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Did he really refer to his audience members as “Tim McVeigh wantabees”? And did the audience really cheer when being compared to the worst domestic terrorist in our country’s history?

I’m…I’m at a lose for words.

If anyone needs me I’ll be getting shitfaced in my room while watching reruns of Little People, Big World.

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Jonathan Krohn

Because they can get behind a 14 year-old boy.

Sitting in the back seat of his mother’s van as she drives through Atlanta suburbs, Jonathan Krohn is about to sign off with a conservative radio talk show host in Florida. In the 40 minutes he’s been on the air, with the help of his mother’s cellphone, this hyper-articulate Georgia eighth grader has attacked the stimulus bill, identified leaders he thinks will salvage the Republican Party’s image, and assessed the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Did I read that right?  Did it really say this kid is a hyper-articulate eighth grader who is attacking the stimulus bill, identifying leaders he think will salvage the Republican Party’s image and assessing the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s birth certificate?  Let me re-read it…yep, that’s what it said.

How can people take this little shit serious?  He’s 14, he’s home schooled, and he owns the fucking book 10 Big Lies About America.  This kid is fucking brainwashed.  He doesn’t have an original fucking thought in his goddamn head.  I mean look at this:

Why just that morning, his mother, Marla Krohn, marveled, a staff member for a potential candidate for Georgia governor asked for a meeting with Jonathan. In her gentle drawl, Mrs. Krohn said cautiously, “I’m not sure I’m a supporter of his.”

“Neither am I,” Jonathan piped in.

“But I’m a voter,” Mrs. Krohn reminded him firmly.

Jonathan retorted, “Now that I’m a political pundit, I have the ability to influence people. I have to think about it!”

He can’t even stand up to his own goddamn mother.  Am I surprised?  No.  All he does he repeat the same fucking talking points he’s heard from Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck and everyone else at Fox News.

“Barack Obama is leading us to socialism.”

“The White House is going after Rush Limbaugh and that’s not fair.”

“Barack Obama is the most left-wing president in my lifetime.”

Jesus Christ, I feel sorry for the poor fuck.   His parents won’t let him go to public school, he’s subjected to five hour Christian perspective studying every Friday, and he’s an “experienced” child actor.  And we know how stable child actors are…especially the experienced ones.

But you want to know what this little shit does that drives me crazy?   It isn’t his acting experience or his ability to regurgitate Republican talking points or his gay ass haircut or his stupid fucking smirk.  It’s his hands. I hate how this little cunt uses his goddamn hands.

Why does he have to throw them in the air every time he talks?  He looks like he’s impersonating Rush Limbaugh mocking Michael J. Fox.   It’s annoying.  Either move your fucking hands a little bit or stick them in your goddamn pockets, you little shit.

I can’t wait till this kid gets ass fucked by Lindsey Graham. in 20 years…

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How can Sean Hannity say that the main stream media is ignoring things about the Obama administration when he’s reporting on them?  Isn’t that the same as saying I don’t sleep with hookers while I pay for sex?  And how can Hannity say that the main stream media is bias?  Does he not know what the fuck comes out of his mouth?

And what’s up with Rebecca Hagelin? When Sean Hannity introduced her I was thinking to myself, “Damn, that old lady has some nice tits.” But when she began to talk I couldn’t concentrate anymore because I was afraid that her head was going to fall off.  How much does that cunt’s head weigh?  It was always tilting to her left.  Hanging there.  I just wanted Sean Hannity to stick his hands through the screen and fix it for her so I could get back to jerking off to her tits.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and yes….I had it on mute and a sheet covering half of the TV so I wouldn’t lose my erection looking at Hannity.  I always make sure to take the appropriate steps to maximize my masturbation time…

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Obama's Inauguration crowd

Today marks the day that Barack Obama gets sworn in as President of the United States and since this huge jerk-off festival is costing taxpayers 150 million dollars, I feel like I have a say in what goes on.  So here is a list of things that better happen today or the next time I travel up to Washington, I’m going to leave a flaming plastic bag of my shit on the front steps of the White House.

  • Barack Obama wearing an all white business suit that makes P. Diddy jealous.
  • Sean Hannity telling Barack Obama’s kids that Santa Claus isn’t real, then licking their face so he can taste their tears.
  • Barack Obama executing whoever hired Garth Brooks to sing on Monday.
  • Garth Brooks being beheaded by Lil Wayne and Jack Black.
  • A gay transvestite Puerto Rican midget punching Rick Warren in the nuts then announcing they’re lovers.
  • Nancy Pelosi stripped of her Speaker of the House status and pushed down the Capital steps.
  • Beyonce giving Barack Obama a lap dance while Jay-z weeps in a corner.
  • Dick Cheney getting stabbed in the heart by a homeless WWII veteran.
  • The announcement that marijuana is now legal.
  • George Bush dying in plane crash.
  • Bill O’Reilly getting caught on his knees tossing Barney Frank’s salad.
  • Glenn Beck getting hit by a bus.
  • News that the new bailout money will go directly to the American people.
  • And…Barack Obama agreeing to deport my old computer science teacher because he’s a dick.

