Jesus Christ Republicans, you’re getting talked down to by a twelve year-old boy who thinks he knows what conservatism is so he wrote a fucking book about it .  Your party is a fucking joke.  It has gone from fucking prepubescent boys to being taught by them and you enjoy it.

You gave the little shit a standing ovation for saying nothing.  He didn’t say one original godamn thing.  All he did was repeat what’s been said by Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, George Will and the rest of those cocksucking elephant fuckers at Fox News.  That’s it.  And you stupid motherfuckers ate it up.

Where’s your fucking pride?  Most of the people in the room are three times older than this kid and should know what conservatism is. What the hell am I talking about?  Nobody knows what conservatism is.  The last five Republican presidents didn’t even know what conservatism is because they were to busy growing the national debt, increasing the size of government and increasing the number of brown people killed around the world.

So how the hell does this kid know what conservatism is?

He doesn’t.  He doesn’t know a goddamn thing.  But that doesn’t stop him from acting like he does.  And that doesn’t stop all you fucking jack-offs from stroking his ego.  Republicans are setting this kid up to be a failure and that pisses me off.

Why?

Because this kid’s life is going to be ruined by a bunch of selfish, greedy, evil assholes who are doing nothing more than using him to sucker in more people into believe their party is the party that cares.

So where the fuck is this kid’s parents?  Why aren’t they protecting him?  Why aren’t they allowing their child to form his own political opinions instead of forcing theirs down his throat?  It’s not like he was flipping through the TV channels one day and suddenly said, “I’m getting sick of watching cartoons and fun programs that make me laugh and enjoy life.  I think I’ll flip it to Fox News and watch how we’re fucking over the world by invading countries and saying they have weapons of mass destruction.”

Jesus Christ.

This kid should be experiencing the joys of jerking off to internet porn, not giving a shitty speech to a room full of middle age white men who are going to fantasize about ass fucking him later tonight.  Let the kid enjoy his life. Let him trick the neighbor’s daughter into touching his dick.  Don’t force him into giving a two minute pep talk to a group of people so fucking crazy that Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal doesn’t want to be around them.

Let the kid enjoy his life before an old white guy fucks its up…

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Tags: Conservatism, Conservatives, CPAC, Fox News, Jonathan Krohn, Republicans, This kid is fucked
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Who pissed in Chris Matthews‘s corn flakes? Seriously who did it?  Come on…be a man. I want to meet the person who did this to poor Chris…and shake their hands.  Both of them.  Maybe even pat them on the butt and congratulate them for a nice tight ass.  (Only if you are a woman because being gay is a sin)  Great job.  If I ever go on Hardball I know how to piss Chris off, just don’t answer his questions.  Brilliant!!

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Tags: Chris Mathews, CNN, Conservatives, Democrats, Fox News, Liberals, Pissed off, Republicans
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Americans everywhere are taking to the streets in celebration.  What are they celebrating?  Well if you have to ask then you aren’t an American; however, since I’m in a great mood I’ll tell you.  The Federal Reserve is taking over American International Group (AIG)!!!!!

In a stunning turn, the Federal Reserve Board is lending as much as $85 billion to rescue crumbling insurer American International Group, officials announced Tuesday evening.

The Fed authorized the Federal Reserve Bank of New York to lend AIG (AIG, Fortune 500) up to $85 billion. In return, the federal government will receive a 79.9% stake in the company.

Officials decided they must act lest the nation’s largest insurer file bankruptcy. Such a move would roil world markets since AIG (AIG, Fortune 500) has $1.1 trillion in assets and 74 million clients in 130 countries.

The government had resisted throwing a lifeline to AIG, hoping to entice investment firms to set up a $75 billion rescue fund. Officials opted not to bail out Lehman Brothers, which filed for bankruptcy on Monday. But by Tuesday night, it became clearer that the private sector would not step in to help AIG, which has a greater reach into other financial companies and markets than Lehman does.

That is what I’m talking about America.  God I love this country.

