This man needs to get fucked in the ear by an AIDS infected dog.

Why do I waste each Sunday by watching David Gregory, Bob Schieffer, and George Stephanopoulos give Washington and Big Business a sloppy blowjob? Why do I allow my blood pressure to rise when I see John McCain being interviewed for the 37th time since he lost the presidency? Why do I cut myself every time I see George Will and his goofy fucking bowtie talking about the deficit? Why do I punch the wall every time I hear David Gregory quoting some anonymous Republican source talking about the need to increase the troops in Afghanistan by 200,000 percent?

Am I punishing myself for shoving that 78-year-old woman out of the way so I could get the last $199 laptop at Walmart during last year’s Black Friday? Or is my subconscious getting back at me for pissing on that Mercedes Benz that was blocking the entrance to my favorite strip club The Hairless Peach?

To be honest I don’t care what the reason is. I just need it to stop. I need to be able to sleep past Meet the Press , eat breakfast long enough to skip Face the Nation, and watch enough porn to miss This Week with George Stephanopoulos.

Because if I continue to watch these awful, cocksucking Sunday morning talk shows then I’m going to stab myself in the eyeballs with a rusty ice pick.