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Sarah Palin thong

Sarah Palin is nothing more than stupid, whiny, worthless fucking cunt.

In a recent interview with conservative John Ziegler, Palin said both “exploited” her twelve-week candidacy — a fact, she said, that “says a great deal about our society.”

“I did see that Tina Fey was named entertainer of the year and Katie Couric’s ratings have risen,” Palin said in the interview. “I know that a lot of people are capitalizing on, oh I don’t know, perhaps some exploiting that was done via me, my family, my administration — that’s a little bit perplexing, but it also says a great deal about our society.”

You know what else says a great deal about our society?  When those who are elected into office abuse their power for personal gain.  Like when she got that stupid kid who couldn’t pull out of her daughter a job that he wasn’t qualified for.  Or when she told the police to hold off arresting his mother on federal drug charges until after the election so it wouldn’t look as bad.  Or when she used taxpayer money to pay for her fucking kids traveling expenses.

Will somebody please shove a dick in this woman’s mouth?  Please?  I’m getting sick of listening to her whine all the goddamn time.  If she wants to get mad at anyone it should be at her own fucking self.  All Tina Fey did was dress up like her and quote her word for fucking word.  And the only thing Katie Couric did was ask her some easy fucking questions.  I mean was it really that hard for her to say what newspapers she reads? Really?

So how is it their fault that she’s so fucking stupid that she gives every woman who wants to run for office a bad name?  She’s so fucking stupid that I couldn’t even watch that porn made about her because I knew that the porn star who was portraying her was better qualified for Vice-President than she was.

Jesus Christ I can’t wait till I turn on Fox News and hear Sean Hannity telling the world that Sarah Palin was killed in a meth lab explosion while getting gang banged by seven old Republican oil men.  It will be the only time my dick gets hard while watching Sean Hannity speak.

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John Bolton

How many dicks did this man have to suck to become the 25th United States Ambassador to the United Nations because he makes Sarah Palin’s baby look like a genius.

Yesterday, on Fox’s Hannity and Colmes, Iran war hawk John Bolton said that Israel’s recent bombing campaign in Gaza is all the more reason for the United States to bomb Iran now. “So while our focus obviously is on Gaza right now, this could turn out to be a much larger conflict,” he said, adding that “we’re looking at potentially a multi-front war here.”

How can he expect people to take him seriously with a mustache like that? Look at it.  It looks like someone took a gray, fuzzy shit on his face and he doesn’t have the balls to wipe it off.  No wonder he has been calling for war with Iran for so long now, he’s pissed that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has better facial hair than him.  Stupid bastard.

And why is it the only show that will speak to him is Hannity and Colmes?  Is it because everyone else knows how fucking stupid he is? Sorta like Sean Hannity….

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He's got the right idea

Jesus just made the Christian Right cum in their pants.

Israel moved closer to invading Gaza, saying Thursday it had wrapped up preparations for a broad offensive after Palestinian militants fired about 100 rockets and mortar shells across the border in two days.

Fuck yea baby.  Jews versus Muslims.  Armageddon.  It’s about fucking time Pat Robinson, Jerry Falwell, Rob Parsley, John Hagee, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, John McCain, George Bush, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Rudy Giuliani, and Rush Limbaugh were right.

I want to see chaos.   I want to see Israelis soldiers beat the shit out of innocent Palestinians while suicidal Palestinians blow up innocent Israelis.  I want to see tanks and airplanes flying everywhere blowing shit up. I want to see houses burst into flames and bodies flying through the air.

Why?  Because I’m all for people blowing themselves up in the name of a peaceful, loving god.  Plus I want to see how the Right Wing will act.

I want to see them crowd around their brand new 47-inch LCD TV listening to whoever is on Fox News talk about how this is the end of the world. I want to see religious men struggle to run home with their pants around their ankles while they  masturbate so fast that their dicks start to smoke as they think about the destruction their God is doing.  I want to see female Sunday school teachers knuckle deep in their snatch as they get on their knees to tell God how proud they are of Him and ask Him to kill all those who don’t believe that He is the supreme ruler of the universe.

I want this to happen because I’m going to cum buckets when I see the look on a religious person’s face when he/she finally realize that their fucking God is a fake and they brought this stupid, fucking, petty war on themselves.

Then I hope they kill themselves because they’re worthless pieces of shit.  Stupid fucking cunts…

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