Just look at the shit she believes in:
Palin believes that a demonic figure speaking from within her refrigerator called her by the name “Zuul”, which is discovered to be the name of a demigod worshiped in 6000 BC by the Hittites, Mesopotamians, and Sumerians as a minion of Gozer, the shape-shifting god of destruction.
Dammit, my bad. That’s from Ghostbusters. Here’s what she believes in:
Palin believes that the spirits have left this life but have not gone into the “Light.” They are stuck in between dimensions, watching their loved ones grow up, but feeling alone. Piper was born in the house. Only 5 years old, he gives off his own life force that is as bright as the Light. It distracts and confuses the spirits, who think Piper is their salvation. Hence, they take him.
Goddammit, I did it again. Where the hell is that article – fuck yeah. Here it is:
Sarah Palin is, broadly speaking, in the emerging post-denominational movement, which by 2000 encompassed 385 million Christians and is vastly different from the faith as it has been practiced in recent centuries. We identified Palin as in a majority tendency of post-denominationalism known as the neo-charismatic movement, or the “Third Wave.”
Evangelical missionary reference work World Christian Trends calls the Third Wave “a new and disturbingly different” kind of Christianity whose members “can accurately be called radical Christians with some pentecostal /charismatic parallels” and which has, as one of the distinctive characteristics of Third Wave Christian ministry, a heavy emphasis on healing miracles including raising the dead—an emphasis promoted from the pulpit in sermons at Palin’s most central church, the Wasilla Assembly of God.
Man, 385 million people believe in this crazy shit, and that bitch is one of them? She believes in healing miracles and raising the dead? Does she believe in anything more retarded than this unbelievable shit? Yes…yes she does:
We also found extensive evidence that Palin is in a religious movement founded in 2001 that has coalesced out of Third Wave Christianity; the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR).
The NAR is bent on radically reinventing Christianity, and is fast becoming the vanguard of the global Christian Right. Its leaders have openly declared that their aim of achieving worldwide biblical government and a utopian age in which evil—as an ontological category—has been banished by purging demon spirits and unbelievers from the earth.
What’s the New Apostolic Reformation? Just your run-of-the-mill group that believes people need to be submissive to Church leaders, who are seen as ordained by God, and given power and authority by God to lead by serving. No biggie.
Who the fuck am I kidding? That’s some crazy shit.
How can any grown, educated person believe in this stupid fucking shit? How is this any different from Islamic fundamentalist? How can the Right-Wing defend this? I mean, believing in a fictitious, all-knowing being who was killed and raised from the dead is one thing, but believing in this shit? Really?
Fuck, I wish John McCain would’ve won the election, because I can see it now:
Sarah Palin would’ve “received a vision” from God telling her to poison John McCain’s prune juice, and ascend to the throne of the United States of America. She would’ve done it, and then called a press conference to tell the world, “The war in Iraq is what God wants, and who am I to tell Him no?” Then, after answering every question asked by Greta Van Susteren, she would’ve pressed the big red button, and nuked the everloving shit out of the Middle East – causing every fat, uneducated Republican piece of shit to cum in his and her pants.
Man, I can’t fucking wait till 2012. It’s going to be awesome. There’s going to be this crazy bitch, that lying bastard who doesn’t believe in monitoring natural disasters, and that stupid fuck who doesn’t care about education running for the Republican nominee. And one of those crazy fucks will win.
Goddammit — my dick is getting hard just thinking about it…
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