I know everyone is talking about Timothy Geithner’s new banking plan and how it’s a rehash of George Bush’s “Trash for Cash” plan, but not me. I don’t want to talk about that stupid shit. I want to talk to about how we got in this mess, and to do that I’m going to take you on a magical trip back in time. Where are we going? We’re going back to 1999.
You remember 1999 right? Will Smith was on top of the Billboards, Star Wars: Episode I was on top of the Box Office, and America was on top of the world. It was a magical time where people were making millions of dollars because of the internet, and the nation was in an uproar over Bill Clinton getting a blow job in the Oval Office.
Goddammit I miss that time.
Well what’s so special about 1999? This:
Congress approved landmark legislation today that opens the door for a new era on Wall Street in which commercial banks, securities houses and insurers will find it easier and cheaper to enter one another’s businesses.
The measure, considered by many the most important banking legislation in 66 years, was approved in the Senate by a vote of 90 to 8 and in the House tonight by 362 to 57. The bill will now be sent to the president, who is expected to sign it, aides said. It would become one of the most significant achievements this year by the White House and the Republicans leading the 106th Congress.
What legislation is this? What could’ve possibly brought Democrats and Republicans together? Did they finally agree to help out the poor? Did they finally decide to help the homeless? Did they finally decided to become more like Jesus and help the sick?
Fuck no.
They came together to repeal the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933. What’s the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933?
The original idea behind Glass-Steagall was that separation between bankers and brokers would reduce the potential conflicts of interest that were thought to have contributed to the speculative stock frenzy before the Depression.
I don’t know what the fuck that means, but I trust Congress. I know they wouldn’t fuck me over. Let’s see what our elected officials had to say about this historic legislation.
”The world changes, and we have to change with it,” said Senator Phil Gramm of Texas, who wrote the law that will bear his name along with the two other main Republican sponsors, Representative Jim Leach of Iowa and Representative Thomas J. Bliley Jr. of Virginia. ”We have a new century coming, and we have an opportunity to dominate that century the same way we dominated this century. Glass-Steagall, in the midst of the Great Depression, came at a time when the thinking was that the government was the answer. In this era of economic prosperity, we have decided that freedom is the answer.”
Senator Phil Gramm – where have I heard that name before? I know it sounds familiar. Wasn’t he somebody’s top financial adviser this past election? I know he was, but who’s? Goddammit, it’s on the tip of my tongue – wait, I know – he was John McCain’s financial adviser. Yeah. This was the cunt who said America was a nation of whiners. What a fucking dick.
But who gives a fuck about what Phil Gramm has to say? I don’t. What I give a fuck about is what the Treasury Secretary had to say about this law, since he is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt.
”Today Congress voted to update the rules that have governed financial services since the Great Depression and replace them with a system for the 21st century,” Treasury Secretary Lawrence H. Summers said. ”This historic legislation will better enable American companies to compete in the new economy.”
Again, another name that sounds familiar. Lawrence Summers…Lawrence Summers. It rings a bell, and I’m getting this image of a smug, fat, no chin, white asshole, but I just can’t quite put my finger on it – wait a minute. I know who this guy is. This guy is Director of the White House’s National Economic Council for President Barack Obama.
Well suck my dick and shove a finger up my ass. The two candidates running for office last year were getting financial advice from the people who caused this fucking mess. And now one of them is the Director of the White House’s National Economic Council.
There had to be a member of Congress or someone in President Clinton’s administration that stood up for the American people, and said this was a bad idea. Let’s go, someone please stand up for the people and restore our faith in the government.
”The concerns that we will have a meltdown like 1929 are dramatically overblown,” said Senator Bob Kerrey, Democrat of Nebraska.
Goddammit. How the fuck did this a child killing motherfucker get elected to the Senate?
Fuck this shit.
No wonder our country is so fucked up. We had a dumbass, a fatass, and a child killer making these goddamn laws. I hope all these motherfuckers die from a massive heart attack after doing lines of Columbian cocaine off a male prostitute’s hard cock.
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Barack Obama,
John McCain,
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