The new Republican-controlled House plans to schedule a vote to repeal the sweeping health care overhaul before President Barack Obama delivers his annual State of the Union address late this month, incoming House Energy and Commerce Chairman Fred Upton (R-Mich.) said Sunday.

“We have 242 Republicans,” he said on “Fox News Sunday.” He added, “There will be a significant number of Democrats, I think, that will join us. You will remember when that vote passed in the House last March, it only passed by seven votes.”

Upton, whose committee will play a key role in the GOP’s effort to roll back the law, said that he believes the House may be near the two-thirds majority required to override a presidential veto.

Why yes, yes I do hope the Republicans pull this off. But not because I consider “Obamacare” a socialist, communist, evil black man program designed to force the white man into extreme poverty while raping all of the white man’s wives and daughters. No, I hope the Republicans pull this off because I don’t want to fucking subsidize private insurance companies.

Now, someone help me out. Is the story of Republicans, champions of subsidizing corporations at the expense of the taxpayers, fighting to repeal a law that will force millions of Americans to buy shitty, expensive private insurance from mega corporations irony or is it a coincidence?

I always get those two definitions confused.

Remember when I said this?

Of course Obama and the Democrats are going to compromise with Republicans. They want tax breaks just like all the other rich cunts do. They just can’t come out and say they want the tax break. So they let the Republicans do the dirty work while the they piss and moan about not being able to do anything.

Well, looks like I was right:

From Chuck Todd, Mark Murray, Domenico Montanaro, and Ali Weinberg
*** Done deal? Today’s New York Times reports that the Obama White House and Senate Republicans are closing in on a deal to temporarily extend the Bush tax cuts for all income levels — for two years perhaps? — in return for also extending jobless benefits and the Obama middle- class tax cuts from the 2009 stimulus. The deal could happen this week. As NBC’s Savannah Guthrie noted on “TODAY,” senior administration officials said President Obama has threatened to oppose even a temporary extension of the Bush tax cuts unless unemployment benefits and other target tax cuts are also included. And it appears that Senate Republicans are more than open to that deal. “I think we will extend unemployment compensation,” Senate GOP Leader Mitch McConnell said on “Meet the Press” yesterday. By the way, the deal appears to be more done than folks realize, but the issue continues to be the White House selling it to congressional Democrats, which will take place tomorrow on Capitol Hill when the parties hold their caucus meetings.

Huge tax breaks for the rich in return for extending shitty jobless benefits sounds like a fair trade, right? Right?

The poor get no respect:

Led by Democrats, the House approved a measure Thursday that would permanently extend the so-called Bush tax cuts for the middle class while allowing breaks for the wealthiest Americans to expire. The final vote, 234 to 188, was largely along party lines — though 20 Democrats broke with their party to oppose the measure, while three Republicans voted yes.
Still, the vote was largely symbolic and more of a political maneuver meant to appease Democrats who oppose extending tax cuts for the wealthy. The bill has no chance of passing the Senate, where Republicans and some Democrats have signaled they won’t support a bill that doesn’t include a tax break for all Americans. (You can read Yahoo! Politics editor Jane Sasseen’s analysis of the tax-cut vote here.)

While President Obama says he remains opposed to extending tax breaks for the wealthy, the White House has signaled it might be willing to compromise.

On Wednesday, the administration, led by Obama budget director Jack Lew and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, began negotiations with members of Congress on a tax deal. One proposal on the table: a temporary extension of all the Bush tax cuts, including those for the wealthy, for three years.

Of course Obama and the Democrats are going to compromise with Republicans. They want tax breaks just like all the other rich cunts do. They just can’t come out and say they want the tax break. So they let the Republicans do the dirty work while the they piss and moan about not being able to do anything.

You see, Democrats are like that good, sexy Christian girl in high school who really wants to get boned by the star quarterback but can’t do it because of her image. So she accepts an invitation from him to go to a party up at his friend’s lake house under the guise of “trying to save his soul”. But once she gets to the house she knowingly drinks the special punch he hands her and before long she’s got her $79 dollar American Eagle jeans and $37 Victoria Secret thong around her ankles and is doing her best Nick Mangold impression.

So if you honestly believe that Democrats care about the poor than you are dumber than my cousin Mike trying to explain Inception to his retarded 19-year-old niece.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7qoKpIZK_I

Because they’re starting to eat their own.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOQ2GEGm3v0

Get it? I made a dick joke using Anthony Weiner’s last name.

