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Dear John McCain,

Thank you, thank you, thank you. If it wasn’t for you selling out and throwing the religious right a bone then I would have never known who Sarah Palin was and I would have never seen this amazing clip. So again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Love,

Phuck

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John_McCain_Meet_The_Press

Why does the media like this man? Is it because he left his first wife for a younger, richer woman after getting released as a prisoner of war? Is it because he helped create the Saving and Loans collapse in the 1980′s? Is it because he told a funny joke about Chelsea Clinton when she was a teenager? Is it because he suggested the surge for the illegal Iraq War? Or is it because he ‘suspended’ his campaign in order to ‘fix the economy’?

The reason I ask is because I need to know why John McCain is on TV every goddamn Sunday. And it can’t be for his knowledge on the issues, because this man is a fucking idiot. Case in point, he was on yesterday’s Meet The Press talking about how we don’t need to withdraw from Afghanistan because we need to “break the enemy’s will” and “win”.(At least that’s what I think he said. I was having a hard time understanding him over David Gregory’s loud slurping noises.) Of course he doesn’t tell us how to break the enemy’s will or how to win, because David Gregory sucks at his job and didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Now I know I shouldn’t be surprised by what comes out of John McCain’s mouth. I mean, this is the man that talked up Sarah Palin as his vice-president and Phil Gramm as his financial advisor. But I am surprised by how many times he’s been on the Sunday news circuit after he lost the presidency.

I guess he’s just the Beltway’s Clay Aiken. Which makes Obama the Beltway’s Ruben Studdard. Which makes Dick Cheney the Beltway’s Simon Cowell.

Which makes me want to kill myself.

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Sorry about posting two videos in the past two days. Contrary to what the poster Waaaaaahmbulance says, I don’t live in my mother’s basement, I have an education, and I have a job -- which is forcing me to do things a human being should ever have to do.

So while I labor away at a job that slowly destroyes my soul, enjoy this video of Bernie Sanders sticking it to John McCain.

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Back to the Future

I know everyone is talking about Timothy Geithner’s new banking plan and how it’s a rehash of George Bush’s “Trash for Cash” plan, but not me.  I don’t want to talk about that stupid shit.  I want to talk to about how we got in this mess, and to do that I’m going to take you on a magical trip back in time.  Where are we going?  We’re going back to 1999.

You remember 1999 right?  Will Smith was on top of the Billboards, Star Wars: Episode I was on top of the Box Office, and America was on top of the world.  It was a magical time where people were making millions of dollars because of the internet, and the nation was in an uproar over Bill Clinton getting a blow job in the Oval Office.

Goddammit I miss that time.

Well what’s so special about 1999?  This:

Congress approved landmark legislation today that opens the door for a new era on Wall Street in which commercial banks, securities houses and insurers will find it easier and cheaper to enter one another’s businesses.

The measure, considered by many the most important banking legislation in 66 years, was approved in the Senate by a vote of 90 to 8 and in the House tonight by 362 to 57. The bill will now be sent to the president, who is expected to sign it, aides said. It would become one of the most significant achievements this year by the White House and the Republicans leading the 106th Congress.

What legislation is this?  What could’ve possibly brought Democrats and Republicans together?  Did they finally agree to help out the poor?  Did they finally decide to help the homeless?   Did they finally decided to become more like Jesus and help the sick?

Fuck no.

They came together to repeal the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933.  What’s the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933?

The original idea behind Glass-Steagall was that separation between bankers and brokers would reduce the potential conflicts of interest that were thought to have contributed to the speculative stock frenzy before the Depression.

I don’t know what the fuck that means, but I trust Congress.  I know they wouldn’t fuck me over.  Let’s see what our elected officials  had to say about this historic legislation.

”The world changes, and we have to change with it,” said Senator Phil Gramm of Texas, who wrote the law that will bear his name along with the two other main Republican sponsors, Representative Jim Leach of Iowa and Representative Thomas J. Bliley Jr. of Virginia. ”We have a new century coming, and we have an opportunity to dominate that century the same way we dominated this century. Glass-Steagall, in the midst of the Great Depression, came at a time when the thinking was that the government was the answer. In this era of economic prosperity, we have decided that freedom is the answer.”

Senator Phil Gramm – where have I heard that name before?  I know it sounds familiar.  Wasn’t he somebody’s top financial adviser this past election?  I know he was, but who’s?  Goddammit, it’s on the tip of my tongue – wait, I know – he was John McCain’s financial adviser.  Yeah.  This was the cunt who said America was a nation of whiners.  What a fucking dick.

But who gives a fuck about what Phil Gramm has to say?  I don’t.  What I give a fuck about is what the Treasury Secretary had to say about this law, since he is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt.

”Today Congress voted to update the rules that have governed financial services since the Great Depression and replace them with a system for the 21st century,” Treasury Secretary Lawrence H. Summers said. ”This historic legislation will better enable American companies to compete in the new economy.”

Again, another name that sounds familiar.  Lawrence Summers…Lawrence Summers.   It rings a bell, and I’m getting this image of a smug, fat, no chin, white asshole, but I just can’t quite put my finger on it – wait a minute.  I know who this guy is.  This guy is Director of the White House’s National Economic Council for President Barack Obama.

