Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation |

Jesus likes this idea

Did ya hear the good news? I own a bank now.

The federal government on Sunday night said it would throw its weight toward stabilization of troubled financial-services giant Citigroup Inc. (C) by moving to guarantee $306 billion in troubled assets on the bank’s books, according to a joint statement issued by the Federal Reserve, Treasury Department and Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.

The deal involves Treasury injecting an additional $20 billion in capital into Citigroup. Treasury will charge an 8% interest rate for the first few years, which is higher than the rate charged to other banks participating in the Troubled Asset Relief Program. Citi had already received $25 billion in aid from TARP.

God this is great. I went to sleep last night not owning anything and when I wake up, BOOM, I’m the proud owner of Citigroup.

What should I do first? Buy a car? How about a huge mansion? Oh I know…I’m going to Amsterdam and checking out the ‘Red Light District’. I’ve always wanted to go but never had the money…until now.

This is so exciting. I still can’t believe I, Ron McKie, own a bank. And my 7th grade teacher said I wouldn’t amount to anything. Fuck you Mr. Northrope. Where’s your bank at jackass?

What? No. He can’t own the same bank I do. That’s impossible.

We all own the bank? Every person who pays taxes? What the fuck. How is that possible?

Do they get a cut of the money like me? No? Good.

Fucking Christ. We don’t get any money? Only the CEO’s of that bank gets money? Are you sure?

Goddamnit.

I always get screwed.

Fuck Citigroup and fuck the government. I hope Iran drops their one nuclear bomb on Washington DC and those fucking cunts burn in their 1,000 dollar suits. Fucking cock swallowing motherfuckers.

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Tags: Amsterdam, Citibank, Citigroup, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, Federal Reserve System, Financial services, Troubled Asset Relief Program, United States Department of the Treasury
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Today Congress has called Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke into their office to hear how bailout is going. Let’s see what they had to say.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke told lawmakers Tuesday that the $700 billion bailout program was making progress despite increasing criticism of it in recent weeks.

Speaking before the House Financial Services committee, Paulson and Bernanke, joined by Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation Chairman Sheila Bair, stressed that they tried to respond as appropriately as possible in what has been a rapidly changing and painful crisis that has roiled the entire global financial system.

“I am very proud of the decisive actions by Treasury, the Fed and the FDIC to stabilize our financial system,” Paulson told members of Congress in his prepared remarks. “We have done what was necessary as facts and conditions in the market and economy have changed.”

If they’re proud I’m proud.

They wouldn’t lie to us, right? I’m just being paranoid when I think Henry Paulson is giving our money to his friends, right? That’s not the reason behind his push for no regulation, right?

Yea I’m just being paranoid….got to cut back on the acid-laced marijuana…

…I’m just kidding folks…we’re getting fucked…up the ass…without a condom…hard.