If you had the chance to interview Dick Cheney after the IG Torture report came out, what would you ask him? Would you ask him how he felt about tarnishing the country’s image? Would you ask him how he felt about the hundreds of prisoners that died while in American custody? Would you ask him how scared he was about the possibility of becoming a war criminal?

If you’re Chris Wallace you don’t ask any of these hard-hitting questions. Instead you ask him these questions:

Why are you so concerned about the idea of one administration reviewing, investigating the actions of another one?

Do you think this was a political move not a law enforcement move?

The inspector general’s report which was just released from 2004 details some specific interrogations — mock executions, one of the detainees threatened with a handgun and with an electric drill, waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times. First of all, did you know that was going on?

So even these cases where they went beyond the specific legal authorization, you’re OK with it?

That’s right, instead of asking Dick Cheney about being the mastermind of America’s torture program, Chris Wallace decided to get on his knees and do his best Jenna Haze impression.

Of course Chris Wallace didn’t think he was being soft on Dick Cheney. I’m sure he thought he asked all the right questions. And I’m sure after the interview he went back to his room, turned on his TiVo, unzipped his pants and jerked off to Dick Cheney answering his tough questions.

Just like every white, redneck, stupid fucking American who thinks Dick Cheney is a true patriot.

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Tags: Fuck Chris Wallace, Fuck Dick Cheney, Fuck Fox News, Torture
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Tell me the New York Times is lying.

The Central Intelligence Agency withheld information about a secret counterterrorism program from Congress for eight years on direct orders from former Vice President Dick Cheney, the agency’s director, Leon E. Panetta, has told the Senate and House intelligence committees, two people with direct knowledge of the matter said Saturday.

You know what? This can’t be the whole story. I’m sure Dick Cheney has a good reason for doing this. I’m going to withhold judgment until I see what he has to say.

Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney were unsuccessful.

Okay, Dick was busy. Maybe him and his daughter went to see that new Bruno movie and he turned off his cell phone because he didn’t want to ruin the movie for everybody. Yeah, that’s something Dick would do. He would make sure that his cell phone was off because he respects people too much, and that’s why they couldn’t get in touch with him. Besides, I’m sure he told his family what to say when the New York Times called.

Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney through relatives were unsuccessful

Okay, maybe they were busy too. Maybe they were out on the beach, or at some horse ranch. I mean, they can’t sit around all day waiting on the New York Times to call. They’ve got shit to do. But again, I’m sure Dick knew that. That’s why he left a message with his associates to give  to the New York Times.

Efforts to reach Mr. Cheney through associates were unsuccessful.

Oh goddammit. Really Dick? Really? Your fucking ass as been all over the goddamn place talking about how this country is unsafe, and how Obama is a pussy, and how gay people should be allowed to marry, but when a major story comes out saying you’ve been running a secret CIA program that you’ve kept from Congress you suddenly drop off the face of the earth?

You know what you are Dick? You’re a big, fat, wart covered pussy that sits around all day signing off on torture techniques and secret assassination squads, and telling everyone that you can do whatever the fuck you want because the country is under attack. Until someone calls you out on all your bullshit. Then you shove a tampon up your fucking twat and run off crying like Michael Jackson’s daughter.

I cannot wait until some fat hung motherfucker bends you over his prison bed and ass fucks you so hard that every time you cough you taste his children.

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Tags: Fuck Congress, Fuck Dick Cheney, Fuck the CIA
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Hey did you hear? Dick Cheney has finally admitted that there was no link between Saddam Hussein and 9-11. We’ve got the bastard. Let the war crime charges begin.

What? You didn’t hear about that? Why didn’t you hear about it? The evil fuck said it during this years National Press Club.

Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Dick Cheney rarely takes a position that places him at a more progressive tilt than President Obama. But on Monday, the former vice president did just that, saying that he supports gay marriage as long as it is deemed legal by state and not federal government.

Do you honestly believe Dick Cheney supports gay marriage? Really? Or do you think he’s just saying this because he knows people will care more about this lie than they will about the truth of Saddam Hussein not being linked to 9-11?

Use your goddamn heads. This man doesn’t give a fuck a gay marriage. If he did, he would have supported it during the 8 fucking years he was in office. He’s supporting it now because he wants the world to forget how he used lies to justify invading Iraq. Don’t you see that?

No, of course you don’t. You’re too busy giving Dick Cheney credit for being more progressive than President Obama.

Well fuck you.

Because of this piece of shit our country is fighting in two wars, is in a deep depression, has no social safety net, has given his former business billions of dollars in no-bid contracts, and is responsible for the hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqi civilians.

So forgive me if I don’t get on my knees and swallow Dick Cheney’s load. This piece of shit should be in jail for all the crimes he’s committed, yet everyone in this fucking country could give a shit because he supports gay marriage.

I hope every one of you stupid fucking cuntbags who gives Dick Cheney credit for supporting gay marriage dies from multiple cock slaps to the face – you fucking pussies.

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Tags: 9-11, Dick Cheney, Fuck Dick Cheney, Gay Marriage, Saddam Hussein, This coutry is full of idiots
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