Forever Alone.

And I mean everybody. Qatar, Jordan, Oman, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, the United States, Britain, Israel, and every middle-aged white person living in the Bible Belt. I want to know why everybody wants to bomb Iran.

Is it because their president said he doesn’t believe the Holocaust happened? How is that any worse than our last president telling the world that God told him to invade Iraq?

Is it because Iran’s tortured people? Well if we are going to start bombing nations for torturing people then we need to bomb us, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Britain, Israel, and every major TV executive that greenlights shitty reality  TV shows.

Is it because of Iran’s treatment towards gays? Ha, good one. Who the fuck cares about gays?

Is it because Iran supports terrorism? Maybe, but America should be at the top of the list for countries who need to be bombed for supporting terrorism.

Is it because Iran’s started two illegal wars? Not a fucking chance. Do you know when the last time Iran fought in a war? 1980. Do you know who it was against? Iraq. Do you know who was leading Iraq during the war with Iran? Saddam Hussein. Do you know who was supporting Saddam Hussein? That’s right, America.

So why, why does every-fucking-body want to bomb Iran?

Oh, that’s why.

Iran's about to get fucked up.

I was getting worried we forgot about Iran:

Egypt allowed at least one Israeli and 11 American warships to pass through the Suez Canal as an Iranian flotilla approaches Gaza. Egypt closed the canal to protect the ships with thousands of soldiers, according to the British-based Arabic language newspaper Al Quds al-Arabi.

[...]

Despite Egypt’s reported refusal to block the canal to Iranian boats, the clearance for the American-Israeli fleet may be a warning to Iran it may face military opposition if the Iranian Red Crescent ship continues on course to Gaza.

The warships may exercise the right to inspect the Iranian boat for the illegal transport or weapons. Newsweek reported that Egyptian authorities could stop the ship for weeks, using technicalities such as requiring that any official documents be translated from Farsi into Arabic.

The magazine’s website also reported that the Iranian navy is the weakest part of its armed forces. Tehran has already backed down from announced intentions to escort the Iranian ships with “volunteer marines” from the Iranian Revolutionary Guards.

Okay, so there’s my guess as to what’s going to happen in the Red Sea. Either one of our ships or Israel’s ships are going to conveniently blow up when they confront Iran’s ships. This will give us an excuse to go all Michael Bay on Iran’s ass. Then our government will institute operation “Butt Fuck Iran”. Once that happens the media will get down on its knees and blow anyone who works for the White House, State Department, CIA, Homeland Security, and/or any private mercenary company while our elect officials sink another 3 trillion dollars into a worthless war while denying hundreds of thousands of Americans unemployed benefits.

Of course I could be wrong and the US. and Israel warships could be going to help Iran bring materhahah. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep it together. We all know Iran’s fucked.

Should I believe Fox News:

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claimed Thursday that Iran has produced its first batch of uranium enriched to a higher level, saying his country will not be bullied by the West into curtailing its nuclear program a day after the U.S. imposed new sanctions.

Ahmadinejad reiterated to hundreds of thousands of cheering Iranians on the anniversary of the 1979 foundation of the Islamic republic that the country was now a “nuclear state,” an announcement he’s made before. He insisted that Iran had no intention of building nuclear weapons.

Or should I believe Reuters:

Iran is experiencing surprising setbacks in its efforts to enrich uranium, and assessments suggest equipment failures and other difficulties could undermine its effort to ramp up its nuclear program, The Washington Post reported on Thursday.

You know what? It doesn’t matter if Iran’s bluffing. It doesn’t matter if Iran’s nuclear program has setbacks. It doesn’t matter if Iran’s vice president assassinates Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the middle of a speech praising America. It doesn’t matter if Iran blew up every nuclear facility while Obama watched on Skype. It doesn’t matter if Iran and Israel suddenly became best friends and merged into one super country called Iranael.

It doesn’t matter, because our government will find another reason to invade Iran because they have a bunch of poor brown people that need to be killed and a ton of oil that needs to be refined.

Please?

Because I’m sick of turning on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, CBS, NBC, and the 700 Club (nothing makes me laugh harder than Pat Robertson using the Bible to decipher current events) and seeing some pundit explaining why America needs to bomb Iran.

Why is the media calling for the destruction of Iran? Because Iran might have materials and the knowledge to *gasp* build a nuclear weapon. How horrible is that? Of course we could Google “How to build a nuclear bomb” and build one ourselves, but we aren’t a country full of oil and Muslims.

