Who the fuck's this guy?

Do you like making me drink so early in the morning?

An unemployed military veteran who raised no funds and put up no campaign website shocked South Carolina’s Democratic Party leadership by capturing the nomination Tuesday to face Republican U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint in November.

With nearly all precincts reporting, Alvin Greene, 32, commanded 59 percent of the vote against 41 percent for former four-term state lawmaker Vic Rawl, 64, who had raised about $186,000 and had to abruptly scrap a late-week fundraiser for the fall.

State Democratic Party Chairwoman Carol Fowler said voters unfamiliar with either candidate may have voted alphabetically for Greene over Rawl.

“As far as I know, he never showed up at anything. Vic Rawl has been campaigning everywhere from the time he filed,” she said.

First there was Mark Sanford fucking a smoking hot Argentinian woman on the taxpayers’ dime, then there was the South Carolina man sexing a horse, then there was Joe Wilson screaming at the president, then there was Andre Bauer comparing poor people to stray animals, then there was state Senator Jake Knotts calling Nikki Haley and President Obama a raghead, and now there’s this jackass winning the Democratic Party’s Senate nomination.

That’s it. I can’t take this shit no more. I hope to whatever deity’s in the sky that the BP oil spill wipes us out, because we don’t deserve to live.

Update: Here’s video of this fucking guy. I hate my goddamn state.

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