Well suck my dick and shove a finger up my ass.  The two candidates running for office last year were getting financial advice from the people who caused this fucking mess.  And now one of them is the Director of the White House’s National Economic Council.

There had to be a member of Congress or someone in President Clinton’s administration that stood up for the American people, and said this was a bad idea.   Let’s go, someone please stand up for the people and restore our faith in the government.

”The concerns that we will have a meltdown like 1929 are dramatically overblown,” said Senator Bob Kerrey, Democrat of Nebraska.

Goddammit. How the fuck did this a child killing motherfucker get elected to the Senate?

Fuck this shit.

No wonder our country is so fucked up.   We had a dumbass, a fatass, and a child killer making these goddamn laws.  I hope all these motherfuckers die from a massive heart attack after doing lines of Columbian cocaine off a male prostitute’s hard cock.

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Shut the fuck up

Fox News has gotten the scoop of the century on Hollywood’s political views since covering the Israeli slaughtering of Palestinians is to boring.

After years of silence, conservatives are coming out of the closet.

Sticking their necks out has not always been good for business. Mark Vafiades, president of the Hollywood Congress of Republicans, says, “I’m hoping that one day politics won’t make a difference in Hollywood. But because there is still subtle intolerance here, conservatives remain somewhat shy.

“If you come to an audition wearing a Bush or McCain button, the casting director will most likely pick another actor. Just being on a set you hear people bashing Bush and the right, because they assume everyone agrees.”

“In too many cases, conservatives are immediately labeled racist, homophobic, bigoted, hateful, demonic, or even un-American without the benefit of debate, and are locked out of the hiring process, with a few exceptions.”

Couldn’t Fox have used something better than “coming out the closet” to describe what’s happening?  Stepping out of the shadows?  Standing up for what they believe in?  Exercising their first Amendment rights?  Anything would have been better than “coming out the closet”.

And why the fuck would you go to an audition wearing a political button?   You don’t know what the director’s political views are.  You wouldn’t walk into a job interview with a political button on would you?  Fuck no.  Everyone knows that. So fuck these stupid actors who think they can audition with their stupid buttons on.

Besides, why the hell are they wearing a Bush button?  The guy hasn’t ran for office since 2004. Celebrities are fucking retarded.  I don’t give a shit about what they believe in, who they pray too, what their eating habits are, who they’re fucking, how many kids they have, what type of STDs they have, how many drugs they take, what their favorite book is, or any other personal details about themselves.

These are the two things I care about. If they’re a male celebrity, I care if they make me laugh. They make me laugh then I’ll see their movie.  If they’re a female celebrity, they better be good looking and they better show me some titties.  If they do that then I will rent their movie and enjoy it in the privacy of my own home.

That’s it. That’s the only thing I care about. So unless celebrities follow my rules then they could all die in a plane crash over the Atlantic Ocean like JFK Jr and I wouldn’t give a shit.

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He's got the right idea

Jesus just made the Christian Right cum in their pants.

Israel moved closer to invading Gaza, saying Thursday it had wrapped up preparations for a broad offensive after Palestinian militants fired about 100 rockets and mortar shells across the border in two days.

Fuck yea baby.  Jews versus Muslims.  Armageddon.  It’s about fucking time Pat Robinson, Jerry Falwell, Rob Parsley, John Hagee, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, John McCain, George Bush, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Rudy Giuliani, and Rush Limbaugh were right.

I want to see chaos.   I want to see Israelis soldiers beat the shit out of innocent Palestinians while suicidal Palestinians blow up innocent Israelis.  I want to see tanks and airplanes flying everywhere blowing shit up. I want to see houses burst into flames and bodies flying through the air.

Why?  Because I’m all for people blowing themselves up in the name of a peaceful, loving god.  Plus I want to see how the Right Wing will act.

I want to see them crowd around their brand new 47-inch LCD TV listening to whoever is on Fox News talk about how this is the end of the world. I want to see religious men struggle to run home with their pants around their ankles while they  masturbate so fast that their dicks start to smoke as they think about the destruction their God is doing.  I want to see female Sunday school teachers knuckle deep in their snatch as they get on their knees to tell God how proud they are of Him and ask Him to kill all those who don’t believe that He is the supreme ruler of the universe.

I want this to happen because I’m going to cum buckets when I see the look on a religious person’s face when he/she finally realize that their fucking God is a fake and they brought this stupid, fucking, petty war on themselves.

Then I hope they kill themselves because they’re worthless pieces of shit.  Stupid fucking cunts…

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Kid Ninja

Are you fucking serious?

McCain vows to help lead ‘loyal opposition’

Sen. John McCain promised Sunday he will work to build consensus in tackling the huge challenges facing the country, and criticized his own party for its latest attack on President-elect Barack Obama.

You’re going to lead a ‘loyal opposition’ to help Barack Obama in tackling the challenges facing the country? How fucking stupid are you? Do you even know what those words mean?

Let me help you:

Loyal (adj) – : faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product

Opposition (noun) – hostile or contrary action or condition

Goddamnit, how does this man continue to get elected into public office?  Why doesn’t anyone call him out on this shit? Would it be so hard to go, “John, umm, that doesn’t make any fucking sense.  You sure you want me to print that?”

Jesus Christ this pisses me off.  Will someone please finish what the Vietnamese started?

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