And dumb as ever.

Former President George W. Bush fired a salvo at President Obama on Wednesday, asserting his administration’s interrogation policies were within the law, declaring the private sector, not government, will fix the economy and rejecting the nationalization of health care, the Washington Times reported.

Repeatedly in his hourlong speech and question-and-answer session, Bush said he would not directly criticize the new president, who has moved to take over financial institutions and several large corporations, the paper reported. Several times, however, he took direct aim at Obama policies as he defended his own during eight years in office.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s the difference between direct criticism and indirect? I mean, isn’t saying someone’s mother sleeps with many men for five dollars the same as saying she’s a cheap whore? For fuck’s sake governor bush, grow some fucking balls.

And what are these “several large corporations” the government has taken over? I can only name GM? What are the others?

And besides pushing for national health care and “ending” waterboarding, how is Obama any different than bush? Both love going to war. Both love having large prisons to keep detainees forever. Both love signing billion dollar war bills. Both love giving private contractors taxpayers’ money. Both love using the state secrets privilege. Both love bailing out Wall Street. Both love bailing out the auto industry. And both love having former Goldman Sachs employees as Treasury Secretaries.

So where are the fucking differences?

There are none. Both of these fucking guys love the taste of rich white man seman, and they don’t give a shit about anyone else. So could we please stop with this bush vs Obama shit? Because we’ve got more important things to talk about. Like getting David Letterman off the air.

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Tags: Barack Obama, George Bush, War on Terror, White House
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Why is the only person making sense about torture a former WWF wrestler? And why is he arguing with this worthless cunt about it?

Why are people in this country pissed off at Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid for being briefed on torture, but not pissed off at George Bush and Dick Cheney for authorizing torture? Why is Barack Obama not willing to prosecute CIA agents who tortured, but isn’t willing to free soldiers from jail who tortured?

Why is waterboarding considered an enhanced interrogation technique when our government does it, but considered torture when the Vietnamese government does it?

Why has there been more outrage over Micheal Vick torturing dogs, than there has been over the Bush administration torturing humans?

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Tags: Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, George Bush, Harry Reid, I don't understand this fucking country, Jesse Ventura, Michael Vick, Nancy Pelosi, The View
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First the bad news.

Five men dead in an apartment. In a county that might see five homicides in an entire year, the call over the sheriff’s radio revealed little about what awaited law enforcement at a sprawling apartment complex.

The five dead men lay scattered about the living room of one apartment in a complex of hundreds.

Some of the men showed signs of torture: Burns seared into their earlobes revealed where modified jumper cables had been clamped as an improvised electrocution device. Adhesive from duct tape used to bind the victims still clung to wrists and faces, from mouths to noses.

As a final touch, throats were slashed open, post-mortem.

The drug war, with the savagery it brings, knows no bounds. It had landed in his back yard, in the foothills of the Appalachians, in Alabama’s wealthiest county, around the corner from The Home Depot.

Holy shit.  Torture, murder, and drugs?  All in Alabama’s wealthiest and whitest county?  This can’t be good.  How the fuck are we going to defeat these evil drug dealers?

Good news, President Obama has the solution.

The White House and Congress want to see more drug courts, and increased funding for the program 250 percent in the spending bill signed in March.

It’s a campaign pledge that the Obama administration thinks will give nonviolent offenders “a chance to serve their sentence, where appropriate, in the type of drug rehabilitation programs that have proven to work better than a prison term in changing bad behavior,” according to the White House Web site.

That’s right.  The Obama plan does not call for legalizing marijuana and ending the drug war.   It calls for more spending and forcing people into rehab.

This man is a fucking genius.  I mean, who cares if the typical success rate in the drug rehab field is between 2 and 20 percent?  Who cares if the average cost of rehab is 7,000 dollars a month?  And who cares if the 12-step program is just another way for religious fanatics to force Christianity down your goddamn throat?

We’ve got to stop this drug war, and Barack Obama has the plan.  And you know what?  I trust him.  Because he’s not like George Bush.  He actually cares about America.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Drug War, George Bush, What a stupid asshole
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And this is how it all began.

OVAL OFFICE

George Bush sits behind his desk while Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, George Tenet, Donald Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzales, Jay Bybee and John Yoo sit around arguing with each other.

Dick Cheney: (to Colin Powell and Condoleezaa Rice) Will you two educated niggers shut the fuck up and listen to the goddamn wetback…

John Yoo: Um, I’m Korean sir.

Dick Cheney: (not paying attention) and the dickless white guy..

Jay Bybee:  I’m pretty sure I have a dick sir.

Dick Cheney: (still not paying attention)…because they’re saying this is perfectly legal.  And I’d like to think that lawyers from the Justice Department know a thing or two about the law.