I mean, the media wants to bomb Iran so bad they’re asking Elliot Abrams for advice. That’s right, Elliot-fucking-Abrams, the guy who pled guilty for lying to Congress about the Iran-Contra scandal.

So as you can tell, this is all bullshit. Iran isn’t a threat. They never have been. So what is the real reason why the media is calling for the destruction of Iran?

They need to get off.

You see, the more bombs that are dropped on innocent Muslim civilians, the harder the media’s cock gets. The more devastation the media sees on TV, the wetter their pussy gets. War is what these sick, depraved corporate whores get off on. It’s what they live for. It’s their drug of choice.

And they need another fix. They’re sick of reporting about Afghanistan and Iraq. They want to report about something new and exciting. They want to report about bombs being dropped in Tehran. They want to report about massive civilian causalities. They want to report about American tanks rolling over parked cars and blowing up office buildings.

And that’s reason why they’re beating the war drums, and that’s the reason why they’re not going to stop until it happens.

How many dicks did this man have to suck to become the 25th United States Ambassador to the United Nations because he makes Sarah Palin’s baby look like a genius.

Yesterday, on Fox’s Hannity and Colmes, Iran war hawk John Bolton said that Israel’s recent bombing campaign in Gaza is all the more reason for the United States to bomb Iran now. “So while our focus obviously is on Gaza right now, this could turn out to be a much larger conflict,” he said, adding that “we’re looking at potentially a multi-front war here.”

How can he expect people to take him seriously with a mustache like that? Look at it.  It looks like someone took a gray, fuzzy shit on his face and he doesn’t have the balls to wipe it off.  No wonder he has been calling for war with Iran for so long now, he’s pissed that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has better facial hair than him.  Stupid bastard.

And why is it the only show that will speak to him is Hannity and Colmes?  Is it because everyone else knows how fucking stupid he is? Sorta like Sean Hannity….

I honestly thought Barack Obama was going to change Washington and that scared me the shit out of me. I didn’t know what would happen if a politician followed through on their promises.  Would the world stop turning?  Would there be peace on Earth?  Would I get laid more?  Lucky for me he’s just like the rest of those slimy pussies.

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates is asking many of the Bush administration’s 250 Pentagon political appointees to remain on the job until the incoming Obama administration finds replacements — a move designed to prevent a leadership vacuum with U.S. troops engaged in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Washington Times reported Tuesday.

The unusual request ensures that key policy positions will not be left to “acting” subordinates as typically occurs when political appointees are directed to resign during a presidential transition, according to the Times.

Man, Barack Obama fooled a ton of people. He made millions off of false promises to stupid people.  He will continue the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.  He will continue to bailout worthless companies with our money. He will continue to do the same stupid shit that George Bush has been doing for the past 8 years.

And I love it.  It’s about time a black man fucked this country up.  At least this man will sound intelligent giving a speech tricking us into a war with Iran and Russia. I can’t wait until he does…

Not looking good

John McCain might want to rethink about getting in a ‘bitch fight‘ with Barack Obama. Yahoo.com is reporting on how McCain was involved with a group of some crazy White people during the Iran-Contra affair:

Barack Obama has his William Ayers connection. Now John McCain may have an Iran-Contra connection. In the 1980s, McCain served on the advisory board to the U.S. chapter of an international group linked to ultra-right-wing death squads in Central America.

The U.S. Council for World Freedom aided rebels trying to overthrow the leftist government of Nicaragua. That landed the group in the middle of the Iran-Contra affair and in legal trouble with the Internal Revenue Service, which revoked the charitable organization’s tax exemption.

The council created by retired Army Maj. Gen. John Singlaub was the U.S. chapter of the World Anti-Communist League, an international organization linked to former Nazi collaborators and ultra-right-wing death squads in Central America. After setting up the U.S. council, Singlaub served as the international league’s chairman.

You read that right. Former Nazi collaborators and ultra-right-wing death squads. I couldn’t make that up, even if I wanted too.  To be honest, I don’t think Tom Clancy could make that shit up.

