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John_McCain_Meet_The_Press

Why does the media like this man? Is it because he left his first wife for a younger, richer woman after getting released as a prisoner of war? Is it because he helped create the Saving and Loans collapse in the 1980′s? Is it because he told a funny joke about Chelsea Clinton when she was a teenager? Is it because he suggested the surge for the illegal Iraq War? Or is it because he ‘suspended’ his campaign in order to ‘fix the economy’?

The reason I ask is because I need to know why John McCain is on TV every goddamn Sunday. And it can’t be for his knowledge on the issues, because this man is a fucking idiot. Case in point, he was on yesterday’s Meet The Press talking about how we don’t need to withdraw from Afghanistan because we need to “break the enemy’s will” and “win”.(At least that’s what I think he said. I was having a hard time understanding him over David Gregory’s loud slurping noises.) Of course he doesn’t tell us how to break the enemy’s will or how to win, because David Gregory sucks at his job and didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Now I know I shouldn’t be surprised by what comes out of John McCain’s mouth. I mean, this is the man that talked up Sarah Palin as his vice-president and Phil Gramm as his financial advisor. But I am surprised by how many times he’s been on the Sunday news circuit after he lost the presidency.

I guess he’s just the Beltway’s Clay Aiken. Which makes Obama the Beltway’s Ruben Studdard. Which makes Dick Cheney the Beltway’s Simon Cowell.

Which makes me want to kill myself.

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What a cunt.

This guy's a cunt.

Here are ten questions I wish the dickless David Gregory would have asked Timothy Geithner yesterday on Meet the Press:

  1. Where has all the TARP money gone?
  2. Why don’t you want Congress to audit the Fed?
  3. Why is the derivatives market still not regulated?
  4. Why do you take Wall Street’s phone calls before Congress’?
  5. Why did you allow AIG to repay Goldman Sachs 100 percent on the dollar?
  6. What would have happened if you took all the TARP money and gave it to the American people?
  7. Why don’t you support an executive cap?
  8. Will you be bailing out GMAC again?
  9. How is it that Goldman Sachs is going to make 1 billion dollars off of CIT’s bankruptcy, and the American taxpayer’s going to lose 2.3 billion?
  10. When Wall Street’s about to cum, do you wrap your lips around the entire dick and allow the cum to fill your mouth before swallowing, or do you hold the dick 4 inches from your face and let Wall Street use your tongue as a target?

Now I know that last question is too vulgar for a Sunday news show, but I think it should be asked because it will tell America a lot about Timothy Geithner.

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Yep, this guy is a journalist.

Yep, this guy is a journalist.

How many cocks did David Gregory suck before he got to host Meet The Press? 10? 50? 100? I’m leaning toward 100, because this guy isn’t hosting based on his journalistic abilities.

For the past several months I’ve watched this lanky asshole ask soft, pointless questions about health care reform, the war in Afghanistan, the war in Iraq, and the Wall Street bailouts. I’ve seen him quote ‘journalist’ like Charles Krauthammer and Peggy Noonan while reading Newt Gingrich’s latest tweets.

So, again, I have to ask, how many cocks did he suck to get his job? Because I’m willing to suck twice as many cocks in order to become the new host. Plus, I’ll swallow.

Why am I willing to sacrifice my precious gag reflex? Because I want a crack at his guests.

I want to ask John McCain the real reason why he’s trying to pass an anti-Net Neutrality bill. I want to ask Orrin Hatch why he wants Obama to force the Justice Department to look into college football’s bowl system but not into George Bush’s torture program. And I want to ask Joe Scarborough what really happened to Lori Klausutis.

That’s why I’m willing to gag on hundreds of cocks. I want to make those corrupt, sadistic corporate whores sweat on national TV. And if that means I have to swallow several pints of rich, white man semen, so be it.

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