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Thanks for looking out for the little guy:

Mother Jones has obtained a copy of Sen. Chris Dodd’s plan to house a consumer financial protection office within the Department of the Treasury rather than creating an independent agency. Several other news sources have received copies, but none have made the leaked document publicly available. We’re posting Chris Dodd’s consumer financial protection plan here (PDF). It seems certain to disappoint experts and progressives who had called for a powerful new agency. (Andy Kroll has more on this.) This is the document’s top-line summary:

Create a [Bureau of Financial Protection] inside of Treasury with a Presidentially-appointed director; a dedicated budget (through assessments on large banks, non-banks, and with the Fed making up the shortfall); autonomous rule-writing authority with the regulations to apply across-the-board to all entities offering financial services or products; and examination and enforcement authority for large banks and mortgage companies, small banks in a back-up capacity, and other non-banks on a risk basis, as described below.

The independent agency proposal would be dropped.

Now why would Chris Dodd water down a bill he strongly supported a year ago? Easy, his corporate master, Jamie Dimon, told him too:

Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, says he believes Washington has become increasingly erratic and unfair in its treatment of the banks over the last few months, and he now has some regrets about participating in the government’s Troubled Asset Relief Program.

[...]

Mr. Dimon said Thursday at the Investor Day conference that he supported certain new regulations to secure the financial system, but not all of them. He said JPMorgan had always supported the creation of a systemic risk regulator, which would be controlled by the Federal Reserve, to monitor the largest and most interconnected banks in the nation.

He disagreed with one proposal to create a separate agency devoted to consumer protection, which would regulate a whole host of activities from mortgages to credit cards.

“We want better consumer protection; we just don’t want a new agency. We think it should be done by the O.C.C. and the Fed,” Mr. Dimon said, referring to the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency.

“Yes, you can say they didn’t do a great job, but they are professional people,” he said. The elegant solution is for Congress to tell them do a better job.”

Mr. Dimon may get his wish, thanks to some persuasive lobbyists in Washington. Senator Christopher J. Dodd, Democrat of Connecticut and chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, said last month that he might drop demands for a new agency after pushing for its creation.

Many people believe Democrats are pussies. They’re not. They’re just corrupt and do whatever their corporate masters tell them to do.

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finger

Why do most Americans believe in the conservative philosophy?

Most Americans believe in small government, yet they love big cars, big houses, big explosions, big guns, big muscles, big tits, big dicks, big asses, big bank accounts, big buildings, big roller coasters, big TVs, big trucks, big vans, big dogs, big knives, big steaks, big cigars, big football players, big basketball players, big baseball players, big paychecks, big churches, big airplanes, big tanks, big jets, big bombs, big robots, big spaceships, big car crashes, and big orgasms.

Most Americans believe in being fiscally responsible, yet they waste money on worthless shit like cars, houses, boats, vacations, clothes, jewelry, watches, shoes, prostitutes, dinners, iPhones, iPods, Macs, PCs, porn DVDs, CDs, Jesus dildos, and books written by retards.

Most Americans believe in being pro-life, yet they murder doctors, lawyers, teachers, judges, nurses, homosexuals, heterosexuals, Blacks, Whites, Iraqis, Cubans, Asians, Mexicans,  Afghans,  Iranians, Russians, Germans, and Pakistanis.

Most Americans don’t follow one fucking area of the conservative philosophy, yet there are twice as many Americans who consider themselves conservative than liberal. Why?

Because most Americans would rather help some rich, powerful white Wall Street CEO buy his seventh mansion than help some poor, weak, homeless nigger get health care.

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Talking Points

Then let the Liberty Counsel, that wonderful far-right religious group that’s part of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, do it for you.

Sec. 59B, Pg. 170, Line 1 – Any NONRESIDENT alien is exempt from individual taxes. (Americans will pay for their health care.)

Sec. 1177, Pg. 354 – Government will RESTRICT enrollment of special needs people! “Extension of Authority of Special Needs Plans to Restrict Enrollment.”

Sec. 1233, Pg. 425, Lines 4-12 – Government mandates Advance (Death) Care Planning consultation. Think Senior Citizens and end of life. END-OF-LIFE COUNSELING. SOME IN THE ADMINISTRATION HAVE ALREADY DISCUSSED RATIONING HEALTH CARE FOR THE ELDERLY.

Sec. 2511, Pg. 992 – Government will establish school-based “health” clinics. Your children will be indoctrinated and your grandchildren may be aborted!

It amazes me that somewhere deep in the bowels of Liberty University, a Jesus-loving, poor-people hating white guy is reading one of the seven hundred health care bills and shouts, “Holy Magical Jesus! Frank, the government is going to establish school-based health clinics that will brainwash our children into having premarital  sex in order to have abortions.

“Quick, get on the phone with all the health insurance companies and have them wire us millions of dollars while I write a list of talking points. Then we will e-mail these talking points to every white man and woman over the age of 43 and use the millions of dollars from the health insurance companies to run scary ads during their favorite TV shows.

“Of course these talking points and ads will scare them. We need these people to be scared. Universal health care isn’t something Jesus would approve. He hated helping the poor. Why do you think he threw all those people out of the temple? Exactly, he did it because they were trying to help the poor. And that’s why we need to kill Obama’s health care bill. Because if we don’t Jesus will throw us out of America.”

It must be nice not having to think for yourself….

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Sarah Palin Smiling

For the love of God, can we please stop talking about Sarah Palin?

In the wake of Governor Palin stepping down from her job, new allegations have surfaced today in Alaska charging Palin with additional violations of the Alaska Executive Ethics Act.

Zane Henning — a conservative government watchdog from the governor’s hometown of Wasilla and an oilfield worker on Alaska’s North Slope — asserts in a letter to Alaska Attorney General Daniel S. Sullivan that Palin has “been charging and pocketing per diem to live in her home and has used the process for a personal gain since being elected.”

Look, I get it. Everyone hates Sarah Palin, but I’m sick of hearing about her retarded baby-making ass. I’m sick of seeing her on TV complaining about David Letterman, the liberal/drive-by media, wasteful government spending, her fucking god, the lack of a Department of Law, and teen pregnancy.

When are we going to hear about the important things like how the Democrats are doing their best Republican impersonation, and how Bobby Jindal veto a bill that would have helped the homeless, or and Blackwater was hit with another lawsuit?

So can we please, please, please, please, please, stop talking about Sarah Palin? Because the more I see her fucking face on TV, the more I want to stab myself in the face with a hot curling iron.

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