The sun is out.  Birds are singing.  And white people are starting to come together.  Yes my friends, today is national tea party day.  So put on your best protesting clothes and get ready to throw tiny tea bags into some large body of water.

Today’s the day to come together and protest the trillions of dollars Barack Obama put on the books; to protest the tax rates that won’t affect 95% of the population; and to protest how shitty the Main Stream Media is – except for Fox News.  Today’s the day when we all come together to protest how we hate getting ass fucked by our government.

Never mind how the ass fucking has been going on since the 1970′s.  Never mind how the tax rate was higher when Ronald Reagan was in office.  Never mind how the corporations have been pushing this shit since that douche bag Rick Santelli screamed at Obama about bailing out homeowners as he stood in the middle of the stock market.  Never mind how you all are acting like a herd of retarded sheep by doing whatever the fuck rich people tell you to do.

You go out there and yell those stupid chants.  You go out there and hold hands while bitching about the government.  You go out there and listen to those Republican congressmen tell you how sick they are of spending your money.  You go out there and shed a tear when some old soldier speaks about how this isn’t the America he fought for.  You go out there and blame everything on Obama and the Democrats.  You go out there and  ignore the fact that Congress was controlled by Republicans for 13 years.

Because you’re standing up for what you believe in, and for that I say – God bless you.

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Tags: Bunch of Retards, Democrats, Republicans, Tea Parties
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I’m sick of hearing how great God is.  I’m sick of hearing how our politicians love him, and how much they pray to him.  I’m sick of seeing little children getting brainwashed into thinking they’re worthless.  I’m sick of hearing how bad things happen because we’ve forsaken him.  I’m sick of seeing thousands of educated people cram into some goofy looking building to worship a fictitious being.

I’m sick of hearing how some family that’s had their child raped and murdered by some fucked up psychopath say, “This is a part of God’s Will.” I’m sick of hearing how we don’t need to worry about the economy because, “God will take care of it.”     I’m sick of hearing people say, “We don’t need to worry about Global warming because God won’t let man destroy the world.”

Goddammit people, get your fucking heads out of the sand.  Most of the shit that’s gone on in the world today can be traced back to our government.  Our government, Republicans and  Democrats, allow shit to happen to us.

It was our government that passed laws allowing corporations to build factories in other countries, which forced millions of Americans out of work- not God.  It was our government that passed laws deregulating Wall Street, which destroyed millions of Americans’ 401(k)s – not God.  It was our government that passed laws allowing them to take our personal freedom and wiretap millions of Americans – not God.

Our government has had a hand in every fucking problem we’re facing today, yet you ignorant bastards would rather believe some all-knowing, all-powerful dickbag is allowing all this shit to happen because you’ve pissed him off; instead of opening your goddamn eyes and seeing how bad you’re getting fucked over by the people who’ve been sworn to protect you.

You know the government is the root of your problems.  You know the government is the cause of everything that’s wrong in this world.  You know the government is ran by evil people who only care about themselves, yet you can’t admit it.  Why?

Because you’re a pussy.

Because it’s easier to wish your problems away.  Because it’s easier to make excuses like, “I’m just one person.  What can I do?”  and  “I want to protest, but I don’t know how to get people to come with me.”  But you can meet up every Sunday with a few hundred of your friends, and pray to your invisible buddy for help.

What a bunch of horseshit.

I’m getting fucking tried of you stupid fucking people saying, “God will take care of everything.  We just need to sit here and not question those who are in power because God put them there.  And who are we to question God?”

So if you’re one of those people, do me a favor – kill yourself.  Because you’re not trying to help find a solution, you’re a part of the goddamn problem.

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Tags: Democrats, Religion, Republicans, Stupid people, White House
Comments (30)

This has to be a lie.

In the midst of the congressional outrage over bonuses and bailouts, many of the very firms who benefited from TARP funds are still making political donations. And the politicians are still taking them.

According to the latest F.E.C. data for February, several members of Congress who have been critical of the federal government’s bailout of U.S. companies have received campaign contributions just in the last six weeks – from the firms they bailed out.

What does this say about our government?  That they really don’t care about us?   That they really enjoy butt fucking us?  That they really can do whatever they want because we won’t do a goddamn thing about it except weep in our pillows at night?

How are we supposed to react when we see Senators Jim DeMint(R), Tom Carper(D), and Jeff Merkley(D)  each receiving 6,000 dollars for their campaigns?  What can we do when House Representatives Richard Neal(D), Eric Cantor(R), and John Boehner(R) receive a total of 32,500 dollars from companies we’ve bailed out?  How can we compete with companies who are using our money to bribe our politicians into giving them more of our money?

No – no I don’t believe it.  I can’t.  Because if this was really happening the media would be all over it.  Right?

I mean, the Media get’s a hard-on every time a corruption story comes along.  They live for this kind of stuff.  This is how they make a name for themselves.  Did the Media sit on its hands when Richard Nixon was  making the Constitution gag on his old cock?  No.  Did the Media turn a blind eye when Bill Clinton was getting his dick sucked in the White House by some fat chick?  No.  So the Media wouldn’t sit around with their thumbs up their asses when our government and their corporate buddies are gangbanging us.  The Media cares about us too much.