What’s the Iran-Contra affair?  I’ll allow Wikipedia to help me out:

The Iran-Contra affair was a political scandal which was revealed in November 1986 as a result of earlier events during the Reagan administration. It began as an operation to increase U.S.-Iranian relations, wherein Israel would ship weapons to a moderate, politically influential group of Iranians opposed to the Ayatollah Khomeini; the U.S. would reimburse Israel for those weapons and receive payment from Israel. The moderate Iranians agreed to do everything in their power to achieve the release of six U.S. hostages, who were being held by Hezbollah. The plan eventually deteriorated into an arms-for-hostages scheme, in which members of the executive branch sold weapons to Iran in exchange for the release of the American hostages, without the direct authorization of President Ronald Reagan. Large modifications to the plan were conjured by Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North of the National Security Council in late 1985. In North’s plan, a portion of the proceeds from the weapon sales was diverted to fund anti-Sandinista and anti-communist rebels, or Contras, in Nicaragua. While President Ronald Reagan was a supporter of the Contra cause, there has not been any evidence uncovered showing that he authorized this plan.

After the weapon sales were revealed in November 1986, Ronald Reagan appeared on national television and stated that the weapons transfers had indeed occurred, but that the United States did not trade arms for hostages. The investigation was compounded when large volumes of documents relating to the scandal were destroyed or withheld from investigators by Reagan administration officials. On March 4, 1987, Reagan returned to the airwaves in a nationally televised address, taking full responsibility for any actions that he was unaware of, and admitting that “what began as a strategic opening to Iran deteriorated, in its implementation, into trading arms for hostages.

John McCain is as screwed as that nun who is 3 months pregnant with the Pope’s baby.

But if anyone can comeback from this….it’s John McCain.

Interesting piece of knowledge.  Did you know John McCain used to be a POW?

Well now you do….

Now this is what I call news.

Can you believe that Iran’s Ahmadinejad is coming to the United States?  And being allowed to speak freely?  What gives him the right to do that?

Look at that.  The Swing States’ are split just like they were in 2004.  I wonder why? Doesn’t matter.  Future President John McCain, do everything in your power to win this elect (only do it the legal way…we don’t want another Florida on our hands. Remember the Rodney King trials…that’s all I’m saying)

And look at Bill Clinton.  God that is just gross.  Hey Bill…why don’t you get a picture, it will last longer.  Nobody falls for that face.  It is just…so…..beautiful.

Sarah Palin has written a editorial about what she would of said at an anti-Iran rally.  She was going to attend but the people there decided she was too hot and her message would get lost in her perfect DD breast.  I have to agree with them.  Her looks would of taken away from the amazing message she wanted to get across:

The world has condemned these activities. The United Nations Security Council has demanded that Iran suspend its illegal nuclear enrichment activities. It has levied three rounds of sanctions. How has Ahmadinejad responded? With the declaration that the “Iranian nation would not retreat one iota” from its nuclear program.

So, what should we do about this growing threat? First, we must succeed in Iraq. If we fail there, it will jeopardize the democracy the Iraqis have worked so hard to build, and empower the extremists in neighboring Iran. Iran has armed and trained terrorists who have killed our soldiers in Iraq, and it is Iran that would benefit from an American defeat in Iraq.

If we retreat without leaving a stable Iraq, Iran’s nuclear ambitions will be bolstered. If Iran acquires nuclear weapons — they could share them tomorrow with the terrorists they finance, arm, and train today. Iranian nuclear weapons would set off a dangerous regional nuclear arms race that would make all of us less safe.

But Iran is not only a regional threat; it threatens the entire world. It is the no. 1 state sponsor of terrorism. It sponsors the world’s most vicious terrorist groups, Hamas and Hezbollah. Together, Iran and its terrorists are responsible for the deaths of Americans in Lebanon in the 1980s, in Saudi Arabia in the 1990s, and in Iraq today. They have murdered Iraqis, Lebanese, Palestinians, and other Muslims who have resisted Iran’s desire to dominate the region. They have persecuted countless people simply because they are Jewish.

Iran is responsible for attacks not only on Israelis, but on Jews living as far away as Argentina. Anti-Semitism and Holocaust denial are part of Iran’s official ideology and murder is part of its official policy. Not even Iranian citizens are safe from their government’s threat to those who want to live, work, and worship in peace. Politically-motivated abductions, torture, death by stoning, flogging, and amputations are just some of its state-sanctioned punishments.

Goddamnit….I freaking love this woman.   Is there anything she can’t do?   Look at her play on everyone’s fear of Iran.  She does it so poetically.

Look how she uses torture, death by stoning, flogging and amputations to paint a vivid picture of the horrific conditions in Iran.   Honestly, who else makes you crap your pants by evoking the word amputations?  Nobody that’s who.

Now if you excuse me…I need to go change my pants.  I got a little too excited…..