Then let the Liberty Counsel, that wonderful far-right religious group that’s part of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, do it for you.

Sec. 59B, Pg. 170, Line 1 – Any NONRESIDENT alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay for their health care.)

Sec. 1177, Pg. 354 – Government will RESTRICT enrollment of special needs people! “Extension of Authority of Special Needs Plans to Restrict Enrollment.”

Sec. 1233, Pg. 425, Lines 4-12 – Government mandates Advance (Death) Care Planning consultation. Think Senior Citizens and end of life. END-OF-LIFE COUNSELING. SOME IN THE ADMINISTRATION HAVE ALREADY DISCUSSED RATIONING HEALTH CARE FOR THE ELDERLY.

Sec. 2511, Pg. 992 – Government will establish school-based “health” clinics. Your children will be indoctrinated and your grandchildren may be aborted!

It amazes me that somewhere deep in the bowels of Liberty University, a Jesus-loving, poor-people hating white guy is reading one of the seven hundred health care bills and shouts, “Holy Magical Jesus! Frank, the government is going to establish school-based health clinics that will brainwash our children into having premarital  sex in order to have abortions.

“Quick, get on the phone with all the health insurance companies and have them wire us millions of dollars while I write a list of talking points. Then we will e-mail these talking points to every white man and woman over the age of 43 and use the millions of dollars from the health insurance companies to run scary ads during their favorite TV shows.

“Of course these talking points and ads will scare them. We need these people to be scared. Universal health care isn’t something Jesus would approve. He hated helping the poor. Why do you think he threw all those people out of the temple? Exactly, he did it because they were trying to help the poor. And that’s why we need to kill Obama’s health care bill. Because if we don’t Jesus will throw us out of America.”

It must be nice not having to think for yourself….

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Tags: Fuck Fox News, Fuck Jerry Falwell, Fuck Religion, Fuck Republicans
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When he heard about this:

A former Blackwater employee and an ex-US Marine who has worked as a security operative for the company have made a series of explosive allegations in sworn statements filed on August 3 in federal court in Virginia. The two men claim that the company’s owner, Erik Prince, may have murdered or facilitated the murder of individuals who were cooperating with federal authorities investigating the company. The former employee also alleges that Prince “views himself as a Christian crusader tasked with eliminating Muslims and the Islamic faith from the globe,” and that Prince’s companies “encouraged and rewarded the destruction of Iraqi life.”

I fucking love it when religious wackos are revealed to be crazier than Charles Manson. And Erik Prince is fucking crazy. I mean, look at the insane shit he believes:

Mr. Prince intentionally deployed to Iraq certain men who shared his vision of Christian supremacy, knowing and wanting these men to take every available opportunity to murder Iraqis. Many of these men used call signs based on the Knights of the Templar, the warriors who fought the Crusades.

Mr. Prince operated his companies in a manner that encouraged and rewarded the destruction of Iraqi life. For example, Mr. Prince’s executives would openly speak about going over to Iraq to “lay Hajiis out on cardboard.” Going to Iraq to shoot and kill Iraqis was viewed as a sport or game. Mr. Prince’s employees openly and consistently used racist and derogatory terms for Iraqis and other Arabs, such as “ragheads” or “hajiis.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Knights of the Templar? Killing Iraqis for sport? Laying Hajiis out on cardboard? Is this really the shit Jesus taught? Because if it is then why the hell didn’t my pastor teach me about that instead of caring for the poor, helping the less fortunate, and giving God more money so I could get more blessings?

But murder wasn’t the only illegal activity this Jesus-loving fuckhead did. Nope. This sorry piece of nut flesh was involved in weapon smuggling. He smuggled sawed off semi-automatic machine guns with silencers, hand grenades, hand grenade launchers, and illegal ammunition designed to explode after penetrating within the human body in bags of dog food that were flown into Iraq on his private jet.

But murdering whistle blowers and smuggling illegal weapons into a war zone in the name of Jesus isn’t even the best part of the story.

The best part of the story, the part that get’s me harder than Bob Dole watching an episdoe of True Blood and snorting a pile of crushed Viagra off a random stripper’s tit, is how our government gave Blackwater billions of dollars in no-bid contracts to fight on our behalf in two wars that has cost us over three trillion dollars.

Of course you won’t hear anything about that in the news because they’re too busy bitching about the government trying to take over health care, the government running out of money for the successful “Cash for Clunkers” program, Obama being a secret Keyan, Obama being a racist, and Obama hating America because he drinks Bud Light.

So I hope nothing happens to Erik Prince. I hope Blackwater (Xe Services LLC) continues to get billions of taxpayers’ dollars in no-bid contracts. I hope we continue to fight in this stupid fucking religious war. And I hope CNN broadcasts the battles live like they did during the first Gulf war.

Because shit like this is reason why I get up in the morning.

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Tags: Blackwater, Erik Prince, Fuck Religion, I think Jesus just popped a boner, Religious wars, Xe Services LLC
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First Scott Roeder tells the world more Americans are going to die, and now Pastor Drake tells the world that God is going to kill Barack Obama.

This reminds me of a joke.

Q: What’s the difference between Osama bin Laden and Pastor Drake?

A: Skin color.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Crazy Christians, Fuck Religion, Pastor Drake, Scott Roeder
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America’s terrorists don’t kill women or blow themselves up or kidnap people and cut of their heads.

No, America’s terrorists just kill doctors they don’t agree with.

Late-term abortion doctor George Tiller, a prominent advocate for abortion rights wounded by a protester more than a decade ago, was shot and killed Sunday at his church in Wichita, his attorney said.

A suspect was taken into custody in suburban Kansas City later in the day and was being held until Wichita police could question him, Johnson County Sheriff’s Deputy Tom Erickson said. Erickson confirmed it was the same person Wichita police had been seeking earlier — a man who fled in a 1993 light blue Ford Taurus registered in the Kansas City suburb of Merriam, Kan.

I’m assuming this man is being held at Guantanamo Bay. I mean, the federal government can’t place him in a maximum security jail because he might get recruited for future terrorist activities like those four black guys from New York, right?

Of course not.

What happened in Kansas wasn’t terrorism. Terrorism involves a group of poor Muslim men killing innocent American soldiers because Allah told them to. Terrorism doesn’t involve a middle class Christian man who kills an abortion doctor because God told him to.

If President Obama had any balls he would declare this man an enemy combatant like Ali al-Marri and let the fucker rot in jail. But he won’t because he’s a sackless chicken shit who’s too busy killing innocent civilians in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Because that’s where the real terrorists are.

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Tags: American terrorist, Crazy Christians, Crazy White People, Domestic terrorism, Fuck Religion
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