to her house, killed his grandparents, his aunt and uncle, the wife and child of a sheriff’s deputy, and three other people, according to the coroners of the two counties that the shooting spanned.

Fuck.  What made this stupid cunt do this?  Was he trying to punish Americans because they elected a man who manipulated the military into invading his country, raping his daughters, and torturing him?  Did he want Americans to feel his pain?  Nope.  This guy was just buck fuck insane.

So I guess I owe Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Geroge Will, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, David Brooks, Tony Blankley, William Kristol, Charles Krauthammer, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Joe Libermann, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich and Joe the plumber an apology.

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you when you said those Gitmo detainees wanted to kill Americans.  I’m sorry that I was blinded by the liberal media.  I’m sorry I let them seduce me into hating you and saying mean things like, “I wouldn’t shit on Dick Cheney’s face if it was on fire.”  I’m sorry.  I should have said nice things like, ” I would pin my mother against the floor and let Rush Limbaugh anally rape her just so I could say I was in the same room with God.”  I’m truly, deeply sorry and  I will never, ever believe anything CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, the New York Times, the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, the Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, and Good Morning America tells me.

So fuck you Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Christ Mathews, Larry King, Rick Sanchez, Paul Krugman, Arianna Huffington, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Alan Colmes.  If you bitches didn’t trick the American people into electing Barack Obama , then Guantanamo Bay would still be open and those 10 people would still be alive.

Because of you, those 10 people will never be able to feel the warmth of a hug.  Because of you, those 10 people will never be able to see the sunrise.  Because of you, those 10 people will never be able to smell the sweet scent of a puppy’s breath.   Because of you, those 10 people will never be able to do a goddamn thing because they’re fucking dead.

They were killed by a raving lunatic who hated everything America stood for.  I hope each one of you stupid, liberal pussies di – what?

No, that can’t be right.  You sure?  Like 100 percent sure?  Like you’re so sure this guy isn’t a former detainee from Gitmo that you’re willing to let me rape your unborn daughter if you are wrong?  Really?

Well fuck the Gospel, this is the greatest news I’ve ever heard.

I don’t have to admit I was wrong.  The person who killed those 10 people was a fucking American.  He was just like Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold, Seung-Hui Cho, Charles Joseph Whitman, Theodore Kacynski, Eric Rudolph, Timothy McVeigh, Terry Nichols, John Allen Muhammad and Lee Malvo.

So Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Christ Mathews, Larry King, Rick Sanchez, Paul Krugman, Arianna Huffington, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Alan Colmes,  I didn’t mean what I said.  You people keep me going in this crazy, fucked-up world.

And I want to give a huge “Fuck you” to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, George Will, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, David Brooks, Tony Blankley, William Kristol, Charles Krauthammer, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Joe Libermann, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, and Newt Gingrich.  I hope every one of you worthless pieces of pussy excretions dies from a combination of herpes and bird flu.

Is he really doing this?

President Barack Obama will ask Congress for more than $200 billion to fund U.S. war efforts for the next year and a half, according to defense officials.

The request will be for $75.5 billion for 2009 to cover the cost of sending more troops to Afghanistan this year and an additional $130 billion for the rest of fiscal 2009, according to the sources.

The money will be in addition to $534 billion for the U.S. Defense Department’s other expenditures, which the president is expected to request from Congress.

What the fuck?  Where is all this money coming from?  Does Congress have a magical giant that shits money?  How are we going to afford the Wall Street bailout, the stimulus, the homeowners bailout and this shit?

And why the fuck isn’t this money going to help those that have lost their jobs?  We have 5,112,000 people living off of unemployment who would blow an AIDS-infected donkey for 534 billion dollars and they’re getting nothing?  But we can spend 534 billion dollars on killing brown people in the Middle East?

Goddammit.

I’m sick and tired of these corrupt cocksuckers in Washington telling me how they’re fighting this war for my protection.  I didn’t tell them to go to war and I didn’t tell them to waste 3 trillion dollars. If my government doesn’t give a fuck about me and decides to give the military hundreds of billions of  dollars ,than I don’t give a fuck about them. They can go fuck themselves with their million dollar smart bombs and their billion dollar jets.

I’m pulling for the Afghans.

I want to see them bleed the government dry like they did the Russians.  I want to see them pull the government into a decade long war that will produce thousands of causalities and cost trillions of dollars.   I want to see them on TV shooting their guns in the air while celebrating an important victory over the government.

I can’t fucking wait until the government is forced to admit how bad they fucked up so I can laugh in their fucking face…

…then ask if I could suck their dick for a dollar…

Because sometimes I want to give my readers something good to read…

The US News & World Report calls Bill O’Reilly a “cock grabbing lesbian who should swallow a horse cock and die.” Okay they really didn’t call him that, but I know they will one day.

The Rude Pundit signed up for the Family Research Council prayer group and each week receives a prayer list with issues he should pray about.  I’ve got to be honest, I was a little surprised to find that Jesus doesn’t want Congress helping the needy.

Politics By Satire makes a good point, how the fuck can those cunts at Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC say they feel our pain when they’re wiping their asses with toilet paper made from silk?

Barack Obama is rumored to be appointing a marijuana friendly police sheriff to the position of Drug Czar. I don’t like that title…Drug Czar.  Sounds too fucking weird.  Like they want to scare me or something.  Almost makes me want to put down my joint…

If you’re a member of Twitter and want to know which members of Congress to follow as they fuck up,  than here is a complete list of those Washington assholes.