Colin Powell:  I don’t know Dick.  I mean, some of these things sound like torture to me.

Dick Cheney: (yelling)  Goddammit Colin.  How many times do I have to say this?  We do not torture people.  We use enhanced interrogation techniques.  How fucking hard is that to comprehend?  Torturing is bad.  Enhanced interrogation techniques is good.

Condoleezza Rice:  With all due respect sir, it sounds like you’re splitting hairs here.

Dick Cheney:  With all due respect Condi, you can shut your carpet munching ass up.

George Bush has had enough with the fighting and stands up.

George Bush:  Everybody shut the hell up.  (turns to Jay Bybee)  Alright Dickless, let me get this straight.  You’re telling me that our soldiers can strip down detainees, force them to wear adult diapers, deprive them of solid food which will make them shit all over themselves, deprive them of sleep, waterboard them, slam their heads into a wall, kick them, slap them, punch them, hook their genitals up to a car battery, piss on them, shit on them, fire a gun beside their head, put their head in a box of harmless bugs but tell them they’re extremely poisonous in hopes they piss all over themselves, kidnap their families, kill their dog, destroy their home, and rape their loved ones – We can do all of that and not get in trouble if we don’t mean to intentionally harm them and only want information?

Jay Bybee:  Yes sir, that’s correct.

George Bush:  But if one of our soldiers stomps on a detainee’s big toe because they want revenge for the death of one of their comrades who died in an IED explosion, that’s considered torture and we can be charged with war crimes?

Jay Bybee: (looking nervous) Yes…yes sir.

John Yoo:  (nodding his head)  Yes Mr. President, that’s what we’re saying.

George Bush looks at Jay Bybee then at John Yoo then back at Jay Bybee before sitting down without saying a word.  The entire room is silent for 5 minutes while George Bush thinks.

George Bush:  (breaking the silence)  And now you’re asking me to sign off on these things?

John Yoo:  (glances at a smiling Cheney before looking back at George Bush)  That’s correct sir.

George Bush:  (slowly nods his head)  Alright.  But first I need to talk to the Lord.  Gotta know what the Big Guy thinks about all this.

Dick Cheney rubs his hands together like a fat kid about to get a piece of his favorite cake.  Everyone in the room is silent while George Bush lowers his head and starts to pray.

George Bush:  (mumbling to himself)…I know that Lord, but these guys say it’s legal and protected under the Constitution.  Also, don’t forget these terrorist are at war with You.  Of course I know that Lord…

Ten minutes pass before George Bush shouts “AMEN!” and looks up.

George Bush:  Well…

Everyone leans in.

George Bush: (continued)… the Lord says as long as the Justice Department says it’s legal and it isn’t against the Constitution, we can go ahead and do it.  And who am I to argue with the Lord?

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzales, Jay Bybee and John Yoo jump up and chest bumps and high fives each other while Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice slump in their seats.

Dick Cheney: (pointing at Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice)  Suck on that you fucking pussy ass niggers.  Suck on that.

Yep – I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened.  And you know what?  I’m glad.  Because now I know I can kidnap that woman who doesn’t talk to me at the bar I go to every Thursday night, tie her up, pry open her mouth, and make her gag on my cock without fear of being charged with torture – because I only want information on why she doesn’t talk to me.  And for that I have to say, “Thank you George Bush…Thank you.”

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Tags: Alberto Gonzales, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush, George Tenet, How are these people not in jail, Jay Bybee, John Yoo
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And Americans wonder why we’re so hated around the world.

Army Pvt. Brandon Neely was scared when he took Guantanamo’s first shackled detainees off a bus. Told to expect vicious terrorists, he grabbed a trembling, elderly detainee and ground his face into the cement — the first of a range of humiliations he says he participated in and witnessed as the prison was opening for business.

Neely has now come forward in this final year of the detention center’s existence, saying he wants to publicly air his feelings of guilt and shame about how some soldiers behaved as the military scrambled to handle the first alleged al-Qaeda and Taliban members arriving at the isolated U.S. Navy base.

Hogtied and left in the blistering sun for hours.   Punched in the face for not swallowing a pill.  Tearing muscles during  physical therapy and bragging about it.  Getting finger-fucked in the ass by a doctor for no reason. Forced to shit in a bucket in front of women. Locked in a room by themselves and forced to listen to our shitty pop music at full blast.