When private companies turn their backs on a business that made retarded decisions, you take it upon yourself to help them out. Sure you don’t do anything for the thousands of people who made similar decisions that cost them their houses.  They made some really, really stupid decisions.  They should of known they couldn’t afford their home.  They had it coming.  No, you help those that make retarded decisions and who are richer than you. It’s the way Jesus did it when He was coming up.  If He taught us one thing through His preaching it is helping out the rich gets you a foot in Heaven’s door.  I hope to see each and every one of you (Christians) in Heaven.

God bless you all.

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Tags: Banks, Conservatives, Dear God where is my money, George Bush, Government, John McCain
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Why can’t the “Liberal” media leave Sarah Palin alone.  First there was the bridge to nowhere, next it was troopergate, then her lying about going to Iraq, and now they are pounding her hard (Ed-I know I would) about her lack business experience.

Ooops. Looks like U.S. Sen. John McCain’s economic campaign surrogate Carly Fiorina didn’t get this morning’s talking points.

As you may recall, Fiorina used to head up Hewlett Packard. According to a report by Huffington Post’s Sam Stein, Fiorina, appearing on a local St. Louis radio talk show, was asked if Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin had the experience to run a company such as Hewlett Packard.

“Do you think [Sarah Palin] has the experience to run a major company, like Hewlett Packard?” asked the host.

“No, I don’t,” responded Fiorina. “But you know what? That’s not what she’s running for.”

Of course she doesn’t have the experience to run a major company.  McCain has former Senator Phil Gramm on his staff for that.  Sarah Palin is on the staff for her foreign policy experience.

This is further poof that the “Liberal” media is sexist.  If I was a woman I wouldn’t know how to act.  Lucky for me I’m a man so I have the perfect solution…cock punches.  Nothing says STOP BEING SEXIST like a well placed punch to their man finger.

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Tags: Conservatives, Dear God I want to hump Sarah, John McCain, Liberal, Liberal Media, Main Stream Media, Republican, Republicans, Sarah Palin
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Obama is trying everything he can to raise money.  First it was the ad comparing himself to Paris Hilton so he could get the white teen girl vote.  Then he decides to talk about how he was a community organizer in order to gain the Jesus sympathy vote.  And now he has put his face on a box of waffles for the I’m sick of pancakes vote.  Do you have any shame sir?  When will you stop forcing yourself down the our throats?

Wait…what’s that?

You say that this waffle thing wasn’t made by Obama?  It was made by Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss and sold at the Values Voter Summit?   Oh man…those guys are good.  That is some really funny stuff.   Haha. Did they make Obama look like that because of the Aunt Jemima lady?  God…someone give those guys a metal.  What metal?  The metal for “Funniest Racist Christian Award”.

Go ahead.  I know I should be the winner of that award but I swear to you Lord…I will get that award….I swear.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Democrats, Funny, God, McCain, Religion, Religious, Republicans, Waffles
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There is a post on a blog called God’s Politics that is about how Jesus would of been against torturing people.  Something about Jesus loving too much to inflict pain on a person or something like that:

Based on some responses to my last post, and a new poll by Faith in Public Life and Mercer University, it seems there are many evangelicals who believe that there are in fact times when torture is necessary and proper. I am assuming these people also believe it is at times necessary and proper for Christians to do the torturing?

According to the poll, 57% of white evangelicals in the South believe that torture is often or sometimes justified. Another 16% believe that it can be justified in rare occasions. Only 22% believe that it is never justified. This is surprising because only 48% of the general population believe that torture can be justified. How can this be?

Simple…Jesus was tortured in our place, so we can spread the torturing to others.  Why do you think we celebrate Easter?  Do you honestly believe we do it for that giant of a  rabbit?  Please.  Everyone knows that the largest rabbit on record was two inches shy of being a midget.

No, we celebrate Easter because that is the day Jesus took one for the team and said “Hey, you can torture me.”  And as He was dying from being tortured (part of God’s great plan) He said “Go forth and torture men in my name” or something like that.  I mean I’m sure that’s what He meant to say if He was allowed to catch His breath.  I don’t think He understood how physically demanding torture is.  You have to be in the best shape of your life in order not to crack.

Listen the moral of this story is you are wrong God’s Politics.  Jesus loves torture and it is in the Bible.  You just have to get the right copy.

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Tags: Conservatives, Jesus, Politics, Religion, Religious, Republicans
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