Why does the media like this man? Is it because he left his first wife for a younger, richer woman after getting released as a prisoner of war? Is it because he helped create the Saving and Loans collapse in the 1980′s? Is it because he told a funny joke about Chelsea Clinton when she was a teenager? Is it because he suggested the surge for the illegal Iraq War? Or is it because he ‘suspended’ his campaign in order to ‘fix the economy’?

The reason I ask is because I need to know why John McCain is on TV every goddamn Sunday. And it can’t be for his knowledge on the issues, because this man is a fucking idiot. Case in point, he was on yesterday’s Meet The Press talking about how we don’t need to withdraw from Afghanistan because we need to “break the enemy’s will” and “win”.(At least that’s what I think he said. I was having a hard time understanding him over David Gregory’s loud slurping noises.) Of course he doesn’t tell us how to break the enemy’s will or how to win, because David Gregory sucks at his job and didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Now I know I shouldn’t be surprised by what comes out of John McCain’s mouth. I mean, this is the man that talked up Sarah Palin as his vice-president and Phil Gramm as his financial advisor. But I am surprised by how many times he’s been on the Sunday news circuit after he lost the presidency.

I guess he’s just the Beltway’s Clay Aiken. Which makes Obama the Beltway’s Ruben Studdard. Which makes Dick Cheney the Beltway’s Simon Cowell.

Which makes me want to kill myself.

This man needs to get fucked in the ear by an AIDS infected dog.

Why do I waste each Sunday by watching David Gregory, Bob Schieffer, and George Stephanopoulos give Washington and Big Business a sloppy blowjob? Why do I allow my blood pressure to rise when I see John McCain being interviewed for the 37th time since he lost the presidency? Why do I cut myself every time I see George Will and his goofy fucking bowtie talking about the deficit? Why do I punch the wall every time I hear David Gregory quoting some anonymous Republican source talking about the need to increase the troops in Afghanistan by 200,000 percent?

Am I punishing myself for shoving that 78-year-old woman out of the way so I could get the last $199 laptop at Walmart during last year’s Black Friday? Or is my subconscious getting back at me for pissing on that Mercedes Benz that was blocking the entrance to my favorite strip club The Hairless Peach?

To be honest I don’t care what the reason is. I just need it to stop. I need to be able to sleep past Meet the Press , eat breakfast long enough to skip Face the Nation, and watch enough porn to miss This Week with George Stephanopoulos.

Because if I continue to watch these awful, cocksucking Sunday morning talk shows then I’m going to stab myself in the eyeballs with a rusty ice pick.

This guy's a cunt.

Here are ten questions I wish the dickless David Gregory would have asked Timothy Geithner yesterday on Meet the Press:

1. Where has all the TARP money gone?
2. Why don’t you want Congress to audit the Fed?
3. Why is the derivatives market still not regulated?
4. Why do you take Wall Street’s phone calls before Congress’?
5. Why did you allow AIG to repay Goldman Sachs 100 percent on the dollar?
6. What would have happened if you took all the TARP money and gave it to the American people?
7. Why don’t you support an executive cap?
8. Will you be bailing out GMAC again?
9. How is it that Goldman Sachs is going to make 1 billion dollars off of CIT’s bankruptcy, and the American taxpayer’s going to lose 2.3 billion?
10. When Wall Street’s about to cum, do you wrap your lips around the entire dick and allow the cum to fill your mouth before swallowing, or do you hold the dick 4 inches from your face and let Wall Street use your tongue as a target?

Now I know that last question is too vulgar for a Sunday news show, but I think it should be asked because it will tell America a lot about Timothy Geithner.