Dear President Obama,

Fuck you.  Fuck the people who work for you.  And fuck the people who work for them.   I hope every one of you worthless cumstains catch the Ebola virus and bleed to death through the asshole.

The thousands of users who asked about changing our stupid ass marijuana laws aren’t trolls.  They’re hard working citizens who’re tired of being called criminals because they enjoy smoking a plant.  They’re sick of having their money wasted on a pointless drug war.  They’re disgusted with how they can get life in prison for hurting no one, yet those cocksuckers on Wall Street get billions of dollars when they’ve ass fucked the entire world.

Do us a fucking favor and reread history before calling us “trolls” and bushing off the questions about marijuana prohibition.  Read how alcohol prohibition allowed Al Capon, Pretty Boy Floyd, and John Torrio to rise to power.  Read how crime rose during that time.  Read how corrupt our politicians were.  Then read about what happened after we repealed alcohol prohibition.

Or how about you read what Ab Lincoln had to say about prohibition, since you like to think you’re channeling his spirit.  Here I’ll make it easy for you:

“Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man’s appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded.”

Or how about you look at this and see how much money each state could make by taxing marijuana.

But I know you won’t do any of this stuff.  I know you don’t give a shit, because you’re too busy praising those Navy Seals who killed a couple of pirates – even though it’s their goddamn job to kill people.  And I know the media won’t  ask you about the dangers of marijuana prohibition and how it’s helping the drug cartels, because they’re too busy jerking off to your new puppy.

So it looks like the American people are fucked once again.  We’re forced to sit in fear as we enjoy a few puffs from a plant you used to smoke, while you and your corporate handlers steal our life savings and rape our freedoms.

So I’ll just sit here and smoke a joint while hoping that stupid fucking dog rips out your goddamn throat and shits on your chest – you fucking piece of shit.

Love,

Me

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Tags: Barack Obama, Fuck the bullshit, Government, Internet, Marijuana, Wall Street
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I was starting to worry President Obama didn’t care about my nonexistent child’s safety.

The Cybersecurity Act of 2009 introduced in the Senate would allow the president to shut down private Internet networks. The legislation also calls for the government to have the authority to demand security data from private networks without regard to any provision of law, regulation, rule or policy restricting such access.

Thank the invisible man in the sky.  I was starting to worry.  I mean, what would happen if some pimple faced Chinese teenager decided to hack into the mainframe of the Department of Defense, and steal all our secret weapon designs?  How would we be able to defeat the Chinese in WW3 when they’re using the same weapons we are?  Or what would happen if some creepy Russian child prodigy decided to shut off our electricity and force us to live like the majority of Iraqis?  How will we live without being able to get on our computer to see which up-and-coming Hollywood celebrity has a new sex tape?  Or what would happen if some poor Indian boy decided to shut down our banking system and force millions of Americans out of their jobs?  How would we be able to afford that seventh iPhone or the new Macbook?

I’ll tell you want would happen – we’d be running around naked in the streets screaming, “Holy fucking shit.  We are so fucked right now.  I’m so scared about my safety that I just shat myself.  We are all going to die.”

There’s no way we can let this happen.  For God’s sake, we’re talking about National Security here.  The entire American population is under attack every day from these crazy freedom-hating bastards.  And what’s the only thing stopping these attacks?  Windows defender?  Please.

We need something stronger.  We need something that will protect us from everything.  Something that will be awake and alert when we are asleep.  Something that will know what’s best for us, even when we don’t.   Our government knows this and that’s why they’re creating a position with ultimate power over the internet to protect us from those bastards who hate us.

So I hope this law passes.

In fact – I pray this law passes.  Because I don’t know what I would do if my country, the greatest, bestest, freest, lovingest, caringest, amazingest, beautifulest, wonderfulest, most God -fearingest place on the face of the Earth, would come under attack.  I…I just don’t want to think about it.

(Ed. note – Here’s the last link for my 3 international readers.)

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Tags: Barack Obama, Congress, Fuck this sucks, Hope they don't mess with porn, Internet, Serious Business
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