Thu 3 Dec, 2009
Wed 23 Sep, 2009
Congress has read my list and has decided to do something about it.
Going after ACORN may be like shooting fish in a barrel lately — but jumpy lawmakers used a bazooka to do it last week and may have blown up some of their longtime allies in the process.
The congressional legislation intended to defund ACORN, passed with broad bipartisan support, is written so broadly that it applies to “any organization” that has been charged with breaking federal or state election laws, lobbying disclosure laws, campaign finance laws or filing fraudulent paperwork with any federal or state agency. It also applies to any of the employees, contractors or other folks affiliated with a group charged with any of those things.
In other words, the bill could plausibly defund the entire military-industrial complex. Whoops.
After Congress defunds ACORN for indulging two rich whites kids, they’re going to go after Lockheed Martin and Northrop Gumman for fraud; Blackwater for weapon smuggling, child prostitution, and murder; Halliburton and KBR for murder, fraud, human trafficking, and prostitution; Dyncorp for sex slavery; and Triple Canopy for fraud and murder.
Tags: Congress, I love it when Congress fucks up, Military-industrial complex, This is a good congressional fuck upComments (2)
Mon 21 Sep, 2009
Bunch of corporate whores
Here’s a list of things you can investigate after you’re done crucifying ACORN for failing to recognize a fake pimp:
- Blackwater
- KBR
- Halliburton
- Triple Canopy
- Boeing
- Lockheed Martin
- Federal Reserve
- Wall Street Bailout
- Goldman Sachs
- AIG
- Bank of America
- Citigroup
- CIA torture program
- Politicization of the Department of Justice
- Betsy McCaughey
- Karl Rove
- WMD in Iraq
- 9 billion dollars lost in Iraq
- Cheney’s Energy Task Force Meeting
Of course you aren’t going to investigate any of these things because you”re too busy destroying an organization that’s received 53 million dollars over 15 years and helps poor colored people.
Tags: ACORN, Blackwater, Congress, Congress hates poor colored people, Dick Cheney, KBRComments (4)
Tue 16 Jun, 2009
Because why else would he be doing this?
U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk will call for legislation Monday that would toughen drug trafficking laws regarding a highly-potent form of marijuana, with penalties of up to 25 years in prison for a 1st-time offense.
The law would target offenders who sell or distribute marijuana that has a THC content exceeding 15 percent, which is between 5 and 10 percent higher than average marijuana, according to Kirk’s office. THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, is the main active ingredient in marijuana.
I like this law. I like the message it sends to drug dealers. It lets them know that we’re sick of losing the War on Drugs, and we will not stand around with our thumbs up our asses while they destroy our magnificent country one dime bag at a…I’m sorry, I can’t do this.
This is a stupid fucking law. 25 years in jail for first time offenders? For selling a little bit of pot? Really? Shouldn’t this be for pot dealers that kill people or pot dealers that rape people or pot dealers that kill then rape people? I mean, isn’t this legislation a bit excessive?
What the fuck am I talking about? Of course it isn’t. It’s pot dealers that are destroying this country.
Because of pot dealers millions of Americans are out of work, homeless, and uninsured. Because of pot dealers thousands of American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi citizens have been killed in a senseless war. Because of pot dealers companies with political connections are getting billions of American taxpayers’ dollars through no-bid contracts. Because of pot dealers the Federal Reserve can’t account for 9 trillion dollars. Because of pot dealers our government had to bailout Wall Street, take over GM, and torture detainees.
So I’m sorry Mr. Kirk. I forgot you are a man on a mission sent from God. Please continue to call for legislation that would make Stalin cream his pants. Because the sooner we get those sorry pot dealers in jail, the sooner our country and way of life will improve.
Update: Thanks Zirgar for pointing out how incredibly stupid Mark Kirk is.
Tags: Congress, Iraq, Marijuana, Mark Kirk, This guy is a fucking moron, War on DrugsComments (9)
Mon 15 Jun, 2009
Could someone explain to me why these cunts aren’t in jail?
Senators who oversee the $700 billion Wall Street rescue package held stocks in many of the banks bailed out towards the end of last year, according to financial disclosure reports released Friday.
According to the reports detailing senators’ finances in 2008, nearly half of the members of the Senate Banking Committee had holdings in financial institutions that have taken funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP). The panel has jurisdiction over the bailout fund and other relief efforts directed by federal regulators to save the nation’s financial system.
Nevermind. I know why these pussies aren’t in jail. These twats aren’t in jail because most Americans don’t give a shit about this kind of stuff.
They don’t give a shit about Sen. Tim Johnson having $115,000 dollars in Bank of America stocks. They don’t give a shit about Sen. Chuck Schumer having $50,000 dollars in Morgan Stanley stocks and $15,000 dollars in Citibank stocks. They don’t give a shit about Sen. David Vitter having $15,000 dollars in Goldman Sachs, Bank of America and JP Morgan Chase stocks.
Most Americans don’t give a shit about this kind of stuff because they’re too busy watching that goddamn Jon and Kate plus 8 show. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, more Americans care about some worthless cunt raising eight goddamn kids than they are about the government stealing their money and giving it to the rich.