Goddammit it, I’m fucking pathetic. But not as pathetic as the Democrats inability to use reconciliation to give us a public option.

In 1993 this man tried to kill everyone's grandmother.

Those goddamn 1993 Republicans were nothing more than socialist Nazi gangbangers who were trying to kill everyone’s grandma:

For Republicans, the idea of requiring every American to have health insurance is one of the most abhorrent provisions of the Democrats’ health overhaul bills.

“Congress has never crossed the line between regulating what people choose to do and ordering them to do it,” said Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT). “The difference between regulating and requiring is liberty.”

But Hatch’s opposition is ironic, or some would say, politically motivated. The last time Congress debated a health overhaul, when Bill Clinton was president, Hatch and several other senators who now oppose the so-called individual mandate actually supported a bill that would have required it.

[...]

One reason the individual mandate appealed to conservatives is because it called for individual responsibility to address what economists call the “free-rider effect.” That’s the fact that if a person is in an accident or comes down with a dread disease, that person is going to get medical care, and someone is going to pay for it.

“We called this responsible national health insurance,” says Pauly. “There was a kind of an ethical and moral support for the notion that people shouldn’t be allowed to free-ride on the charity of fellow citizens.

[...]

But the summary of the Republican bill from the Clinton era and the Democratic bills that passed the House and Senate over the past few months are startlingly alike.

Beyond the requirement that everyone have insurance, both call for purchasing pools and standardized insurance plans. Both call for a ban on insurers denying coverage or raising premiums because a person has been sick in the past. Both even call for increased federal research into the effectiveness of medical treatments — something else that used to have strong bipartisan support, but that Republicans have been backing away from recently.

Only in America will you find a liberal party trying to reform health care by using a 17-year-old  conservative party idea and the conservative party calling the idea the liberal party stole from them as a socialized, Marxist, government-run death camp.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E3vDO5eYRw

Have you no shame?

You'd be smiling too if you had balls as big as the moon.

Because he tells it like it is.

Republicans and Democrats slammed Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) for calling Linda Robertson, an adviser to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, a “K Street whore” in a month-old radio interview that circulated on Capitol Hill Monday night.

The remarks are the latest to surface in a string of controversial statements by Grayson, who said on the Alex Jones radio show that he believes Robertson, a former Enron lobbyist, is not qualified to pass judgment on intricate financial matters.

Alan Grayson has everything you could ask for in a politician: independently wealthy,  good looking, smart, liberal, huge balls, and Jewish.

God, I’m getting hard just thinking about the time he called Dick Cheney a vampire. Er…I just remembered I left the coffee pot on in the bathroom. So, um,  I need to go turn it off before it burns down the entire neighborhood.

John Feehery is the president of Feehery Group, a former aid to Dennis Hastert, and the author of the shittest article on CNN.com. Now I’m not going to bore you like I did with the Peggy Noonan article, I’m just going to highlight some of my favorite parts.

The metric system is the kind of thing that you can expect from the 60-vote filibuster-proof majority Democrats now have in the United States Senate.

In the Senate, they adjusted the rules to make it harder for Republicans to filibuster (reducing the magic number from 67 to 60 to invoke cloture, which ends debate). In the House, they passed all kinds of reforms to take power away from senior members and give it to junior members. And Congress mandated that the American people embrace the metric system.

The metric system idea never really caught on, and although the pain of Watergate afflicted Republicans for another two elections, they eventually pulled themselves out of their deep hole, with some good ideas and a charismatic leader, who promised to restore America to greatness.

Why are Republicans so worried about the metric system? For fuck’s sake, they give away ten percent of their money to some fucking church, and they worship the Ten Commandments. So why are they afraid of a base ten measuring system?

Democrats have once again reached the magic number of 60, as Norm Coleman finally threw in the towel against the one-time joke writer for Saturday Night Live, Al Franken.

Republicans have little reason to laugh, though, as they look at their diminished ranks and wonder how they have put themselves in such a weakened position. It was only four-and-a-half years ago that the GOP was on the top of the world, and some of their more smug strategists were confidently predicting a permanent Republican majority.

Norm Coleman didn’t throw in the towel. Norm Coleman fucking lost.  And why are you ripping on Al Franken for being a Saturday Night Live writer? Is it because Al Franken’s shits have more writing ability in one undigested kernel of corn than you do in your entire body? Or is it because he’s never been a high school wrestling coach like your former douchebag boss Dennis Hastert?

