Chris_Wallace_Douchebag

If you had the chance to interview Dick Cheney after the IG Torture report came out, what would you ask him? Would you ask him how he felt about tarnishing the country’s image? Would you ask him how he felt about the hundreds of prisoners that died while in American custody? Would you ask him how scared he was about the possibility of becoming a war criminal?

If you’re Chris Wallace you don’t ask any of these hard-hitting questions. Instead you ask him these questions:

Why are you so concerned about the idea of one administration reviewing, investigating the actions of another one?

Do you think this was a political move not a law enforcement move?

The inspector general’s report which was just released from 2004 details some specific interrogations — mock executions, one of the detainees threatened with a handgun and with an electric drill, waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times. First of all, did you know that was going on?

So even these cases where they went beyond the specific legal authorization, you’re OK with it?

That’s right, instead of asking Dick Cheney about being the mastermind of America’s torture program, Chris Wallace decided to get on his knees and do his best Jenna Haze impression.

Of course Chris Wallace didn’t think he was being soft on Dick Cheney. I’m sure he thought he asked all the right questions. And I’m sure after the interview he went back to his room, turned on his TiVo, unzipped his pants and jerked off to Dick Cheney answering his tough questions.

Just like every white, redneck, stupid fucking American who thinks Dick Cheney is a true patriot.

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