But this isn’t surprising since most Americans are to fucking stupid to care about shit like this. And maybe that’s what I need to do.
Maybe I need to stop caring about issues like illegal wars, mutilple bailouts, and political corruption. Maybe I need to stop thinking for myself and let radio and television personalities tell me what to think.
Or maybe I should try to educate Americans. Maybe I should try to show them how bad the government is fucking them over. Maybe I should try to explain to them how issues like gay marriage, gun control and abortion are distracting them from the real problems of illegal wars, mutilple bailouts, and political corruption.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I’m not going to do any of that shit. Besides, do you know how fucking stupid most Americans are? I mean, most Americans thought David Letterman was talking about Sarah Palin’s 14-year-old daughter getting raped by Alex Rodriguez for fuck’s sake.
So fuck all this rhetorical bullshit. I’m just going to continue to do what I’ve always done: smoke weed, jerk-off to some classic 80’s porn, and cry myself to sleep.
Tags: Bailout, Bank Bailout, Chuck Schumer, Congress, David Vitter, Senate, Tim Johnson, Wall StreetComments (6)
Tue 28 Apr, 2009
You’ve just gotten a taste of how this torture shit is going to play out.
Liberal activists are pressing for the impeachment of federal Judge Jay Bybee over the Bush administration’s “torture memos” in part because there is virtually nothing that President Barack Obama, congressional Republicans or conservative Senate Democrats can do to stop the process from getting underway.
Ah, yes, the classic Washington “Us verses Them” bullshit. Where the Democrats will say things like, “This is outrageous. How is this man a federal judge? He signed a memo giving permission to waterboard detainees, stick their heads in a box full of bugs, slam their heads into a wall, slap them, and deprive them of sleep. How can this man say he will uphold the Constitution when he shat on its chest 7 years ago?”
And the Republicans will respond with, “Fuck that. There were high ranking Democrats who knew we were torturing those nasty brown pieces of shit in Iraq and Afghanistan. Did they object? Fuck no. They were too busy getting paid thousands of dollars by lobbyists to care about the fucked up shit we were doing to people. If they’re going to impeach anyone it should be their own goddamn selves.”
Think I’m lying? Read this shit :
Republicans are pushing back. The Judiciary Committee’s ranking member, Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), warned that Democratic leaders also would also come under scrutiny. He said Podesta should also pursue House Speaker Nancy Pelosi over her lack of action following classified briefings she received on the interrogation techniques.
“If he wants to be absolutely fair, he ought to ask the speaker to resign as well,” Smith told POLITICO on Monday. “Clearly, any attorney should be able to offer their legal advice and give their best counsel to a president and to an administration without fear of someone trying to reach back and impeach them when they get to a higher office.”
So it looks like nothing is going to change. Rich, powerful white people will continue to torture poor brown people. The media will continue to make this a Republicans vs. Democrats issue. And Americans could care less because they are too busy worrying about the stupid fucking swine flu.
You know…business as usual…
Tags: Congress, Democrats, Jay Bybee, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans, White HouseComments (1)
Wed 8 Apr, 2009
In the midst of the congressional outrage over bonuses and bailouts, many of the very firms who benefited from TARP funds are still making political donations. And the politicians are still taking them.
According to the latest F.E.C. data for February, several members of Congress who have been critical of the federal government’s bailout of U.S. companies have received campaign contributions just in the last six weeks – from the firms they bailed out.
What does this say about our government? That they really don’t care about us? That they really enjoy butt fucking us? That they really can do whatever they want because we won’t do a goddamn thing about it except weep in our pillows at night?
How are we supposed to react when we see Senators Jim DeMint(R), Tom Carper(D), and Jeff Merkley(D) each receiving 6,000 dollars for their campaigns? What can we do when House Representatives Richard Neal(D), Eric Cantor(R), and John Boehner(R) receive a total of 32,500 dollars from companies we’ve bailed out? How can we compete with companies who are using our money to bribe our politicians into giving them more of our money?
No – no I don’t believe it. I can’t. Because if this was really happening the media would be all over it. Right?
I mean, the Media get’s a hard-on every time a corruption story comes along. They live for this kind of stuff. This is how they make a name for themselves. Did the Media sit on its hands when Richard Nixon was making the Constitution gag on his old cock? No. Did the Media turn a blind eye when Bill Clinton was getting his dick sucked in the White House by some fat chick? No. So the Media wouldn’t sit around with their thumbs up their asses when our government and their corporate buddies are gangbanging us. The Media cares about us too much.
And our government cares about us too. They trust us, and we trust them. Otherwise, why would we let our government torture terrorist, illegally wiretap us, illegally detain suspects, control the internet, bailout Wall Street, bailout the auto industry, continue the War of Drugs, keep gay people from getting married, continue to send hundreds of thousands of troops to the Middle East, and shit on the Constitution in our name?
Man, I need to calm the fuck down. You know what? I’m going to go smoke a joint, jerk-off to some 80’s porn, and play some Sid Meier’s Civilization Revolution for the Xbox 360. Yeah – that should calm me down…
Tags: Congress, Democrats, I hope they all die, Republicans, TARP, Wall Street, White HouseComments (8)