In other words, the brand killed them. And if you look at the latest polls, the GOP brand hasn’t gotten any better in the last six months. In fact, according to Gallup, even 38 percent of Republicans have a negative view of the Republican Party.

That sentence hurts my brain.

Democrats are now making plans to intervene in the health care marketplace, with some liberals insisting on a government-run “public option” health insurer. In any event, many won’t be satisfied until the government basically sets prices for health insurance and prescription drugs.

What are you insinuating by putting public option in quotes? That people don’t welcome it? Because I would welcome a public option like Mark Sanford welcomes foreign pussy.

Another poll showed that while 40 percent of Americans identify themselves as conservative, only 21 percent think of themselves as liberal. The American people voted for change. They didn’t vote for a liberal orthodoxy that promises more government, higher taxes, slower growth, more pork and a liberal social agenda.

Um, yes they did. If Americans didn’t want a liberal in office they would have voted for John McCain.

In 1975, the newly dominant Democratic Congress sent President Gerald Ford a bill that declared that America was going to be metric, which he signed. When Jimmy Carter became president two years later, he signed a law that told Americans that they couldn’t drive faster than 55 mph.

These measures made perfect sense to the liberal sensibilities of the time. But they didn’t make sense to the American people, and are symbols of a philosophy that was out of touch with the people in the 1970s and is still out of touch with the lives of most Americans today.

Most Americans still don’t use the metric system, and most certainly don’t stick to the 55 mile an hour speed limit on the highways of America. And while they may still like Barack Obama and still laugh at jokes written by Al Franken, they will eventually grow weary of the newly dominant liberals who now run Washington.

Jesus Christ, there you go again with the goddamn metric system. Why the fuck do you hate it so much? Is it because the rest of the world uses it, and if we start then it will lead to a one world government?

Someone needs to take this man outside and smash his goddamn face in with a wooden tennis racket. And then they need to go to CNN headquarters, and anally rape the person who put this article online them with an electric cattle prod.

Because the Democrats are one step closer to a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.

Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter will switch his party affiliation from Republican to Democrat and announced today that he will run in 2010 as a Democrat, according to a statement he released this morning.

Specter’s decision would give Democrats a 60 seat filibuster proof majority in the Senate assuming Democrat Al Franken is eventually sworn in as the next senator from Minnesota. (Former senator Norm Coleman is appealing Franken’s victory in the state Supreme Court.)

Suck on that you stupid fucking Republicans.  With Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats will finally be able to fix the shit George Bush broke while he was in office.

With Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats can finally withdraw all our troops from the Middle East.  What?  Arlen Specter supports the Iraq and Afghanistan wars?  Alright, I guess that’s okay.  I mean, he’s entitled to his opinion.

But anyways, with Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats can finally help the unions.  What?   Arlen Specter’s against helping the unions?  Alright, I don’t understand, but who am I to judge?  I mean, maybe he has a good reason for it, I don’t know.

But, um, with Arlen Specter’s help the Democrats can finally regulate Wall Street.  What?   Arlen Specter’s one of the biggest Wall Street campaign recipients?

Goddammit.  Why the fuck did Arlen Specter switch to the Democratic party when his views are aligned with the Republican party?

Specter told reporters that he received a “bleak” poll Friday from his advisers that showed virtually no chance of him winning in the GOP primary next spring against Pat Toomey, a former Republican House member who recently led the conservative Club for Growth.

Are you fucking serious?  This cock sucker changed parties because he was about to lose his goddamn job?

God-fucking-dammit.

Why can’t normal people get away with the shit politicians do?  Why can’t someone who’s about to get fired go, “You know what?  I don’t feel like losing my job today, so I’ve decided to become the CEO and do the firing.”  Why can’t someone who wants some information go, “You know what?  I think that guy is banging my wife, so I’m going to tell my paperboy to strap him to a table and waterboard his ass until I get an answer.”  Why can’t someone who’s about to go bankrupt go, “You know what?  I don’t feel like being broke, so I’m going to create a failing business and get the government to bail me out with billions of dollars that I don’t have to pay back.”

Why do these rich, white stupid-ass motherfuckers get to make up the rules as they go along to benefit them, while they force every other poor son of a bitch to play by the first set of rules and continue to get fucked over?

For the love of God, could we please, PLEASE, have a crazy person storm the Capital while Congress is in session and blow these motherfuckers away?  For fuck’s sake, these are the assholes who are screwing you over.  Not illegal immigrants.