How are the American people okay with the things we do to these individuals? And who thinks of different ways of torturing people?  Do they come into work, grab a cup of coffee, check their email, get another cup of coffee, then look at their cubical partner and say, “Hey Fred, you remember that report you wrote about how shoving a Bic pen up a prisoner’s ass would cause intense pain and get us the information we need to prevent another attack?  I was thinking, what if you turned it sideways before shoving it up their ass?  Think that would be more painful?  Yeah?  Wow, thanks Fred.  I’m glad you like it.  I was up all night thinking about it and I’ve got to be honest…I was a little nervous telling you my idea, but I’m glad my balls dropped and I decided to tell you.  Sure you can use it in your report, just don’t take all the credit..okay?”

And what the fuck is up with these doctors shoving their fingers up the asses of grown men  and enjoying it?  Who would want to do something like that?   Do these men wake up in the morning, roll over, kiss their wives and say, “Looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day for some anal finger fucking baby…and goddammit I can’t wait.”  I’m sorry but I would rather fuck a zebra in the ass as it runs away from a starving lion than have that shitty ass job.

But nobody seems to care about this.  It isn’t on the front page of CNN and MSNBC (I’m not stupid enough to think that fucking Fox News would report it.)  I haven’t heard about this story on ABC, NBC, or CBS.  I haven’t read about this story in the Washington Post, New York Times, New York Post, Chicago Tribune, LA Times or any other “major” newspaper.

Why not?

Because nobody gives a shit.  Nobody cares about the thousands of people locked up in some prison in the Caribbean, against their will, with no evidence that they did anything wrong.  Nobody cares that we have teenage boys getting the shit kicked out of them because they looked at a solider the wrong way.  Nobody cares that we have elderly men clinging to life as they get their balls electrocuted because they won’t answer a soldier’s question.  Nobody cares what we do to these people as long as we don’t let them go.

Because if we let them go, then we might be forced to deal with the consequences.  We might be forced to deal with a middle-aged ex-Gitmo detainee blowing himself up inside a Wal-Mart because he was so angry about being  anal raped by US doctors. We might be forced to deal with a teenage ex-Gitmo  detainee opening fire with an AK-47 inside the Mall of America because he was so angry about having his testicles sliced open. We might be forced to deal with an elderly ex-Gitmo detainee driving a van full of explosives into a elementary school playground because he was so angry at losing all of his teeth when soldiers repeatedly kicked him in the face.

What we will be forced to deal with is called blowback, you stupid fucks, and I hope it happens.  I hope TV cameras are around to catch everything as it happens and I really, really hope that some ex-Gitmo detainee seeking revenge blows themselves up beside Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity while they take turns blowing Bill O’Reilly.

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Tags: George Bush, Guantanamo Bay, Soliders, Torture, War is fucking stupid, White House
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But he really should just shut the fuck up.  He doesn’t want to help the American people.  Not really.  If he truly cared about the American people, he could easily end wasteful spending and stimulate the economy without spending taxpayers’ dollars.

If he wanted to help the American people, he would end the fucking War on Drugs that cost 40 billion dollars a year.  If he wanted to help the American people, he would stop spending billions of dollars over in Iraqi.  If he wanted to help the American people, he wouldn’t go to war in Afghanistan when it isn’t winnable.  If he wanted to help the American people, he wouldn’t have increased the defense budget by 8 percent.  If he wanted to help the American people, he wouldn’t give any more money to the banks.  If he wanted to help the American people, he wouldn’t appoint assholes from the Fed who caused this mess.  If he wanted to help the American people, he would throw those business fucks on Wall Street in jail for stealing.

But he doesn’t want to help the American people.  The only reason why he wants to push this bill through is because there’s a shit ton of programs the Democrats want that are included in it.  It’s like Rahm Emanuel says,”Never let a serious crisis go to waste. What I mean by that is it’s an opportunity to do things you couldn’t do before.”

Or was that George Bush who said that?  Shit…well, either way…fuck those two shit stains and fuck Barack Obama.  I’ll start to respect him when he does something that benefits the American people…

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Tags: Barack Obama, Congress, Fuck everyone who works in Washington, George Bush, Rahm Emanuel, Stimulus bill
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Nancy, what the fuck is this shit?  Do you think this is cute?  Are you trying to be hip?  Cool?  Trying to show the new voters that you are down with their lingo?

Fucking stop it.

You have more important things to do than put up a video of your fucking cats then switching to Rick Astley singing “Never Going to Give You Up”.  How about putting up a video on YouTube telling the American people why Bank of America is receiving another 20 billion dollars from the government?  Or how about a video telling the American people why you won’t impeach governor bush, even when he admitted he authorized torture?

Or how about you just do your fucking job and leave the rick rollin’ to the people who don’t have a country to shit on, you stupid, old, crusty cunt.

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Tags: Bailout, Bank of America, Democrats, George Bush, Rick Astley
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