And our government cares about us too.  They trust us, and we trust them.  Otherwise, why would we let our government torture terrorist,  illegally wiretap us,  illegally detain suspects, control the internet, bailout Wall Street, bailout the auto industry, continue the War of Drugs, keep gay people from getting married, continue to send hundreds of thousands of troops to the Middle East, and shit on the Constitution in our name?

Man, I need to calm the fuck down.  You know what?  I’m going to go smoke a joint, jerk-off to some 80′s porn, and play some Sid Meier’s Civilization Revolution for the Xbox 360.  Yeah – that should calm me down…

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Tags: Congress, Democrats, I hope they all die, Republicans, TARP, Wall Street, White House
Comments (8)

Holy shit I’m excited.  AIG executives just received bonuses for ruining the country, and I can’t wait to see how pissed off Rick Santelli is.  I bet he turns to those Wall Street assholes sitting behind him and screams,” I’m getting sick and tired of bailing out all of you pathetic, incompetent Wall Street losers.  Why the fuck should taxpayers continue to bail you all out when you all are the reason why our country is fucked up in the first place?  I hope every single one of you cocksuckers die in a fucking plane crash.”

Wait, what’s this shit Rick?  Why are you defending them?  What the hell?  Where’s your passion?  Where’s your since of duty?  Oh – I get it.  You can’t rip these cocksuckers because they might beat the shit out of you.  You’re worried about your personal safety.  I understand.  I’ll let you slide on this one.

Since Santelli pussed out, where can I go to watch these Wall Street twats get ripped a new asshole?  I know, I’ll turn to Fox News.  Those fuckers care about the people.  They’ve been calling out all this wasteful spending.  I’m sure they’ll have a sound bite from a Republican Senator who’ll say exactly what I’m thinking.

Fuck yea Senator Charles Grassley.  You tell those motherfuckers.  Those fucking AIG people don’t deserve to live.  They’ve ruined this country, and stole our money.  Why the fuck should they get bonuses?  Wait – aww come on Senator.  Don’t lose your balls.  No, don’t back track now – goddammit.  Charles Grassley, you’re a fucking pussy.

Wait – that was a bit harsh.  You’re a Senator.  You can’t tell people to kill themselves.  You’re in America, and that’s not how we roll.  I’ll forgive you – this time.

So who’ll express my outrage over this shit?  Who has the power to speak for the millions of people who are pissed off about these bonuses?  Fucking Rush Limbaugh – that’s who.

This guy says whatever is on his mind.  He is the man of the people.  When we were bailing out the auto industry, he said we needed to do something about the unions, and those people were just middle class Americans struggling to provide for their family.  I know this AIG shit has to piss him off.  Come on Rush, speak for me baby.  Let me hear you rip those fucking Wall Street bitches apart.

Goddammit, what the fuck is this shit?  Where the fuck did your balls go Rush?  You had no problem challenging the President of the United States to a debate, but you can’t rip these fucking assholes apart?  Fuck you, you fat fucking pussy.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?  Why isn’t anyone in the media or in the government pissed off about this?  Why do they keep saying we can’t do anything about these bonuses because we have to honor their contracts?  Weren’t these the same assholes who were calling for the UAW to alter their contracts, which they did?  Why can’t we do the same thing with these cunts?  I mean, isn’t it our money that’s bailing out AIG?  Shouldn’t we have a say in this?

Oh shit, I’m so fucking stupid.  How could I forget this – THE GOVERNMENT AND THE MEDIA DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US.

If they did, they would’ve said,”Hey AIG.  Fuck you and fuck your stupid ass contracts.  You will do whatever the fuck we say because we’re giving you billions of dollars.”  Then the media would have smacked Wall Street in the face with their hard cock, while our government ripped off Wall Street’s pants and ass fucked them so hard that they weep tears of blood.

But they aren’t.  Why?  Because they like gang banging us too much.  We suck the media’s dick so well that the moment our lips wrap around their shaft they cum buckets.  And our assholes are so tight that the government would be crazy to pull out.

We’ve become a nation of whores.  We’ve allowed the media and the government to double team us for so long that they’re now letting their friends join in on the fun.  I just hope they bring some lube.   I’m starting to chafe a little bit….

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Tags: AIG, Barack Obama, Democrats, Fuck every single one of those fuckers, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Wall Street
Comments (7)

I…I don’t understand.  How could you publish this?  Where were your editors?   Who’s responsible for printing this shitass cartoon? Because I’m pissed.  Not because it’s racist.  I could give a shit about that.  Racism will always be around as long as rich, white people are in power.   I’m pissed because this goddamn cartoon isn’t funny.

Where’s the punch line?  Is it supposed to be the dead chimpanzee or the pussy ass white cops or the lame one-liner about the stimulus bill?

And how the fuck do you come up with that combination?  At no point in the history of my kick-ass existence have I thought about combining a bill that’s designed to help millions of Americans struggling to pay their bills and feed their families with a chimpanzee killed by two white cops with the one-liner,”They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”

I have thought about combining a bill that’s designed to help millions of Americans struggling to pay their bills and feed their families with a chimpanzee being raised over two white cops’ heads with the one-liner, “Hopefully we won’t need another person to write the next stimulus bill.” And that’s why I’m pissed.

