Because that would go against everything the government has taught us:

Nine alleged members of a Christian militia group that was girding for battle with the Antichrist were charged Monday with plotting to kill a police officer and slaughter scores more by bombing the funeral — all in hopes of touching off an uprising against the U.S. government.

[...]

FBI agents moved quickly against Hutaree because its members were planning an attack sometime in April, prosecutors said. Authorities seized guns in the raids but would not say whether they found any explosives.

The arrests have dealt “a severe blow to a dangerous organization that today stands accused of conspiring to levy war against the United States,” Attorney General Eric Holder said.

[...]

Prosecutors said David Stone had identified certain law enforcement officers near his home as potential targets. He and other members discussed setting off bombs at a police funeral, using a fake 911 call to lure an officer to his death, killing an officer after a traffic stop, or attacking the family of an officer, according to the indictment.
After such attacks, the group allegedly planned to retreat to “rally points” protected by trip-wired explosives for a violent standoff with the law.

[...]

The charges against the eight include seditious conspiracy — plotting to levy war against the U.S. — possessing a firearm during a crime of violence, teaching the use of explosives, and attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction — homemade bombs. The defendants were jailed, awaiting bail hearings Wednesday.

So these people were religious fundamentalists who were charged with plotting to levy war against the U.S, possessing a firearm during a crime of violence, teaching the use of explosives, and attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction, and they weren’t thrown into Gitmo or Bragram?

Say what you will about Muslim fundamentalists, but at least their terrorist plans and attacks are grounded in sound political reasoning. They either want to punish the people who are invading their country, punish the people of their country for voting/endorsing the wrong political party, or they’re trying to overthrow the current government.

Where as Christian fundamentalists are trying to wake up the goddamn Antichrist; the mythical being who will bring about the end of the world. Which, if my Baptist upbringing serves me correct, is needed for Jesus to return to earth and save all of his children. And if these crazy crackers were true Christians then they wouldn’t be around to fight the Antichrist because they would be in Heaven jerking-off God. Which means their plan was fucking retarded.

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Tags: Christian Terrorists, Crazy Crackers, Stupid white people
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Here’s the transcript for those who can’t watch the video:

Hi, my name is Robert Erickson and Im really excited to be here. Its people like all of you, and events like this that make our country great! Give yourselves a round of applause!

I just want to talk about a couple themes this afternoon because I love this country and I want to see America be the best place it can be.

Mr. Gutierrez is getting ready to propose an immigration bill in just a few short days, and we have to make sure he knows that we want a bill thats tough on immigration. Now is the time for us to stand up and make our voices heard!

In Minneapolis, where Im from, we have a huge immigrant population thats been causing a number of problems. With the economy in recession, and so many people getting laid off, and unable to find work, immigrants should not be competing for the few jobs that are out there. Its just not fair to the folks who have a claim to this land and the right to be here. All across America, they are contributing to the flooding of our job markets making it hard for Americans to find jobs. Well Im fed up and its time to let our politicians know that enough is enough, and were not gonna take it any more!

We need to secure our borders to protect our country. We need to restore order and put an end to the anarchy thats sweeping the nation. We need tougher immigration laws to make sure that we send these people back where they came from. We need to protect the sovereignty of the real Americans. We need to hold our politicians accountable.

Its no secret that with an invasion of immigrants, comes waves of crime. We see them involved in massive theft, in murder, and bringing diseases like smallpox, which is responsible for the death of millions of Americans. These arent new problems though, they have been going on for hundreds of years, and continue to this day.

I say its time for us to say enough is enough! Are you with me? Are you with me? Lets send these European immigrants back where they came from! I dont care if they are Polish, Irish, English, Italian, or Norwegian! European immigrants are responsible for the most violent and heinus crimes in the history of the world, including genocide and slavery! Its time to restore the sovereignty of people native to this land! I want more workplace raids, starting with the big banks downtown. There are thousands of illegals working in those buildings, hiding in their offices, and taking Dakota jobs. Let’s round them up and ship them out. Then we need to hit them at home where they sleep, I dont care if we separate families, they should have known better when they came here illegally!

If we aren’t able to stand up to these European immigrants, who can we stand up to? We need to send every one of them back home, right now.

Thank you very much, and well see you in the streets!

Columbus go home! Columbus go home! Columbus go home!

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Tags: Illegal immigration, Robert Erickson, Stupid white people, Tea Baggers
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You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

President Obama retook his oath of office Wednesday after Chief Justice John Roberts flubbed while delivering it at Tuesday’s inauguration.

The do-over was aimed at dispelling any confusion that might arise from Tuesday’s take — in which “faithfully” was said out of sequence — and erase any question that Obama is legally the president.

“But the oath appears in the Constitution itself. And out of an abundance of caution, because there was one word out of sequence, Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath a second time,” the statement read.

Jesus fucking Christ.  We’ve got some stupid people in this goddamn country. The man said one word wrong and now people are worried about the Constitution?  Where were these defenders of the Constitution when it was getting bent over and double penetrated by George Bush and Dick Cheney?  Where were the defenders of the Constitution when the Patriot Act was pass? Where were the defenders of the Constitution when warrantless wiretapping was made legal? Where were the defenders of the Constitution when our leaders admitted to torturing prisoners?

I guess the defenders of the Constitution were too busy watching how Brittany Spears treated her kids and researching if Barack Obama was a Muslim. Even goddamn “reporters” are talking about this stupid shit.

Fox News anchor Chris Wallace said: “We’re wondering here whether or not Barack Obama in fact is the president of the United States. They had a kind of garbled oath. It’s just conceivable that this will end up going to the courts.”

What the fuck Chris?  What the fuck?  Shouldn’t you be reporting something more important than this?  Like, and this is just off the top of my head, where all the bailout money has gone, why are we going to give banks another bailout; what is happening to Bernie Madoff; the Supreme Court now allowing illegally obtained evidence in court; what the auto industry is doing with all that money we gave them; the slaughtering of Palestinian people in Gaza; and is that your real fucking hair? Any of those stories are more important to the people than this stupid shit but you don’t give a fuck, do you?

I hope that one day while you’re giving a report about a protesting midget clown who doesn’t have a left leg, your fucking fake hair catches on hair and the flames burn your pale, droopy, fucking face off…you stupid, worthless twat.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Constitution, Full of shit, John Roberts, Oath, President, Stupid white people
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