Glenn Beck | - Part 2

Tue 3 Mar, 2009

How do people watch this guy?

Glenn Beck needs to get assfucked to death.

Who the hell watches this man? How can this untalented ass-clown get his own show? Who the fuck keeps tuning in day after day to watch this cunt butcher the news?

Does he honestly think he’s funny? Did his producers laugh when he said, “Listen, I know the next segment is about marijuana and I want to do something funny. You know how marijuana smokers love to eat? Well I’m going to do this…I’m going bring out the brownies from the green room and say, ‘Marijuana brownies anyone?’… You’re right Jim, our viewers will fucking love it…What? Oh, I don’t know. I guess I got my fantastic sense of humor from my father. No, not my earthly father you dumbass. I’m talking about Jesus Christ. I guess He replaced my love of alcohol with a wonderful sense of humor…and I’m not complaining.”

What a fucking idiot.

And what the hell was up with the banner at the bottom? Why does Glenn Beck need to use goofy cartoons during this segment? Does he think it enhances his shitty jokes? Or is he afraid that his viewers might lose interest and change the channel?

And what the fuck kind of questions was he asking? We shouldn’t use the economic situation to push through marijuana legalization? Wasn’t the Great Depression used to repeal alcohol prohibition? Didn’t that help our economy? So why is it so hard for this goofy fuck to connect the dots? Legalizing marijuana will help the economy by allowing the government to tax it, regulate it, and turn it into a multi-billion dollar industry.

But of course this dumb shit doesn’t get it. He’s to busy cracking jokes about how he only has two brain cells left. Which proves my point…this man is a fucking retard.

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Tags: Fox News, Fuck Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, He's fucking retarded, Marijuana
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Wed 25 Feb, 2009

Wild Wednesday Linkage

Classing up this place never felt so good.

Thank you Alan Keyes for proving crazy isn’t racist. [Donklephant]

I’m hoping the stock market falls below 6,000 by Friday. Who’s with me? [Politics By Satire]

I’m impressed someone can hate Glenn Beck more than me. [The Rude Pundit]

Not true, most of the time Republicans put Corporations first. [Pissed on Politics]

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Tags: Alan Keyes, Glenn Beck, Republicans, Wall Street
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Tue 24 Feb, 2009

This article proves it…

…Glenn Beck is a gigantic retard.

It’s official–I may have spent too much time in New York City these past few years, because I’m actually beginning to think about things like a New Yorker. For instance, life with our new President Barack Obama is beginning to feel a lot like being in a taxi, stuck in rush hour traffic: You’re not crazy about the guy behind the wheel, not only do you not like where you’re going (you are trapped in Manhattan after all), but you can’t understand the route he’s taking to get you there, and the whole thing is costing you a small fortune. Yes, a cab ride in the big city is like being on The Road to Socialism.

Maybe not. I kinda understand him. He’s saying socialism is like a taxi ride. I don’t know what the fuck that means, but maybe his next example will help me out.

If Obama wanted to rush in to “save” the ice cream cone industry, I could probably learn to live with that. As much as I’d hate to have the low quality government cones, I think we’d all live happy, normal and productive lives if we were forced to eat our ice cream with spoons out of little bowls.

Nope.

I was right, this guy’s a retard. He’s using a taxi ride and ice-cream to describe what socialism means to him. Jesus Christ, my retarded imaginary friend Carlos knows more about politics than this dumb fuck. We need to find out who hired this piece of shit and beat ‘em to death with a King James Bible.

There’s no fucking way someone interviewed Glenn Beck and thought, “This guy is a fucking genius. His political views are fantastic. He’s two fingers deep in America’s pussy and she’s moaning for more. Goddammit…I can’t wait to put this man on TV.”

Hell no.

I guarantee you they were thinking , “This guy is fucking nuts. Hoping for another civil war? Katrina victims are scumbags? What the fuck is he talking about? And why did I agree to an interview? Who the fuck would want to watch this guy…wait…wait a minute. Our NASCAR demographic would eat this shit up. My God…I’m about to make a fuck load of money.”

Goddammit, I hate Glenn Beck. His drunk, no talent ass should be out on the street sucking dick for cheeseburgers, not getting paid millions of dollars to be on TV. I can’t wait until this cocksucker gets pancreatic cancer and dies in the middle of an interview…

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Tags: Fox News, Fuck Fox News, Fuck Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck, Republicans
Comments (12)

Fri 23 Jan, 2009

Who the fuck listens to this man?

This man…he’s…he’s fucking retarded. There’s no other way to explain it. He’s a goddamn retard. I mean who the fuck cares if Barack Obama isn’t sworn in on the Bible? Does Glenn Beck think that if Barack Obama swears in on the Bible that he will be forced to follow the Constitution? Because we all know how well that worked with George Bush and Dick Cheney.

The Bible is nothing but a giant book and it won’t protect jackshit. It’s worthless. It’s merely a prop used to help those stupid fucking “religious” people sleep better at night. Want to know how I know that the Bible holds no magical powers over those that place their hand over it and swear to it? I’ve been doing a little experiment.

At 12:01 am, on January 1st, I placed my right hand on the Bible, raised my left hand and swore that I would not wipe my ass with pages torn from the Bible. Guess what? I fucking lied. Each time I take a shit, I rip a page out of the Bible and wipe my ass…and holy fucking Christ does it feel good.

But you want to know what happens?

Not a goddamn thing. Nothing. I haven’t been struck down. I haven’t developed boils on my ass. My asshole hasn’t suddenly disappeared. Not one fucking thing has happened to me since I’ve started this experiment. And you want to know why?

Because the Bible is just a stupid, fucking book. That’s it. A work of fiction that has had many authors add fucked up stories to it so that stupid people will believe it and be easier to control.

So Glenn Beck, would you please shut the fuck up? Because every time your retarded ass says something, you make that retard from Something About Mary seem like a fucking genius.

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