This fucking political cartoon isn’t funny.  It doesn’t have a point, it’s poorly drawn, and it pisses in the face of every important political cartoon throughout America’s history.  Benjamin Franklin’s “Join or Die”, Thomas Nast’s “BOSS TWEED”, and Louis Maurer’s “The Great Republican Reform Party Calling on Their Candidate” now smell like fucking urine, you fucking cow cunt.

So get your fucking act together New York Post and start putting in political cartoons that are funny and have a point or I’ll start a public backlash so bad that it will make those Muslim backlashes look like a fucking birthday party.

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Tags: Democrats, Fuck New York Post, Fuck Rupert Murdoch, Fuck unfunny political cartoons, Republicans
Comments (3)

Because sometimes I want to give my readers something good to read…

The US News & World Report calls Bill O’Reilly a “cock grabbing lesbian who should swallow a horse cock and die.” Okay they really didn’t call him that, but I know they will one day.

The Rude Pundit signed up for the Family Research Council prayer group and each week receives a prayer list with issues he should pray about.  I’ve got to be honest, I was a little surprised to find that Jesus doesn’t want Congress helping the needy.

Politics By Satire makes a good point, how the fuck can those cunts at Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC say they feel our pain when they’re wiping their asses with toilet paper made from silk?

Barack Obama is rumored to be appointing a marijuana friendly police sheriff to the position of Drug Czar. I don’t like that title…Drug Czar.  Sounds too fucking weird.  Like they want to scare me or something.  Almost makes me want to put down my joint…

If you’re a member of Twitter and want to know which members of Congress to follow as they fuck up,  than here is a complete list of those Washington assholes.

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Tags: CNN, Democrats, Fox News, Free Links, I'm so hungry right now, MSNBC, Phuck Politics, Republicans
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Finally….a Senator I can masturbate to.

Fans of porn star Stormy Daniels are drafting her to run for the U.S. Senate seat in Louisiana now held by Republican Sen. David Vitter. And it’s no racy gimmick, they say.

The Draft Stormy Web site says that “2010 presents the Pelican State with the opportunity to start with a clean slate — to elect a representative that we can be proud of, who will work tirelessly, and who will challenge the status quo. We at the Draft Stormy campaign feel that Baton Rouge native Stormy Daniels is best suited to fulfill these duties.”

I think the people of Louisiana would be stupid not to vote for her.  She’s qualified.  She used to be an editor for her high school newspaper and the president of her 4-H club. And best of all…she takes a dick like a champ.  What is there not to love about her?

“But Ron…she’s a porn star.  She has had more cocks inside her mouth than a Catholic priest.  To be a Senator, you have to be pure. You have to be as clean as James Dobson.  You can’t have any dark secrets in your past or else your opponent will use them against you.”

Oh really? I didn’t know that, concerned Republican citizen I just made up. You mean to tell me that Senator David Vitter doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet?

“Not that I know of.  From what I hear, he is a good, God fearing, Christian man.”

Is that right, fake old lady who jumped into the conversation without me asking you too?  If you truly believe that, than you need to read the front page of the newspaper instead of the fucking obituaries.  Because when you do, you will see that David Vitter has a huge prostitution habit.  First he fucked around with Madam D.C. from October 12,1999 to February 27,2001 (who’s now dead, I’m not saying David Vitter killed her, just saying that it’s strange that she’s dead now) and he just got done fucking Wendy Cortez who worked for the “Canal Street Madam”…which is a bad ass name for a boss.

“So what.  Those are just rumors created by the left-wing propaganda machine.  This woman, this Stormy Daniels, has had sex with numerous people on camera.  Sometimes it would be her and four other men, doing disgusting things that sort of turned me on.”

Oh shut the fuck up with that stupid “left-wing” shit, fake church going college student who has illegally downloaded every Stormy Daniels’ video.  So what if she’s taken it up the ass while jerking off two men and receiving a mouthful of semen?  I don’t see you doing that.  Why?   Because that takes talent.  Talent you don’t have.  Plus, she isn’t hiding it from the American people.  She isn’t acting like she’s better than everyone else, while going behind her spouse’s back and paying thousands of dollars for sex with a woman who isn’t good looking enough to get into porn so she has to become a hooker to feed her sex habit.

I know the real reason why people don’t want to vote for her and I understand.  Look, if she gets elected and can’t make those sweet fucking videos of her using her God-given talent of riding a dick while wearing 8-inch heels, there will be other sexy porn stars to take her place.  Don’t be selfish.

So do me a favor and listen to what she has to say.  Please?  It can’t be any worse than that stupid fuck who’s in the Senate now.  Because I’m sure if Stormy Daniels was the Senator of Louisiana, she would be on her knees asking who’s dick she had to suck to insure that her state got the money it needs to fucking rebuild New Orleans.

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Tags: David Vitter, Democrats, Hookers, Porn Stars, Republicans, Stormy Daniels, This is great
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