This man…he’s…he’s fucking retarded.  There’s no other way to explain it.  He’s a goddamn retard.   I mean who the fuck cares if Barack Obama isn’t sworn in on the Bible?  Does Glenn Beck think that if Barack Obama swears in on the Bible that he will be forced to follow the Constitution?   Because we all know how well that worked with George Bush and Dick Cheney.

The Bible is nothing but a giant book and it won’t protect jackshit.  It’s worthless.  It’s merely a prop used to help those stupid fucking “religious” people sleep better at night.  Want to know how I know that the Bible holds no magical powers over those that place their hand over it and swear to it?  I’ve been doing a little experiment.

At 12:01 am, on January 1st, I placed my right hand on the Bible, raised my left hand and swore that I would not wipe my ass with pages torn from the Bible.  Guess what?  I fucking lied.  Each time I take a shit, I rip a page out of the Bible and wipe my ass…and holy fucking Christ does it feel good.

But you want to know what happens?

Not a goddamn thing.  Nothing.  I haven’t been struck down.  I haven’t developed boils on my ass.   My asshole hasn’t suddenly disappeared.   Not one fucking thing has happened to me since I’ve started this experiment.  And you want to know why?

Because the Bible is just a stupid, fucking book.  That’s it.  A work of fiction that has had many authors add fucked up stories to it so that stupid people will believe it and be easier to control.

So Glenn Beck, would you please shut the fuck up?  Because every time your retarded ass says something, you make that retard from Something About Mary seem like a fucking genius.

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