Because they can get behind a 14 year-old boy.

Sitting in the back seat of his mother’s van as she drives through Atlanta suburbs, Jonathan Krohn is about to sign off with a conservative radio talk show host in Florida. In the 40 minutes he’s been on the air, with the help of his mother’s cellphone, this hyper-articulate Georgia eighth grader has attacked the stimulus bill, identified leaders he thinks will salvage the Republican Party’s image, and assessed the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Did I read that right?  Did it really say this kid is a hyper-articulate eighth grader who is attacking the stimulus bill, identifying leaders he think will salvage the Republican Party’s image and assessing the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate?  Let me re-read it…yep, that’s what it said.

How can people take this little shit serious?  He’s 14, he’s home schooled, and he owns the fucking book 10 Big Lies About America.  This kid is fucking brainwashed.  He doesn’t have an original fucking thought in his goddamn head.  I mean look at this:

Why just that morning, his mother, Marla Krohn, marveled, a staff member for a potential candidate for Georgia governor asked for a meeting with Jonathan. In her gentle drawl, Mrs. Krohn said cautiously, “I’m not sure I’m a supporter of his.”

“Neither am I,” Jonathan piped in.

“But I’m a voter,” Mrs. Krohn reminded him firmly.

Jonathan retorted, “Now that I’m a political pundit, I have the ability to influence people. I have to think about it!”

He can’t even stand up to his own goddamn mother.  Am I surprised?  No.  All he does he repeat the same fucking talking points he’s heard from Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck and everyone else at Fox News.

“Barack Obama is leading us to socialism.”

“The White House is going after Rush Limbaugh and that’s not fair.”

“Barack Obama is the most left-wing president in my lifetime.”

Jesus Christ, I feel sorry for the poor fuck.   His parents won’t let him go to public school, he’s subjected to five hour Christian perspective studying every Friday, and he’s an “experienced” child actor.  And we know how stable child actors are…especially the experienced ones.

But you want to know what this little shit does that drives me crazy?   It isn’t his acting experience or his ability to regurgitate Republican talking points or his gay ass haircut or his stupid fucking smirk.  It’s his hands. I hate how this little cunt uses his goddamn hands.

Why does he have to throw them in the air every time he talks?  He looks like he’s impersonating Rush Limbaugh mocking Michael J. Fox.   It’s annoying.  Either move your fucking hands a little bit or stick them in your goddamn pockets, you little shit.

I can’t wait till this kid gets ass fucked by Lindsey Graham. in 20 years…

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Tags: CPAC, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Jonathan Krohn, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Stupid fucking kid
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Jesus Christ Republicans, you’re getting talked down to by a twelve year-old boy who thinks he knows what conservatism is so he wrote a fucking book about it .  Your party is a fucking joke.  It has gone from fucking prepubescent boys to being taught by them and you enjoy it.

You gave the little shit a standing ovation for saying nothing.  He didn’t say one original godamn thing.  All he did was repeat what’s been said by Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, George Will and the rest of those cocksucking elephant fuckers at Fox News.  That’s it.  And you stupid motherfuckers ate it up.

Where’s your fucking pride?  Most of the people in the room are three times older than this kid and should know what conservatism is. What the hell am I talking about?  Nobody knows what conservatism is.  The last five Republican presidents didn’t even know what conservatism is because they were to busy growing the national debt, increasing the size of government and increasing the number of brown people killed around the world.

So how the hell does this kid know what conservatism is?

He doesn’t.  He doesn’t know a goddamn thing.  But that doesn’t stop him from acting like he does.  And that doesn’t stop all you fucking jack-offs from stroking his ego.  Republicans are setting this kid up to be a failure and that pisses me off.

Why?

Because this kid’s life is going to be ruined by a bunch of selfish, greedy, evil assholes who are doing nothing more than using him to sucker in more people into believe their party is the party that cares.

So where the fuck is this kid’s parents?  Why aren’t they protecting him?  Why aren’t they allowing their child to form his own political opinions instead of forcing theirs down his throat?  It’s not like he was flipping through the TV channels one day and suddenly said, “I’m getting sick of watching cartoons and fun programs that make me laugh and enjoy life.  I think I’ll flip it to Fox News and watch how we’re fucking over the world by invading countries and saying they have weapons of mass destruction.”

Jesus Christ.

This kid should be experiencing the joys of jerking off to internet porn, not giving a shitty speech to a room full of middle age white men who are going to fantasize about ass fucking him later tonight.  Let the kid enjoy his life. Let him trick the neighbor’s daughter into touching his dick.  Don’t force him into giving a two minute pep talk to a group of people so fucking crazy that Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal doesn’t want to be around them.

Let the kid enjoy his life before an old white guy fucks its up…

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Tags: Conservatism, Conservatives, CPAC, Fox News, Jonathan Krohn, Republicans, This kid is fucked
Comments (15)